Julian Ayrs 3rd Annual Worst-Dressed / Best-Dressed Women!

A nod to Mr. Blackwell!

Style, it's that - not the clothes - that make the man or woman!

When a fashionista strolls into a high-profile soiree - it's important that if the casual observer spots a definite "look" pleasing to-the-eye right off-the-bat - that they give the nod when the stylish mission has been accomplished.

There's nothing worse than a man-about-town - or a stylish gal, either - appearing in public like they've just been shoddily-pieced together.

Here is a sampling of folks in the limelight who pulled off the stylish task admirably - and a handful of ne'er-do-well fashion ruffians - who missed the mark by a country-mile!

Ten Worst-Dressed Women

(2010)

Lindsay Lohan

A rehab Queen with a fussy fashion flair - often topped with curious feathery strands of luscious fly-away-hairs - that cry out for ward-robe and make-up handlers to storm in from the sidelines for emergency repairs!

Lohan is capable of transforming a simple cocktail dress into a signature number, though, and often pulls the nifty trick off with little aplomb provided traces of magic dust don't call attention to a habit of the hard-core druggie variety.


Lindsay, rages on!

But, in the final analysis - quite a few of the threads amount to tasteless K-Mart specials - that underscore her penchant for bargain-basement notions that ultimately bind her down.

Diane Keaton

Old-hat Keaton - brimming with stale accessories - continues to flash forward with Woody Allen reminders that spell toxic nostalgic memories of a tired (oh-so-Geritol-laced) yesteryear.


Being as comfortable as an old worn shoe doesn't amount to a hill of has-beens - or even manage to cut a fine swath in the wardrobe finery scheme of things - Diane!


Egads!

Bristol Palin

A pioneer woman (you betcha) attempting to conquer bell-weather trends in a gaggle of dicey silvery fabrics straight from the moonshine shacks of a foreboding "North to Alaska" hell.

Not mucho pot luck, eh Bristol?

The bizarre body-sheath featured above fails to flatter the former ABC Disco Queen's figure (is that what it is?) for a handful of nonsensical reasons!

If 'ya haven't got it, then don't try to flaunt it, darlink!


 

Rihanna

A misfit in a windstorm who can't make up her trendy mind!

The Pop Diva is a riot of jazzy colors and off-the-wall high-tech synthetic fabrics (tisk ! tisk!).

The tiresome - details details details - bog the wannabee Siren down into near-stylish oblivion.

On the way to becoming last year's best flavor???

Mary Tyler Moore

A matronly glance at the past which has succeeded in demonizing a campy potato sack offering while rudely tossed over an out-of-shape body politic.


Oh, Mary!


In the shocking attack on fashion (captured above) - too many wraps and sashes and unsightly giggling gnashes - have ended up hiding once-pretty pair of shapely legs.

Likewise, the little distractions creep over once-perky heavenly boobies with fascination, as slow as Molasses in January!

Joan Rivers

A walking-talking "k-vetching" QVC kiosk ready to explode at the witching hour and devour!


Talk about a carpet-bagger!

Joan, where did you scoop up that flowery number, masquerading as a designer couture frock?


Just maybe, it was a once-glorious table-cloth or left-over curtain, scooped up from a fanciful re-run lifted from the still-hilarious Carol Burnett Variety Show?

Chelsea Lately

The B-list talk-show hostess (without the mostest) touts Madonna hand-me-down bustiers - replete with tacky stressed-out infrastructures - that triumphantly underscore the merits of squirreling away a couture designer gown or two for future red-carpet emergencies (even at the cost of a pretty penny).

What kind of white-trailer-trash are you?

Well - no pulses are racing - honey!

Star Jones

Heh, baby!'

Your persona is about to be shuffled aside by a big "black hole".

OMG!

I'm betting a little moolah (with the emphasis on moo) that it might be "O's" hefty whirl-wind entrance - onto a snazzy competing Cable Network's airwaves - that's about to push 'ya out of the limelight!


Star, you have more chins - and celestial cellulite bodies - than Saturn has stellar heavenly rings or Carter's amassed in little liver pills.

Nikki Blonsky

Deck the halls with a myriad of floating budding beading patterns!


Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!

Is that a night mask at your waist (that you're waiting to slip on) or a belt you're about to maneuver by dumptruck just so - to hide all the flubbery flab- honey bun?


Fashion is capable of being utilitarian, but this takes the cake, I fathom!

