Samuel Zell, the head of a raft of reputable newspapers across the country, raised some eyebrows in the newsroom in recent days, when he noted that he "didn't mind if employees watched pornography while at work", as long as the titillating foray into the realms of carnal knowledge didn't interfere with productivity.
A bit of tawdry flesh and graphic simulated sex generally engenders a much-needed boost in these quarters sure to jump-start the day, so I applaud the guy (yeah, right; and, I have swamp land in Florida you may be interested in acquiring, too).
Apparently, the newly-installed top dog at Tribune had a surprising request on the heels of this office memo,
"If any of you find any good (porn) sites, let me know..."
Ah, it's always encouraging to learn the boss is a horn dog; it's so much easier to fathom a way to fast track up the career ladder, ya know?
Personally, I'm not about to share any of my "pleasure product"; after all, those endless late-night searches - googling a little here, probing a little there - are sexually strenuous, downright exhausting, at times.
Forget about sloppy seconds, too - Sam!
Zell's ideas about how to inspire and spark worker motivation are novel, as well.
According to reports from prudish employees eye-witness to events, the whip-snapping print King actually facilitated salty language in a zesty effort to "shake things up" at the office.
A complacency had set in, argued Zell, so it was time to stir the pot - passion on all fronts, eh?
But management fired a subtle warning shot across his bow, and subsequently, may have taken the wind out of his sails.
"Sam (Zell) is a force of nature, but we still have expectations at times as to what is correct in the workplace," a rep asserted.
The impression one gets? Zell is pretty cheesy, alright; out of line, perhaps.
The staff are wisely establishing a "paper trail".
One writer alleged - "they laughed off" - Zell's lusty remarks. "...our bigger concerns are about jobs," he pointedly added.
Zell obviously expects "the sensualizing up" be reflected in the column inches - and ultimately - to impact the revenue logs, as well.
Otherwise, a handful may be "out of ink" at the Tribune, shown the door.
On the horizon at Zell's Inferno?
Right now, Zell is not impressed with the status quo.
In fact, when a reporter asked the company "fireman" to expound on his ideas about journalism and the view points he sought to put across, he allegedly responded by swearing at the startled innocent.
However, Zell had no qualms putting forth the notion that revenue in the specific area of the "Gentleman's Club" arena, be plumbed with virile vigor.
To add a splash of imagery to the discussion, he allegedly tossed in some slang terms relating to female anatomy, to hammer home the idea.
Well, men are visual, aren't they?
With the trend towards tabloid journalism, and snippets of McNews - USA Today Style - one can only imagine what awaits between the turn of the phrase.
Page 3 girly shots along the lines of the Fleet Street Rags?
You betcha, if it will Zell - er - sell!
