Today I was strolling through UCLA campus when I spied a gaggle of students queuing up for a free flu shot.
Because of a hectic schedule this past couple of weeks, I neglected to stop in for one at the local clinic.
Since CVS leases space to a qualified mini-clinic in their store on Westwood Blvd, I thought I'd stretch my legs a little and get a jab in the arm, before a nasty bout of the winter dregs descended on me.
As the technician prepared the vaccine, I noticed in their flyer that the nurse on duty was qualified to perform simple medical tasks which didn't require a Doctor's license.
I felt silly when a thought crossed my mind, but plunged ahead anyway."Can I ask you a dumb question," I asked hesitantly.
What's a person going to say to a silly request like that?
"Shoot!"
I prefaced my question by first noting that the medical affliction was a bizarre one.
Then, proceeded.
I pointed out that in the past couple of weeks - for some inexplicable reason - my belly-button (told you it was a zinger!) was swollen and sore to the touch.
"May I see it," she reacted without batting an eye.
When I lifted my tight-fitting "t" - designed by Abercrombie & Fitch (natch!) - I thrust out my less-than-toned stomach a tad so her keen eye could take a gander at the offending body part.Her professional assessment jarred me!
The young beauty was familiar with the medical condition.
Whew, thank God!
In the back of my mind, I imagined that - just maybe - the doctor who delivered me screwed up at Toronto General a scant few decades ago (!) and I was just now suffering from the after-effects of a botched snip at the umbilical coil.
Just kidding!
The nurse noted that sometimes teen-age girls experience the same aggravating skin eruption when they wear tight jeans and hip-hugging shorts.
If the button (or buckle on a belt) is crafted in "nickel", she added, there may be an allergic reaction.Have the Chinese slammed us once again with unsafe consumer products?
Recently, I purchased a couple of pairs of designer jeans, so her theory was conceivable! (no pun intended!)
"I recommend that girls take a bit of nail polish and swipe a bit on the side of the button next to the skin to prevent the problem from resurfacing."
A bit of make-up left-over from West Hollywood's Carnival would do the trick!
Long-term, though, I expect it may be a wise idea to snap up fashion outfits with plastic or bone buttons at the waistline, eh?
Either way, I trust I won't be sporting an unsightly mini-bump in the glorious ab zone of my 178 lb. frame - and likewise - scaring off potential dates next time I slip buck naked into the shower stall at the gym.