Snookie

Snooki reminds me of a rump roast, trussed up, ready to be carved up by a pack of ravenous sex-hungry Jersey macho studs! 

Missionary position, please!


The outfit featured here is not fashion - it's a designer sheet - waiting to happen.

Ten Best-Dressed Women

(2010)

Helen Mirren

Ms. Mirren is risk-taker and a stylist's breath of fresh!


Again and again, the sexy Senior trots down the carpet - continually wowing the envious teaming masses!

Kate Middleton

Though I was inclined to feature Ms. Middleton's "coming out" frock - it occurred to me that I should address a side of Prince William's fiance - that is adventurous and terribly with it.

In the Royal Court, the Royals will be turning their noggins, in wondrous fascination.

Halle Berry

The former "Bond" girl is a knock-out - even with next to nothing on her flawless appealing skin - for starters!

Halle has a grab-bag of fashion tricks sure to keep her on top.

Meanwhile the competition on the carpet falls down and goes boom.

They should take some pointers!

Carey Mulligan

Sweet, elegant, and chic - the pretty Brit knows how to turn herself out in the quick - and snap up a bevy of prized Statuettes in the aftermath as she catches her glorious sexy breath!

Michelle Obama

Golly, Michelle Obama underscores that she really "cleans up" nice! 

Though, often inclined to sport outfits according to formal (or ceremonial occasions), sometimes Obama's better-half takes a splash - and in the process - makes my fellow Americans sit up and take notice.

Kirsten Dundst

All the curves and allure of a legendary siren underscore why the tony elite continue to do Ms. Dundst' bidding.

Nonetheless, Kirsten slyly manages to fit right in on the red carpet - at the Golden Globes, the Oscars, or a premiere movie opening - without appearing too showy or pushy!

Natalie Portman

"The Black Swan" opened doors wide - and now the high-profile Portman - is the center of a Hollywood whirlwind!

On the carpet or off, Natalie holds her own with the best of 'em.

Expect she'll be turning out in some nifty "outfits" for baby that will cause a heady new trend!

Liza Minnelli

A feminine fashion approach is best for Liza - boas that don't constrict, and feathers that soften the look of her skin - are best choices.


A striking persona who dazzles when she saunters into a soiree.


Talk about stealing the limelight! 

Salma Hayek

Salma is able to trade off her dynamite "sensual appeal" in high-fashion knock-outs (couture gowns) with elegant slip chic elegant ease.


Ah, she exalts scintillating eye-catching flourishes. that underscore her Divine shapely figure.

Taylor Swift

"You get me," Ms. Swift has oft screamed from the stage

Uh-huh!

The Country & Western Beauty is a fashion plate (darlings) - capable of charming from the get-go - when she strolls out on the stage and strikes up a catchy musical or fashion chord.

Special Category

Best Dressed / Non -Fashion Statement

Lady Gaga

Environmental statements, Monster exaltations, and ballsy sensations all rolled-into one!

 

In the surprise end scenario, Lady Gaga's wild showy bark, underscores she's truly a one-of-a-kind Yankee-Doodle Darling.

Legends are made of these, poker face!

http://www.thetattler.biz

Julian Ayrs 2nd Annual Worst (& Best) Dressed Women! Cher, Sarah Palin, and Lady Gaga in special category...

Mr. Blackwell infamous for fashion haikus

Last year, when Obama was triapsing about on the campaign trail - vigorously purusing the role of Commander-in-Chief - I penned a post with a handful of fashion tips so the upstart from Chicago would cut a fine sartorial path for potential supporters.

Post:  06/05/08

http://ijulian.blogspot.com/2008/06/barack-obamafashion-tips-for-stylish.html

A blogger stumbled across the fahion spread, and hinted to his readers, that I just might be the next fashion wit, Mr. Blackwell.

Blackwell - formerly a well-respected fashion designer - was King of the Haiku quips - so when he passed to spirit last year there was a cavernous tongue-in-check void to fill.

So, I took up the delightful task, and unveiled my 1st Annual Worst & Best-Dressed lists for Women and Men at the end of the year.

Post:  12/28/08

http://ijulian.blogspot.com/2008/12/10-worst-dressed-listcher-oprah-and.html


Post:  01/31/09

http://ijulian.blogspot.com/2009/01/julian-ayrs-1st-annual-worst-dressed.html

Can it really be a year later since the first platform shoe dropped with a thud?

So, now, I tout my 2nd Annual Worst & Best-Dressed list put the spotlight on the ladies, first.

