Andy Dick...bounced & busted! Grabbing crotch is a no-no...

Dick's gonna be someone's bitch now!

I was trying to track down the Johnny Depp RIP rumor on twitter this evening when I stumbled across a real-life headline that was a bit of a shocker.

Andy Dick (ironically) was bounced & busted for allegedly grabbing the crotch of an employee at a bar in West Virginia.

The local police issued this statement to the press:

"Based upon statements of two victims and independent witness accounts alleging that he had engaged in unwanted and uninvited groping of the two victims' genital areas, Andrew R. Dick (AKA Andy Dick) of South Pasadena, Calif., was arrested and charged with two counts of Sex Abuse in the First Degree."

That's the least of his problemos, though!

Because the off-beat comic is currently on probation, a trip to the local jailhouse may be a sign of what's on the horizon, as the new year kicks into high gear.

Sex behind bars!

Bail was posted, though, so he's "out" for the moment and expected to appear before a Judge to answer to two counts of felony sexual abuse.

Obviously the promoters are a tolerant (forgiving) lot, otherwise, they would not have sprung sixty-thousand bucks to engender (!) a quick  exit from the county pokie.

If you want to catch a letch (and a perv) in action, hop on the latest cheapie budget flight out to West Virginia; after all, the down-on-his luck (but brimming with wild sexual abandon) lad is still slated to tread the boards come Saturday and Sunday night.

Maybe the owners should toy with the idea of re-naming the comedy hot spot something more risque under the circumstances.

The Funny Boner Comedy Action Club!

In the prior incident (wherein it was alleged he pulled down a teenager's skimpy tank top) Dick pled guilty to a misdemeanor battery charge, agreed to probation, and nodded okay to a stipulation that he strap on an ankle bracelet so authorities could keep track of the unpredictable off-the wall comic day and night.

Is rehab on the way?

News at 11!

http://www.julianayrs.com/

Dim Sum Funeral...Anna Chi's new offering opens in limited release Friday! Sensuous Bai Ling sizzles...

Bai Ling is a lesbian seeking a sperm donation from pries

Landing a distributor in the past few months has been tough for Independent filmmakers - what with the state of the economy being the way it has been - and due to shifting norms in the Film Industry widespread.


On the festival circuit - in my exciting colorful travels from AFI Dallas in cattle country, to the Newport Beach Festival in the OC, to CineVegas (Sin City) - I've crossed paths with frustrated (but ingenuous) filmmakers forced to blaze their own trails in respect to distributing their product.


And, the heck with the major studios, thank you very much!


For example - in spite of the fact "Skin" is a quality thought-provoking drama (about apartheid) garnering accolades and a bevy of prizes around the country - no takers.


Even with a bankable star like Sam O'Neil turning in a stellar performance!


Rock Slyde, which I caught at AFI Dallas (starring Andy Dick) was - at times - side-splitting fun and definitely a popcorn movie. But, the off-beat comedy is still dangling in the wind waiting for the big brass ring to swing its way.


Review (Rock Slyde): 04/06/2009


http://ijulian.blogspot.com/2009/04/afi-dallasrock-slyde-spoof-on-film-noir.html

"Children Of Invention" (Asian Pacific Film Festival) won top prize when it screened a few weeks ago at the Director's Guild of America - but nevertheless - is still out-in-the-cold when it comes to sweet movie deals Hollywood-style.


Handsome Tze Chun, the director, wasn't inclined to sit on his butt and wait for suitors to come calling, though.


No Sir!


So, the dynamic filmmaker fathomed up a novel approach to plugging and flogging his film.


The visionary director sprang into action and utilized the Festival Circuit to promote the charming"family oriented" film.


Outside in the foyer on the Festival grounds, after the curtain for the big show fell, savvy handlers were at-the-ready to hawk the DVD's.


In my interview with Mr. Chun (a friend on facebook now), he noted that he intends to log all the data pertaining to promotional costs, expenses, and sales - at which point - he'll painstakingly post the specifics on the Internet so that other filmmakers will have a guide to either follow or set their compass by.


