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Sunday, April 3, 2011

Elton John...insults Queen Elizabeth! Saturday Night Live skit shocking & outrageous!









Of late, there has been a glut of media buzz and wild speculation about every delicious detail of the Royal Wedding - with a big thrust on who wangled coveted invites to William & Kate's much-anticipated upcoming nuptials, which lucky designer was selected to fashion the future Princess's wedding frock, what went down at a stag tossed by Prince Harry, you-name-it.

But, with the spectacular social event of the year on the horizon, one has to seriously wonder if Sir Elton John sought - and got - a nod from the Royals (in particular, Queen E 2) before going out on a shaky limb and jeopardizing his ties with the Wales family by participating in a shockingly tasteless skit which took an unkind jab at Queen Elizabeth last night on Saturday Night Live.

I expect the Queen has a good sense of humor, but - in my humble opinion - the writers (and Sir Elton - who appeared to throw caution and all sense of propriety - to the wind) went too far!

The poorly-written - unfunny sketch - was downright mean-spirited and uncalled for when you consider that the Queen never did anything to deserve such a stinging send-up in a gag that left a stink long after the footlights went down on the NBC stage.

For example, at one point, a comic - gussied up to "look" like a dowdy old Monarch, stood like a common street hooker with a drab colorless frock lifted high on the leg.

'She must be the only Queen who wears Ann Taylor,' quipped back Elton - at which point - Prince Phillip was forced to restrain the Queen as she tried to attack him.

If that wasn't bad enough, the characterization was replete with foul-language, which was startling to hear when it fell on the ears.

At one point, Mr. John went off the deep end when he lamented that the Queen was a 'mean old bitch'.

When the subject of the possibility of crooning - Candle in the Wind - at the after-party, the Queen pooh-poohed the notion.

'You know when I see a Candle in the Wind? When I light my farts," she cackled.

The gracious Queen has never given the impression that she has all the manner of a common truck-driver in all the years I've been following her every move as a loyal member of the Commonwealth (I'm Canadian and we love and support the Royal Family) nor has she ever deserved such a raunchy put-down.

If Elton John's invite to the Royal Wedding is revoked, and he's tossed in the dungeon, I'll be applauding on the sidelines.

Instant Karma "Sir" Elton, just ask Yoko Ono!

And, how was your day?

http://www.thetattler.biz





Classy Queen Elizabeth II deserved better!

San Francisco Giants...a shut-out on Dodger turf! Barry Zito must go! Monkey off Cain's back!








After a disastrous two-game loss to the Dodgers on their home turf this past week, the Giants juggled their roster - added a bit of spit and polish to their style - and managed to pulled themselves up by their bootstraps and roar to a stunning victory at Caesar Ravine yesterday afternoon in Los Angeles.

Fans sure got their money's worth!

When the dust settled, it was evident that the Giants still have the spunk - and the God-given stellar talent (instinct, too) - which is the kind of prerequisite needed to scoop up another World Championship title down the long-and-winding road ahead.

Meanwhile, the Dodgers are licking their wounds today, wondering the obvious.

What happened?

Did a mini two-game winning streak instill in 'em a false sense of security (and hope)  - or - did the Giants just play a better ballgame?

As the plays unfolded on the field, it became crystal clear the rag-tag team from the Bay area is a force (fear the beard, dudes!) to still reckon with.

In retrospect?

Tim Lincecum got it right  -when he confidently noted in the humiliating wake of the 1st loss earlier in the week - that it was just "one game".

When the 2nd defeat was about to prove otherwise, heck, the Giants snapped out of the deep funk yesterday with a remarkable come back.

Something tells me the it's going to be tooth-and-nail all-the-way.

Don't know if I am up for the roller-coaster-ride, are you?

Not without a good shot of optimism (and whiskey in my gut) at least.

And, who were the heroes of the day?

The big spotlight fell on Matt Cain, Aubrey Huff, and Freddy Sanchez.

After a long drought, Cain was back in the saddle, stealing thunder from the cocky Dodgers.

"It was definitely nice to get the monkey off my back," he beamed to reporters.

Uh-huh!

"He's back!"

The right-handed pitcher scattered five hits over six innings, struck out three, and didn't allow any self-respecting opponent to even walk.

Aubrey Huff revved up the fans when he drove in three runs (to match 3 of the same by Sanchez).

Manager Bruce Bochy - in the dumper day-before-yesterday, understandably - was upbeat in the wake of Cain's stand-up-and-take notice performance on Dodger turf.

"Matt Cain was outstanding. You could tell he wasn't hesitant on any pitch."

