Basshunter...DotA video.

Santa...Holiday Humor!

Aaron Eckhart...actors inflict pain for meaty roles!

Reportedly, actor Aaron Eckhart came up with a novel solution for a scripted scene where he was required to demonstrate pain in the groin area.

The thespian allegedly clipped a clothespin on his - um - manhood.

While Eckhart may have had "no reservations" about it - when it comes to the family jewels - I don't take any risks!

Meanwhile, intriguing gossip about Christian Bale wormed its way into the tabloid rags, as well.

At the "Rescue Dawn" screening, the handsome actor firmed up reports that he crashed-dieted on occasion to achieve the weight fluctuations that were a definite prerequisite for a particular role.

The busy star - who was cast in the big screen bio of U.S. Fighter Pilot, Dieter Dengler - is allegedly not comfortable talking about such things for fear it will invariably "take away" from the film project.

Actors have been known to stretch the limits when it comes to preparing for a part.

For Othello, Laurence Olivier apparently underwent a transformation with extensive study and heavy weightlifting in order to get the right bodily form for the "Moor of Venice".

Allegedly, he even bellowed at a herd of cows for an hour to acquire a deep rich voice.

Likewise, in spite of the fact Brad Pitt was blessed with great genes, the sexy icon nonetheless immersed himself in exhausting rounds of mind-boggling physical routines to chisel awesome rippling abs and beauteous physique on glorious display in “Troy" which placed him on a plateau with the very Gods.

But it is not always necessary for an actor to starve, inflict pain on body parts, or venture down such strenuous pathways to achieve such lofty goals.

On most occasions, a trained actor has simply to draw on professional devices or a clever bag of tricks - a finely-tuned accent, irregular gait, calculated slouch in posture, a distinctive mannerism or two - to effect personality traits peculiar to the character.

In Sariana, George Clooney achieved this without effort when he simply packed on a few pounds and used some effective body language to pull off the acting turn of his career.

Indeed, his characterization plausibly evoked the image of a man losing his grip, slipping slowly into desperation and middle-age.

It's not always necessary to pinch your ****s, dear boy.


Jared Leto crash-dieted for role of drug addict in Requiem for a Dream...

Joshu Sasaki Roshi...Zen Master, not!

I was thrilled to encounter a profile of the celebrated Zen Master, Joshu Sasaki Roshi, in the New York Times.

After all, Mr. Roshi is a considered one of the leading "Masters" in Zen Buddhism, today.

Each spring and fall, his followers meet at retreats - dressed in long-flowing robes, striving to attain "emptiness" - and live in the "now".

No mean feat, for a mortal man, in the Western World.

One hundred years old and in full control of his faculties - he is quite possibly one of the leading spiritual teachers in the World - alongside His Holiness the Dalai Lama

Earlier this year, I attended a retreat in San Francisco, founded by another celebrated Master (Shunryu Suzuki) - an authentic - who contributed a lot of insight into the ancient scriptures until he passed into spirit.

As I perused the article, it dredged up my own mystical experiences with a handful of the imposters, now in charge of that Buddhist center in downtown Frisco.

Yes, before I could lament - misguided meditators - I quickly discerned the Buddhist "temple" was overrun with carry-overs from the trippy-hippie age, a mishmash of displaced scary egos, and a handful of odd Zen enthusiasts who wouldn't know a "Master" if he bit them on their stuck-up noses.

When I noticed that the "alleged followers" were bent on mind-boggling, exhausting ritual - and prone to squander the precious sacred teachings in the process - I was inclined to beg the question of the chief honcho in the Buddhist residence.

Why do you bow nine times before the altar?"

"To show our respect," the disciple of the sect haughtily whispered.

"Well, you can do that with one bow," I calmly replied.

"After all," I quickly added, "Buddha was just a man, not a God.

Frankly, I doubted the "great one" would approve of their actions.

As I witnessed them sitting on their high platforms, on a multitude of plush cushions, I recalled that what I scoffed.

"The true Master sits in the lowest place."

Ah, that's when it hit me.

In the New York Times, the reporter noted that Joshu Roshi practised in the manner of the "old school".