Review (Children of Invention): 05/10/2009


http://ijulian.blogspot.com/2009/05/asian-pacific-film-festivalentertaining_10.html
 "Moscow Chill" finally got afloat in the mainstream just recently with their espionage thriller (starring Norman Reedus of "Boondock Saints") although it was a tough sell.


Over the past year since I first took a gander at it, and wrote a positive review, I have followed their progress.


For a million bucks, director Chris Solomine turned out a quality entertaining action-adventure film.


As I said at the time, Hollywood should sit up and take notice!


Review (Moscow Chill) : 02/28/08


http://ijulian.blogspot.com/2008/02/moscow-chillentertaining-low-budget.html

In a way, I feel like the films I became enchanted with or entertained by over the past year or so, are kind of like my "children" now out in the world fending for themselves.


I've got to cheer 'em on from the sidelines, at least.


A few others Indies worth mentioning:


"Before the Music Dies" (Rock Documentary), "The Perfect Age of Rock "N" Roll" (Jason Ritter starring), "Train Master" (well-crafted Disney-style children's flick by Phil Bransom), Inalienable (Richard Hatch starring and direction by Star Trek actor Walter Koenig).


Review (Before Music Dies): 08/29/07


http://ijulian.blogspot.com/2007/08/thomas-carlyle-wordsworth-said-who-is.html


Review (Perfect Age of Rock "N" Roll): 04/27/09


http://ijulian.blogspot.com/2009/04/newport-beach-film-festivaljason-ritter.html

Review (Train Master): 04/14/08


http://ijulian.blogspot.com/2008/04/train-mastercharming-family.html

Review (Inalienable): 04/02/2008


http://ijulian.blogspot.com/2008/04/inalienablewalter-koenig-script.html


And, there is good news to report for "Dim Sum Funeral", too!


Although I originally interviewed the stars (Bai Ling & Curtis Lum) and Director (Anna Chi) on the red carpet at the AFI's prestigious annual Festival (3 years running) in Dallas, scheduling conflicts prevented me from catching it on the silver screen.


Same thing happened in Newport Beach when the well-crafted offering premiered there.


Finally, when "Dim Sum Funeral" was booked into the Asian Pacific Film Festival just a scant few weeks ago, I was able to plunk myself down in a comfy seat in a packed house at the DGA and drink up every rich celluloid moment.


I was bowled over by the performances, storyline, and original thought-provoking themes.


Third-time lucky for both the film and moi.


On the heels of the last screening, "Dim Sum Funeral" scooped distribution.


So, here I am to proudly announce that "Dim Sum Funeral" will be gracing the screen of two legit Theatrical venues in the Los Angeles mainland, commencing Friday June 12th.


*Laemmle Sunset 5 (West Hollywood)
*Laemmles Pasadena Playhouse


Since it is crucial that an Independent film gain a solid footing at the box office the first weekend, I am urging all the locals (and those willing to travel far and wide from the outskirts of the town and county) to take "Dim Sum Funeral" in.


Since Bai Ling, a sexy little darling I've struck up a good relationship with on the Festival beat, is starring in the role of a lesbian - and Dim Sum is opening in West Hollywood on Pride weekend in Gay Gulch (WeHo) - I trust there will be a strong showing of hopeless romantics gays ratcheting up the ticket sales, for starters.


Then again, maybe an even more diverse crowd will be inclined to take a daring enthusiastic theatrical leap, after perusing the reviews!


The film was directed by a sweet lady, Anna Chi.


When an individual first crosses paths with the celebrated director (Joy Luck Club) it is evident from the get-go that she's a gentle loving soul- in spite of the fact - her own life wretchedly twisted here and there over the years, scarring her, undoubtedly.


For example, Ms. Chi unwittingly first stumbled into the nasty glare of the public eye when she was a naive a young girl during the Cultural Revolution in China.


In one impulsive moment in her life, she was inspired to write a letter to her father asking him to consider following the political views and philosophies of Chairman Mao and the Party.


The government used the correspondence to popularize their ideologies and Anna soon became a symbol of the Communist party.