Miguel Tejada contributed two RBIs, which may cause some critics to reconsider an assessment they made a couple of days ago (they lamented he was over-the-hill), when the Giants were slipping-and-sliding in ka-ka.

Tejada was ecstatic over the end scenario.

"We just need somebody to start and then everybody follow. We're all happy today."

So, who is that leader of the pack, if it isn't Tim Lincecum?

McCain?  Wilson?

By the way, to add fuel to scuttlebutt I penned in a prior post, a sports reporter at the locally-based San Francisco Examiner has suggested that it may be time to cut the fat.

With that in mind, and for the overall good of the team, Tim Liotta harped in this morning's edition that it may be time for Barry Zito to go!

Today, that may be evident, if the player with the "fragile psyche" starts ups this afternoon and doesn't deliver.

OMG!

Are his days numbered?

News at 11!

http://www.thetattler.biz





Outstanding pitching a turn-around for Cain!

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Elton John...Hosts Saturday Night Live tonight! Leon Russell album collaboration!






 




When Elton John strolled onto the stage of the Jimmy Fallon show the other night, the reaction from the adoring audience - totally in awe - was heartfelt.

Within minutes of alighting on the podium, fans and guests alike, were on their feet stomping and hollering.

And on the heels of the outpouring of love, there was a standing ovation!

After all, it's not often that a common "Joe" or two - even a quirky talk-show host - weasle their way into the presence of a musical legend like the great Elton John.

In spite all the in-your-face attention, Mr. John (!) was pretty low-key in the aftermath.

And, the celebrated Brit didn't look half-bad in his advancing years, either.

Sir Elton sported a chic well-tailored black suit, which was teamed with an ultramarine dress shirt (open at the collar), with no bling to speak of.

At one point, he treated the audience to an impromptu performance of - "Your Song" - after Fallon determined that was a "favorite" tune he wished he had recorded years ago.

Speaking of albums, Elton is currently in the throes of releasing his 13th LP, which features Leon Russell and T. Bone Burnett (at the helm?).

The collaboration with Russell should come as no surprise to die-hard fans familiar with El's roots (which go way back in the industry).

"The first night I performed in Los Angeles Leon was in the 2nd or third row. I spotted him right away and was nervous. Would he like my material," he wondered to himself.

In fact, the long-haired musical genius was so impressed with Elton, that he took him under his wing and back to New York to perform at the Fillmore, where he was summarily introduced to Bob Dylan.

"Everyone was so great to me when I first arrived in America," the aging Lothario with an eye for good-looking studs fondly recalled.

When Fallon asked how he felt about GLEE featuring his songs on their hit show this past week, he was quick on the uptake, too.

"It is so flattering when people play your music.  I even get excited when I step into an elevator and hear a piece of musak featuring one of my hits."

And, he had a message for up-and-coming bands, who pooh-poohed the notion of having their music showcased on a top-rated comedy-drama like GLEE.

"Lighten up, you as**holes," he screamed at the viewing audience at home, as the audience roared in approval below the footlights.

Is El slowing down a tad?

Just maybe; after all, he confided that he is not one to traipse around town to all the exclusive parties or even try to make "the scene".

"I prefer to stay at home with David (his male lover) and the boys."

Hold on a minute, your naughty folks.

When he says "boys" - the hit-maker doesn't mean "toy-boys" - at all.

No, Sir.

Of course, he is referring to his two adopted sons.

By the way, tonight Sir Elton will be hosting Saturday Night Live, in addition to being the musical guest.

If the promos previewing this past week are any indication, I expect folks should tune in.

The late-night off-the-wall comedy variety show is bound to be a hoot with Elton at the helm!

And, keep your eye out for the documentary on Elton, lensed by Cameron Crowe.

Cheers!

http://www.thetattler.biz/





MySpace friend!

San Francisco International Airport...dazzling sculptures grace Terminal! April 9th unveiling!











When savvy travellers trot into the lobby entrance of the newly-renovated Terminal 2 at the San Francisco International Airport next week, they'll be dazzled when they encounter two 24 x 24 x 16 foot sculptures dangling from the ceiling above.

"The unique pieces by artist Kendall Buster are reminiscent of clouds," one art-lover marvelled.

Magical!

The eye-catching installation is part of a $388 million make-over which will be officially unveiled to the public on April 9th (2011).

The Director of the City's public art purchase program underscored that the exquisite creations are a welcome contribution in light of the fact San Francisco has always been a community rich and vibrant culturally.

The exhibit also includes a glass structure titled - Air Over Under - outside the Airport which acts as a terminal facade.