For instance, he assigned each student a "Koan".

For example, he gifted the seeker with a baffling question pointing at some ultimate truth like, "What is the sound of one hand clapping?

Later, he allegedlyl met privately with each student four times a day, and offered up a daily lecture (teisho) from a high seat in the center of the Hall.

Yes - by virtue of the Zen teacher's actions - I was able to discern that Roshi is not the "enlightened one" he purports to be.

After all, the true "Master" squats in the lowest place, not on highest.

Funny that!

During the retreat at the Buddhist Temple up north, Master Suzuki (he wrote the best-selling book "Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind") made a revelation to me in a uniquely mystical way.

While sitting comfortably cross-legged in the meditation room one afternoon, a door - previously shut tight - sprang open and swung slowly in my direction.

Then, a voice in spirit, whispered to me at that precise moment.

"The door is open, when you're ready."

Indeed, Suzuki's presence was wandering the solemn joyless halls.

In fact, a curious phenomenon occurred at least several times a day, verifying his displeasure about what was transpiring at the center.

For example - the windows and doors slammed open and shut all hours without warning - and in furious regularity - which was an obvious omen to me.

The priests poohed poohed the idea that it was Suzuki's spirt.

"It was just the wind, " they'd insist as they looked at me askance.

But isn't Buddha also the wind?

The message was crystal clear.

Master Suzuki was angry (!) and unhappy (!) about the way the master disciples were "running" things.

I departed, the wiser - they, the sadder - for having exposed them for who and what they were...a pack of righteous phonies, without souls, caught up in the ritual of "ego", without a clue about the wondrous mysteries of Zen.

They say, when you're ready, the Master will appear.

For me, it was Christ.

For others, it may be Roshi.

If so, the cult is trying to crack the wrong "Koan".

Their spiritual leader is either a false prophet - or has a long journey ahead - to attain Buddahood.

Samira Said...for blog friends overseas!

Beowulf...airbrushed butts and chiselled abs. Adult humor!

Generally, I am not inclined to take in big budget full-length animated features. After three invites to attend a preview of Beowulf over the past few weeks, I finally succumbed.

Essentially, the story is a mythical tale about a King and his subjects in a far-away land, plagued by a monster that terrorizes their quaint mountain village. Beowulf sails into harbor all brawn and guts to purge the tiny Kingdom of the menace because it is his want to do so.

After the beast is destroyed, the mother - a seductress with great mystical powers - tempts the mighty hero with gifts of everlasting life; before any filmgoer in the theatre can whisper - "sold his soul to the devil" - a pact is struck between the two and kept secret from the proud villagers who hail him as a conquering Hero!

The moment the King (played by Anthony Hopkins) lumbers onto the silver screen, the filmmakers hold the audience in their thrall by virtue of the stunning special effects conjured up by the state-of-the art CG imagery.

The concept of live action reference footage providing the skeleton upon which animators build the characters performance is nothing new, according to animation historian Leonard Maltin.

"The first real motion caption occurred when Dave Fleischer put on a clown suit and his brother Max traced his movements one frame at a time in 1915. They patented the device that enabled them to do this and call it rotoscope."

Many of the scenes are hilarious. For example, when the slovenly Monarch slips off his throne to strut and stroke his subjects with thoughtful musings, filmgoers snicker at the smartly theatrical articulated gestures - and wildly chortle- as they witness rolls of fat rise and fall at his waist or catch sight of his whimsical features contorting in odd intriguing ways. In fact, at times the actor's face appears to poke through the exterior features in a liquid jello of sorts.

"The data that drives the face looks like a flapping puppet," the animator notes, "it won't record volume, meaning if the actor squints or purses his lips, it tells you when they did it, but it won't tell you how much they actually moved."

In contrast, the bodies are carved out to perfection depending on plotline twists.

For instance, when Beowulf announces his intention to tackle the task of downing the monster, he notes he'll undertake the challenge naked. After all, the demon has no clothes on, either.