In fact, her name (steeped in tradition) was changed from Shaoai (Forever Spring) to Yong Hong (Forever Red).


High drama, indeed!


Later on when the excitement died down, Anna saw the light at the end of the tunnel, and enrolled in film school


Chi had a good eye - and so - became an editor.


In the throes of this career endeavour, Ms. Chi was forced into an arranged marriage that resulted in a messy divorce and a departure from the philosophy of the Party.


Eventually, after she immigrated to Los Angeles, she learned how to speak English.


From humble beginnings, she raised herself up to loftier climbs due to the dedication to her craft and the innate ability to focus on the essentials in a humanistic way.


When I noted that her cast & crew were greatly impressed by her kindness and understanding on the set, she calmly responded:


"If you treat people with respect, you get respect back."


Her numerous credits include the "Joy Luck Club"(Wayne Wang), NIXON (Oliver Stone), and the anime film "The Three Kingdoms" (John Woo).


Currently, Ms. Chi is writing MERMAID for famed producer, Xu Ligong.


Cast
Dim Sum Funeral


Bai Ling, Lisa Lu, Talia Shire, Julia Nixon, Russell Wong, Kelly Hu, Francoise Yip, Steph Song.


Review (Dim Sum Funeral): 05/04/2009


http://ijulian.blogspot.com/2009/05/asian-pacific-film-festivalanna-chis.html


HD Video Interview: 05/09/2009


http://ijulian.blogspot.com/2009/05/asian-pacific-film-festivalcurtis-lum.html


*Curtis Lum discusses his role as a sperm donating priest with lesbian character Bai Ling. (pictured above)


Well, as they say at Warner Brothers.

That's all folks!

 http://www.thetattler.biz

AFI Dallas...Rock Slyde spoof on Film Noir genre sparks interest! Patrick Warburton & Andy Dick in top comedic form...

Andy Dick and Patrick Warburton appear on screen in top comedic form in the Independent feature, Rock Slyde, which premiered at the AFI Dallas Film Festival this past week.

The idea for the off-beat film was inspired by the handsome director's mother, Chris Dowling noted on the red carpet, with a sly smile on his face.

"Can't you make a movie that doesn't have any violence or gratuitous sex in it," she pointedly asked the talented screenwriter one day.

The Clark Kent look-a-like rose to the occasion by penning a script that hits the funny bone more often than not.

Patrick Warburton (private dick Rock Slyde) adeptly plays the role to the hilt - with a droll unaffected approach, mind you - that ultimately takes a poke at the film noir genre it sprang from.

Andy Dick - who sports a beard in this part - is hilarious in a zany role that is decidedly off-beat.

Part of the reason the cult figure the TV personality plays on screen succeeds so admirably is due to inpeccable timing on the part of Dick and his innate ability to create a character that resonates with its own truth within a specific context.

Unfortunately, Rock Slyde - the movie - lags at times.

Although Dowling is a competent writer with original ideas, the script should have been tightened a smidgen, to ensure lazy minds didn't wander a tad.

In fact, when I exchanged notes with a couple of other industry-types, they admitted they - too - started to snooze a little about three-quarters of the way through Slyde beneath the floodlights.

In its current incarnation, the full-length feature tends to lurch and burp a bit; then, roll over and die a second or two, before unexpecedly picking up again as it races to a hilarious finale.

In many respects the entertaining piece of fluff is uneven - but fixable - in my estimation.

For a low-budget feature (shot on an old soundstage at Sunset Blvd & Gower Street in the heart of Hollywood) that wrapped in a six short creatively-stuffed weeks, I found the production values to be surprisingly rich.

Warburton and Dick also manage to rise above the material and make it an inviting popcorn movie film buffs on the edge of the mainstream may be able to warm up to.

Teens may guffaw a lot, too, quite possibly transforming the little-movie-that-could into an unexpected hit come the lazy days of summer.

Of course, such a scenario is only within reach, if distribution is forthcoming, and a visionary studio backs Rock Slyde with eye-catching promos geared toward the market, of course!

1 thumb & 1 half-knuckle up!

http://www.julianayrs.com