5 sculptures are intended for the site in all.

American Airlines and Virgin America will set up shop in soothing environs sure to please both the locals and tourists alike.

Art aficionados may arrange for a tour of the sculptures commencing the 9th of April.

INFORMATION

650.352.43431

http://www.thetattler.biz




Dazzling environs of San Francisco Terminal

San Francisco Giants...Tim Lincecum traded? Belt homer dazzles! Losing streak persists!








Last night a local news outlet reported that Tim Lincecum was being traded to the Dodgers!

In response, shocked fans sat on the edge of their seats, as they waited to catch the scoop after the commercial break.

Although the "exclusive" report was being broadcast late in the day, it turned out to be an April Fool's Day joke just the same.

Gotcha!

Some joked - after catching their breath - that after yesterday's sloppy defense (and the victory in favor of the Dodgers on their own turf) that the "freak" was ripe (and ready) to jump ship!

Yup!

The Giants' losing streak hasn't run out of steam yet, as a loss of morale - in the locker room and in the front office - appears to be threatening to wreck havoc in the psyche of the ballplayers (and ultimately) spoil a short at the World Championship.

Most of the fans and sports writers are in agreement.

The party is over for the Giants!

The table was set in one inning yesterday, for instance, but - the once-charismatic boy wonders - were unable to make a meal of it.

Why?

The Giants couldn't get any hits!

Well, with one notable exception, of course.

In one brief shining moment, the spanking-new kid on the block belted a fast ball which sailed over the fence.

That dazzling hit was worth calling home about.

Needless to say, the hitter - Brandon Belt - had his doubts at first.

"It felt like a wall-scraper from where I was," he mused.

When the ball soared above and beyond and guaranteed a homer, Belt confided that there was a surreal aspect to the whole experience which resonated in every fibre of his being on the field.

"It was an unreal feeling, like when you're a kid, and you hit your first home run of your entire life."

Just betcha, there are a few more big hits down the road like that, once Belt's potential is fully realized.

"He's an athlete. But, he's also big and strong," one sports writer excitedly gushed to his side-kick on one sports show.

"That's what it's all about. His mechanics are great, too!"

Curiously, one TV poll conducted last night, voted Tim Lincecum the No. 1 player fans were anxious to catch in action on the field this season.

I expect that in lieu of Belt's dazzling performance last night, he may zoom ahead of the "freak" in that regard soon.

"Great eye and discipline, and he hasn't been rattled by any of the pitchers he's faced so far," raved hitting coach Hensley Meulens.

In spite of the momentary break in the storm clouds hovering over the Giants of late - during the sixth inning - two glaring goofs caused one local San Francisco journalist to refer to the Giants as the "Bad News Bears".

Ouch!

Meanwhile, from all quarters, every delicious - and foul-tasting play (the nasty slip-ups especially) was thoroughly examined with a fine tooth comb.

The laments went something like this.

"Should have."

"Could have."

But, in the final analysis?

"Didn't!"

With a big "D" for defeat!

And, they weren't too kind to Buster, either.

"Posey was having an off night suffering a case of opening season jitters," they sniped sarcastically.

But, one pundit was downright stinging in his critique of Sanchez's performance.

"The good, the bad, and the ugly!"

On the sidelines, even Manager Bruce Bochy - when cornered by a posse of reporters - was a shadow of himself.

A beaten man?

The awkward silences during the course of a press interviews spoke volumes in my estimation.

When a quote was extracted, it turned out to be a downer, go figure!

"We're shooting ourselves in the foot. It's a tough way to lose close ballgames," he summed up wearily.

One seasoned pro noted that if the Giants were going to rely on sharp pitching, they better catch the ball.

Tighten up the gloves, fellas.

And, pull together as a team, pronto!

5 errors in two games at the beginning of the season doesn't bode well for the chumps - um - champs!

See 'ya at the ballpark, eh?



Dodger Stadium

Friday, April 1, 2011

Prince William...stag party a military operation! Shy Royal sips tea from souvenir mug!





 





The normally press-shy Prince William sat casually with a reporter this morning and fielded questions on a myriad of topics much to the surprise of Royal-watchers far-and-wide.

Perhaps - it was the well-received highly-publicized interview featuring a down-to-earth Prince Harry on Network television in recent days - that inspired "Wills" to let down his guard and open up to the insatiable prying press at-long-last.

Who knows?

If anything, the Prince turned out to be quite "common", in some respects.

I mean that in a flattering way, of course.

For the most part, the future King was pretty forthcoming with his carefully-uttered responses, for example.

