Arnold Schwarzenegger...acting career on hold! Maria Shriver hires divorce attorney!

In the wake of the scandal which has rocked Hollywood - who knew? - Arnold Schwarzenegger has just announced through his agent that the former Governor has nixed his plans to return to movie acting to deal with some personal issues.

You don't say!

In recent days, Schwarzenegger was also excited about an animated series about to launch - known as the Governator - but inside sources have confided that those plans are on hold at the moment, too.

Meanwhile, word out of Maria Shriver's camp is that the celebrated journalist (a member of the well-known "Royal" Kennedy clan) has signed on a high-powered divorce attorney to represent her interests in what now appears to be a vigorous fight over the couple's assets.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!

In addition, some State Authorities are questioning whether Schwarzenegger used State funds to pay for security details for his "extended" family, while he was Governor of California.

You know what the say.

In the past twenty-four hours the shit has really hit the fan as the dust continues to stir up on the heels of revelations about the love-child scandal now plaguing the Austrian-born actor.

News at 11!

http://www.thetattler.biz





Images circulating Internet in wake of scandal!

Arnold Schwarzenegger...maid's great tats titillated! Pat's entry-level position!

After the initial shock of the revelation that the former Governor fathered a child with his ex-maid at his mansion in Brentwood, the jokes started flying fast-and-furious on the late-night talk-show circuit, tabloid gossip shows like TMZ, and in the gossip rags at the check-out stand at the supermarket.

"Patty was blssed with great "tats" so Arnold must have had a lot of fun playing with those," one irreverent news outlet joked.

Allegedly, the woman in the center of the firestorm was paid $1200 a week to cook, clean, do laundry, and carry out a hand-ful of chores.

Hmmmmm!

What kind of chores?

Reports are filtering out that the woman in question  - Mildred Patricia Baena - had her sights set on the terminator who was easy prey given Schwarzenegger's weakness for women with big knockers and tight attractive asses.

And, you thought all body-builders were gay, eh?

Not!

Allegedly, the macho chauvinist did not learn that the child was his own, until he was a toddler.

After-the-fact, when the information was first revealed to a surprised Arnold, he apparently did the honorable thing and began to pay for the upkeep of the child.

And then some, apparently.

According to the latest news reports, the child's mother is living in the lap of luxury outside of Los Angeles, in an upscale home which boasts several bedrooms and a swimming pool..

One of the many perks of successfully snagging a big-name celebrity!

I guess you could say that "Pat's" job at the Brentwood home was an entry-level position.

Missionary or doggie-style?

Although photographs of the teen born out of wedlock have not been published to protect the privacy of the young man (for once the media has acted tastefully in the wake of a scandal) insiders say that the love child bears a striking resemblance to the Austrian film star.

No word on whether Arnold's out-of-wedlock son also speaks with a heavy European accent.

Now, that would have been a dead give-a-way, alright!

http://www.thetattler.biz






Spoils of out-of-wedlock Motherhood!

Arnold Schwarzenegger...sword play holds sway! When push comes to shove...

My Kingdom for a steely-hard sword!

That Arnold can be a tough negotiator!

Just ask the State Legislators he fought hand-over-fist with during the recent California Budget crisis.

Yup, that one was a squeaker!

After quite a bit of sparring (and fancy footwork) - the cigar-toting muscle-flexing former body-builder - ended up ruling the day, though.

Even still, the Governator revealed bright-and-early today, that he has heavy artillery at-the-ready in the event political foes (feisty constituents, too) push his burly back to the castle wall ever again.

Yup, the yodelling upstart cum-California-glad-handing politician, bragged in a tweet earlier today that the glistening showy blade he once packed in the fantasy feature - "Conan the Barbarian" - is but a few inches - um - away.

Heed the words of Shakespeare, Arnold, who once quilled:

"Keep up your swords for the dew will rust them."

And, be wary of strange bedfellows, too!

http://www.julianayrs.com

Schwarzenegger...naked to the world! Renters & homeowners enraged that tax breaks failed to make cut in State Budget! Arnold must go!

Quite a few renters and homeowners were in a state of shock when they opened their mail boxes this past week and found a curt letter from Sacramento informing them that they would not receive a check for their annual tax break.

According to the communication, Governor Schwarzenegger axed those funds from the State budget for the 2008-2009 fiscal year ahead.

Homeowners and renters are outraged!

Many were counting on those funds to get them through a financial crisis that has been gaining momentum and negatively impacting citizens around the globe.

Unlike George Bush (for once, I say "bless him") who sought an emergency rebate for taxpayers around the country earlier this year, Schwarzenegger essentially thumbed his nose at California voters.

"Let them eat cake," appeared to be his response when he signed the budget into effect last week.

Notwithstanding, many Californians are shaking their heads over the costly waste of Government resource arising from the Governator's refusal to sign into Law a handful of "bills" that were presented to his office last week.

A handful of the measures wormed their way through various levels of government - at which point - they were approved by the Senate.

The whole process was a costly venture footed by the taxpayers of this great state.

In view of the fact a handful of the bills were worthy of his signature, it boggles the mind to think that at a time when fiscal responsibility is of paramount importance in the Government sector, he chose to veto the measures.

All that moolah down the drain!

I was going to jokingly point out that I hoped Arnold's di** was bigger than his brain - for his and Maria's sake - but a glance at the photo above says it all in my estimation.

For the record, informed sources tell me, he's not even a "grower".

Now that he is naked to the world, I think it is high time the voting public sent the dope-smoking cigar-wielding jar-head back to Austria.

Let him yodel, and beat his sagging chest, somewhere else!


Don't Bogart that joint, Arnold...