With a nod to Mr. Blackwell
The male animal has always been blessed with the most colorful plumage of the species.
To hasten the mating ritual, perhaps?
So, in our modern permissive society, the savvy fashion-minded dude is inclined to push the limits, take risks, even carve a niche in the high-stakes world of pop culture, the high-profile business arena, you name it!
When it comes to cutting a fine swath, some dudes just got it.
So, they flaunt it.
Other hapless losers, continually miss the fashion mark by a country mile.
Here's the 1st Annual 10 Worst-Dressed men (and 10 Best) list to brighten your day, with a nod to Mr. Blackwell, of course!
Ten Worst-Dressed Men Phil Spector(infamous for wall of hair) A whirling dervish with a bee-hive "do" driven to sheer madness by a "wall of murderous sound".
Be bop a-loo!
Rod Stewart
(Whiskey Soaked rock star)
A ruddy-complexioned dykey Dusty Springfield impersonator blown-dry to seedy perfection in a matronly Royal Blue Kimono Queen Lizzie would be proud of!
Brandon Flowers
Pop Icon
A killer Bar Mitzvah crooner in spiffy Maitre d's jacket trotted out in jazzy black designer trim!
A Boy Band wannabee with enough tarted-up groupies to start-up his own bubble-gum factory!
Richard Simmons
(Fitness Queen)
Nellie wimp to Norse-God in just six aerobic weeks.
The rigorous weight-watch & body work-out taskmaster can help you accomplish the quirky sweaty "Mission: Impossible" in the wink of an eye.
To rustle up cut pecs a-la-Pitt (pooh on the femme ta ta's) stop tossing your legs in the air & cut down on hormones, quick!
Barry Manilow
(Vegas Crooner)
The joker or Ellen Degeneres on prozac?
Just maybe, no fashion sense, at all?
No matter how 'ya cut the cloth, the Pink Lady is Queen, packing 'em in nightly on the glitzy Vegas strip!
No hot-ticket wonder!
Retreads of old hits are in Vogue now for those who nostalgically pine for the good ole American way of life that's seen better days.
Donald Trump
(Vanity be her name)
A smarmy tie-dangling dandy in blinding canary yellow - with a dash of fragrant Hotel soap - wafting about his nouveau riche mogul demeanor.
The fashion elite scratch their heads, meanwhile, and ponder why the "Donald" can't afford to do somethin' about that crusty old souffle - that goes pouf - flat as a pancake on top of his noggin'.
Kid Rock
Front Man
A Honkie Pimp with a penchant for endangered pussy and slinky luxury fur. And, a swish-buckler to boot!
White trash with punk overtones crying out to be ushered into the tony set!
Johnny Depp
Rags to Riches to Rags Tale
No. 1 contender for back-up dancer in Cher's bone head production of gypsies, tramps and thieves.
Johnny has enough trussed-up belted flourishes to titillate any bone fide S & M Queen - and a provocative come-hither-look - sure to entice hot-to-trot babes, in-the-closet homos, and those in-between.
Tony Curtis
Aging Lothario
A ruffled has-been personifying B-Movie sleaze.
If this is an American Prince, descendants of the Mayflower need to charge the Castle and push the classless thespian into the moat, please!
Steven Cojocaru
Styless Fashionista
Chastity Bono in drag?
An over-the-top fashion critic who sashays and rallies on behalf of the Fashion Elite.
But, a mirror turned back on the fabric Queen t'wil reveal a high-profile gag out of Vogue since Rex Reed first reined supreme.
Sorry, Cojo!
Ten Best Dressed Men
Brian Williams
The conservative news anchor instills confidence as he boldly strides forward into sartorial spendour - in a never-never land - where fashion wimps rarely prance.
A study in cool icy contrasts (monochromatic blues against pristine whites on elegant midnight black silhouettes) he's a leader of the pack who always gets the lead right.
Wagner is a masculine beauty shamelessly at home in designer duds, elegant three-piece suits, and the like.
But, being a man's man, sports a day-old stubble, to effect a rugged fashion sense that is the envy of the most impotent of men.
Tom Cruise
Clotheshorse with the presence to back it up!
In spite of troubles over the past year, 'ya gotta hand it to the "Top Gun".
With little aplomb, the couch-jumper struts down the red carpet in a Tuxedo or fanciful designer suit, with ease.
Sexy in leather bomber jackets & snug-fitting jeans, a nod goes to a dude who is a role model on the fashion runway.
Johnny Brenden
Flash with Cash!
On the red carpet in Vegas (or anywhere else for that matter) Johnny (no-cum-lately) is a rare breed of man capable of relaxing in a chic Gianni Versace sure to stifle any other dude.
Then, boosts the fashion stakes into the stratosphere, when he sparks up the ensemble with a $100, 000.00 diamond- studded bracelet that other dues can ill afford.
A dazzling dizzying hunk of a male - Mr. Muscles - is!!!
David BowieTrend-setter, innovator, and leader of the transgender spaceman pack!
Yes - glitter, rouge, and wide-brimmed hats - are his forte and signature style.
Surprisingly, David holds up well in the classics on a night out on the town.
Barack Obama
The "Brown Look"
Probaby a brown-noser in school, who peddled some influence with the teach.
As to the "Brown" look - well - he's a master at it, man!
Check out the shade of brown he hand-picks for the suit he models to the right. On the money, 'fer sure!
And the correctly knotted tie in complementary colors (against a pristine white dress shirt) drums up sheer elegeance and class.
A study in individual style!
Brad Pit
Fashion Plate Special
A dude's dude, dude!
When it comes to fashion, Pitt has it all.
The attitude to carry a look off, for starters.
A slightly notorious brown leather jacket teamed with a floral design, for instance (that would render most guys to the status of lowly pimp or rounder on the wrong side of town) revs up a hint of danger to his persona, 'ya know?
The A-list actor would look good in a K-mart sheet tossed around his slightly-buffed frame.
Come to think of it, isn't that what he strode into combat in on the set of Troy?
Blair Underwood
Actor
When I scuttled about in office scenes on LA LAW many moons ago, I got an eyeful of Blair Underwood in the flesh.
In a suit, the man was pure Legal Eagle all the way, sure to incline any hanging Judge to rule in his favor.
When he strides in the room, in fact, a breath of fresh air permeates the space, too.
The stylish dude is also equally at home in trendy designers duds tossed out each season to spark up the fashion trail a bit. (pictured here)
Sidney Poitier
Man for all Fashion Seasons
A seasoned actor never out of fashion step at a premiere on the red carpet or even at a cook-out among friends.
Sidney is suave & sophisticated in designer suits that he spruces up with subtle fashion flourishes in pastel shades and chic accessories.
And, versatile enough to sport bold-patterned shirts like the one picture above, without anyone cringing.
George Clooney
Man's Man-about-Town
Born into the old-world charm & elegance of the Hollywood elite, Georgie boy still manages to effect casual chic.
He's comfy in three-piece suits, a hunting cap - even long-johns - I just betcha.
In the final analysis, Clooney is a swoon dog, who makes heads turn 'cause he's the ultimate fashion plate.
After a gander at the Clooney persona, it's obvious that the old truism is correct.
It's style, not the clothes, that make the man!
Post: 12/31/2008
Julian Ayrs 10 Worst-Dressed Women's List