In fact, in one curious instance, Prince William confirmed that there was a sort-of "cat & mouse" aspect to his relationship with the tabloid gossip rags (although he may not have realized at the time that such a revelation was being offered up in a round-about way).

Indeed!

The Prince admitted that a stag party was not only orchestrated by bro Prince Harry - but was actually tossed this past weekend at a friend's Estate in the country - without anyone being the wiser.

"Yeah, we outfoxed the press," Wills jubilantly informed the interviewer.

And, he proceeded to describe the clandestine event this way.

"It was kind-of-like a military operation," he joked.

The Prince sat casually in uniform with a ubiquitous helicopter framing his solid masculine frame in the background.
Even so, he downplayed his ability to maneuvere the craft, and shrugged off the suggestion that he was a skilled pilot, too.

Modest dude, eh?

If you're not up on the scuttlebutt, you may be surprised to hear that Kate & William reside on an Estate close to the remote base, which suits the couple fine.

Today - Prince Willliam was expecting his grandmother (Queen E 2) to trot by - and take a tour of her son's "workplace".

It's doubtful there will be any bottles of champagne ceremoniously christening any of the fleet's ships, though.

Uh-huh.

Prince William views his position as a soldier as - "just a job" - as does his younger brother Harry.

Kate's fiancee displayed quite a keen sense of humor, too, when unfielded questions came his way.

For example, he sheepishly admitted that fellow soldiers coughed up the funds to purchase a souvenir mug - which is etched with his and Kate's images on its face - which he cheekily sips tea out of daily.

Why?

Because he's a good sport, after all.

A hand-made pillow was also crafted for his princely head.

So, in this instant case, William may not have to worry about an old familiar phrase that has haunted Monarchs for centuries.

"Uneasy lies the head that wears the Crown!"

Prince William doesn't plan to wear a wedding ring, by the way.

Apparently, the simple band is usually crafted from Welsh gold, which is scarce these days.

He was quick to note that Kate may sport one on her dainty finger, however.

Perhaps he might consider stringing a wedding band through a chain on his neck alongside his dog tags?

News at 11!

http://www.thetattler.biz



Prince William sips tea out of similar mug!

San Francisco Giants...sloppy plays! Belt basks in glow! Cocky Posey shot down!





Cocky Posey stumbles?




You know what they say.

"Shit happens!"

Unfortunately, that was the fate that befell the Giants yesterday, as gung-ho sports enthusiasts gazed on in shock and awe from their perches around the country.

Gosh, where have I heard that expression before?

Uh-huh!

The World Champions slipped, and fell from grace (momentarily, in the scheme of things, at least), and ended up soiling their normally-pristine Black & Orange uniforms in the struggle to defend their coveted title.

The Giants were not only off to a poor start (in a game where they suffered embarrassing stumbles) - but, like it or not - managed to set the tone for the upcoming season (judging by laments heard around the country from fans and sports reporters alike at the close of the game).

The general consensus?

Miguel Tejada - at age 36 (soon to turn 37) - is over-the-hill!

Posey was too cocky to recognize the obvious.

The Giants lacked strut and swagger on the field yesterday.

The Giants performance in a nutshell?

Sloppy! Sloppy! Sloppy!

And, if that flack wasn't bad enough for Frisco's celebrated heroes, there were also other stinging assessments floating about.
The Giants can't hit!

One astute observed tired to put some perspective on the opener.

"It was all about the Dodger's winning and not about the Giants losing."

Even so - the Network airwaves were awash with a blow-by-blow account of the rough 'n tumble plays (which cinched it for the Dodgers) with a major focus on the nasty goofs (unforgivable?) that clearly spelled-out pending doom for the Giants in a frightful end scenario.

Most argued that Tim Lincecum pitched well, though.

"The Dodger's pitcher (23-year-old Clayton Kershaw) was just better."

Indeed!

Tim held his ground, in spite of a miserable defense, that continued to plague the team throughout the exciting afternoon match.

"It's just one game," the freak noted calmly for the record. 

"So much emphasis is placed on the opener. Games like this are going to happen."

"There are 106 games to go," Aubrey Huff shrugged seemingly nonplussed, when he was cornered by probing reporters anxious to scoop up every delicious detail.

One player griped about the backlash.

"It's not what you've done for us. But, what have you done for us lately."

A handful of compassionate onlookers attempted to toss the blame on the "twilight" game.

"It's tough for any team to play so late in the day."

On occasion, the shadows appeared to run some interference, though the players never cried-the-blues over the alleged problem caused by the "freak" of nature.