In a flash, he strips off his outer garments at the torso to reveal a buffed bod with fabulous pecs and chiseled abs. Then, in a cat 'n mouse moment, he teasingly half-turns and slips off his trousers to reveal a tight attractive butt which appears to have been "airbrushed" to perfection.

Heh, I yearn for an a** that looks like that!

But, Beowulf's precious manhood remains out of view.

In fact, the filmmakers taunt the filmgoers on occasion.

For instance, after a lout hurls a sword and the razor-sharp tip lands upright in a sturdy oak table - Beowulf strides towards it - the blade subliminally-suggesting the width and breadth of the warrior's steely-hard ****. The audience roars!

In another scene there is a gasp from the audience when Angelina Jolie's character sensually rises up from a calm pool of water to reveal full luscious breasts and an awesome breathtaking nubile frame.

In fact, Ms. Jolie remarked to the press on the heels of the sensation she caused, "I had no idea the imagery would be so real."

Essentially, the film is a piece of eye-catching fluff.

But, there are a couple of morals to the intriguing tale, nonetheless.

For one, a stiff d*** has no conscience.

Two, myths are made of just that, myth...

Screen Actors Guild...warning to membership; reinstatement! (the Inquisition returns)

Galileo faces the Inquisition...


Actors taking the long trek out to Hollywood in search of fame and fortune often have one major hurdle to surmount...securing that elusive Screen Actors Guild card, so they can land work in the industry.

For many years, it was kind-of-like a Catch 22 situation.

For example, an actor was barred from joining SAG unless a job prospect was lined up. And, complicated by the fact, that a performer was required to be in the Union to be considered for a role.

In addition, most agents wouldn't represent an actor until he or she was a bona fide member of the Guild.

Understandably, a performer was inclined to practically jump through hoops, to get gainful employment in Tinsel Town.

So, why would an actor choose to quit the Screen Actors Guild?

For many reasons...maybe a performer was returning to school, or was starting a family, and opted to take a sabbatical from the business for a short duration.

In the alternative, some actors often chose to go on "Financial Core Status". In that event, the performer was only required to pay a portion of their dues; however, in that instance, the right to vote in elections and participate in the daily business of the guild was revoked. Actors often used "core" status to protest when they were unhappy about the political regime (elected officials) or disagreed with Guild policies (in recent years the issue of a merger with AFTRA has been a hotly-debated bone of contention among members, for instance).

Because the Guild must have a solid financial base to run operations and to ensure there are funds on hand in the event of a strike (if there's enough money in the coffers, performers can hold out on the picket line until their demands are met), financial core status has the potential to cripple the union.

Earlier this year, SAG made it tougher to rejoin under new rules adopted by the Union's Board of Directors. The move was particularly aimed at actors who quit SAG to work on non-union jobs in-between union gigs.

Up until the recent past, actors were granted free reign to rejoin the Guild with little ado, provided they paid upfront assessment fees.

According to the new rules, quitting will be considered permanent. And, members can only be reinstated if they undergo a sort-of "litmus test" that involves petitioning a disciplinary committee. The strict policy comes on the heels of concerted efforts by SAG to organize producers who aren't covered under the Guild's jurisdiction.

"Individuals who make the choice to quit the Union cannot expect to be allowed back in without the Union asking some questions about why they quit and what sort of work they were doing," noted Todd Amorde, the Guild's director of organizing.

Personally, I am opposed to the new rules, which amount to coercion and intimidation tactics, in my opinion. In their role as super cop, heading up witch-hunts, SAG Officials have created a working environment that is rife with dread and fear.

However, for what it’s worth, SAG has granted a deadline for SAG Members to reconsider their membership status.

Until December 31st, 2007, members who bowed out for personal reasons (prior to June 13th, 2007), have the opportunity to reinstate after fulfilling the new Screen Actors Guild requirements (interrogation, turning over first born, etc.)

Of course, this does not apply to Members who are on honorable withdrawal (sounds a little like AA, doesn't it?) or on suspended pay status. Nor does the petition process apply to members who lost their guild cards over failure to pay dues.

Direct Policy Questions to Branch office or Guild Headquarters...
(323)549-6019 or (323)549-6026