One Dodger fan was adamant about the reasons for the Giants' humbling loss.

"They didn't have a chance. The Dodgers are a better team."

Brandon Belt was a stand-out in his first opener in the big leagues, however.

The kid - who just signed a contract for approximately $414,000.00 - admitted there was a lot of tension to deal with.

"Quite an adrenalin rush," he fessed up, in so many words.

But, the down-to-earth athlete shrugged it off, bottom line.

No problem.

It was a matter of clearing his head and focusing on the game.

The packed stands on his virgin run didn't strike terror in him, that's for sure.

The rookie stood confident at bat and took his best shot when the opportunity arose.

The Dodger's Kershaw - a pal from school - gave kudos.

"He (Belt) has a great eye."

And, it served him well yesterday at Dodger Stadium.

Belt's first hit was an infield single with two outs in the second - which was summarily credited - when the home team failed to make the play on the grounder to first.

When the media swarmed him in the locker room, he casually chewed on tobacco (gum?), and waxed philosophical about what went down.

"Tim was just a hard-luck loser," he stated matter-of-fact.

For the first time - up-close-and-personal - I noticed Belt's full sensual lips and a quiet masculinity that shone through.

Yup!

The 1st baseman has the complete package - enough to thrill fans and win hearts over - alright!

In contrast, Buster Posey faced awkward moments in front of the prying press, who were out for a quote in the aftermath of an alleged slip-up on his end.

Posey snapped a throw that sailed left and shot past Pablo Sandoval allowing a Dodger player to trot to home plate to score the first point for the home team.

Though most thought that Posey's throw was off, Sandoval asserted that was not the case, in fact.

According to the supportive Giant, Kemp ran into his glove as he tried to catch the ball - at which point - the play went awry.

Posey explained it this way.

"The ball was in the dirt. His head was down. I thought there was a play."

Bottom line?

"It was instinctual."

Sports journalists wondered aloud if Posey would be so bold in the future.

At this juncture, the Tom Cruise film - Top Gun - sprang to mind.

In that blockbuster hit, Cruise played a pilot who loses his confidence, when an error in judgment results in the death of a pal in the cockpit.

Will Posey snap back or languish in upcoming games because of deep-rooted doubts?

In the locker-room, his body language spoke volumes. 

For instance - when quizzed by the press - he often looked away, stared at the floor, or self-consciously reached back with one hand and scratched his neck nervously.

Wounded?

Meanwhile, one sports analyst compared the "opener" to the Beatles phenomenon.

"When a new album came out, fans excitedly opened up the LP, and analyzed all the lyrics to uncover their true meaning. It's the same thing here. The Giants are being scrutinized too closely," he concluded.

"But, the Beatles never wrote a bad song," another scoffed!

Meanwhile, there is obvious concern in the front office, especially in lieu of Barry Zito's recent car accident in Los Angeles.

The pitcher was stopped at a red light when he was broadsided at the front passenger side of his Bentley.

The fender-bender resulted in an injury to his neck and shoulder.

"Zito has a fragile psyche. There is always something getting in the way," one seasoned pro argued.

Another, was quick to write Zito off.

"The Giants don't need Barry to win the championship," he quipped.

So, the spotlight turned on Brian Wilson, who showed up in the Bull Pen yesterday.

"He showed a lot of juice," one onlooker noted for the record.

But, one former player cautioned about the perils of heading back to the field, before an oblique muscle is fully healed.

"He may be pushing it."

So, quite a few questions remained unanswered at press time, which warrant a response.

What is the game plan ahead for the Giants (who - like Zito's Bentley - got dinged yesterday)?

By the way, I was predicting a win yesterday for the Giants, because I thought the champs were capable of beating the Dodgers.

However, there is a problem which often surfaces with forecasts that may affect players in one of two ways, naturally.

A "win" prediction may cause the players to go into the match without a proper focus (too confident, they subsequently, end up losing the game) or prone to worry under pressure that they may jinx the outcome.

So, I consulted an "Oracle" I recently stumbled across lately in a book on Buddhist wisdom.

The subject selects a number from 1-100, then reads an appropriate passage, which is divined.

When I meditated on the Giants, and asked for guidance from the Oracle, this was the reply.

Passage No. 20

AFTER THE GREY

When the teeming rain stops, the clear sky is a joy -
Jade-hare moon and gold bird sun slowly, slowly brighten
The tangled times are gone, the joy-time is to come -
And with just one leap you can clear the Dragon Gate again

Prophecies of the Goddess of Compassion

You figure it out!

http://www.thetattler.biz



Belt has keen eye for fast balls!
 
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