Tomorrow, the 2nd Annual Best & Worst-Dressed list will be published for the man-about-town who curried favor - then again  - just maybe did not!

2nd Annual Best & Worst Dressed Women's list

Angelina Jolie

One of the rare exoic females of the species capable of stutting her stuff  in a body-fitting sheath that smacks of sensuality and undisputed tantalizing fashion appeal!

The undestanted earrings spark up the outfit - and ultimately - add a  touch of understated elegance.

Jolie, is simply a dazzling gem!

Bai Ling

I confess, I have a soft spot in my heart - and fashion musings - for Ms. Ling.

Over the past year, we crossed paths on several auspicious occasions, and became fast friends.

The stunning beauty is a chic clotheshorse - both on the gangway - and off.

In fact, when the talented actress strides out on a press junket to promote a film, the paparazzi go wild;  after all, Bai Ling is an intriging subject who never disappoints in eye-catching designer gowns and cocktail frocks  that underscore her unique signature style and flair for the exotic and unusual.

Sarah Ferguson

In her glory days as the Duchess of York, Miss Ferguson was inclined to sashay over-the-top, all decked out in floppy frothy oversized hats (Hedda Hopper would be proud ) and gowns bogged down with stuffy-old bows and wings and all-manner-of fashion flourishes that went bump in the night.

Ghastly, for the most part.

But, in recent years, the Duchess has nurtured into stylish sensiblity that speaks volumes for her.

At the recent screening of  "Young Victoria" (Producer), I got an up-close personal gander at the perky redhead, who was not only ravishing - but correctly turned out, too - for the occasion.

Hats off to weight-watchers for helping her turn the fashionista corner!

Michelle Obama

Over the past year, 1st Lady Michelle Obma demonstrated a keen fashion sense - especially in respect to the appropriateness of an outfit - while out on public jaunts and on kick-back occasions at home at the White House while holding court.

Oftentimes, casual ensembles were spruced up with pastels,  or subtle fashion flourishes.

At high-profile events, Obama's better-half displayed a flair for a defining look, which was never over-the-top or in your face.

A clothes-horse along the lines of Jackie-O  (in the making).

Barbara Walters

Although the feisty gal - with the gift of gab - is getting on in years,  Walters  doesn't intend to get stuffy, dated, or become an old stick-in-the-mud.

On the recent 10 most -fascinating special, for instance, the likeable hostess-with-the-mostest was gussied up in a tasteful body-fitting gown - and subtle accessories - which not only suited her distinctive facial features but trimmed years off her age.

Always keen on what is socially and politically correct, Walters manages to saunter in-and-of the spotlight in a wardrobe that underscores that a middle-aged woman has many fashion choices given a little thought.

Miley Cyrus

The headlines screamed that the young songbird's  pretty cocktail dress plunged a lttle too low, when she appeared for an audience,  with Queen Elizabeth at a tony Royal Performance.

 Hooey.

The charismatic young beauty was not only a knock-out, but got the nod from this discerning fashionista  on his lofty perch in WeHo.

In fact, in recent days, Miley has been coming into her own in a trend-setting sense, with a maturer style that - ultimately - belies her critics.

It will be curious to see what she conjures up next for red carpet soirees in the future.

Julia Roberts

A perennial favorite who has experienced her share of fashion victimitis over the years, actress Julia Roberts has carved a niche for herself as the down-to-earth girl-next-door who cleans up nicely thank-you very much.

On top of the latest fashion trends, the award-winning actress is inclined to take a stab at fresh couture offerings now and then.

To  many, Ms.Roberts is worth her weight in gold when it comes to bellweather trends and fashion influence.

And, therefore, treads lightly.

She's comfortale and pretty in the classy outfit pictured here, but racey numbers suit her, too.

As versatile on the fashion trail as she is up on the big screen.

Emily Blunt

A fresh-faced beauty - just as comfortable in her skin - when exquisitely trussed up in period wardrobe (Young Victoria) or squeezed into a body-hugging understated cocktail dress sparked up with a dash of stardust.

Pay attention to her lightly-applied make-up, gals, which conjures up a look au naturel that's difficult to hold a candle to.

A star in the galaxy worth keeping an eye on for sure!

Paris Hilton

Last year, the Beverly Hills dish - with undeniable sex appeal - ended up on the worst-dressed list becasue of ensemble choices that underscored she was prone to become a fashion victim ad nauseam..

At the recent premiere of her documentary "Paris" - up-close-and-personal - I was literally dazzled by her charm, elegance, and stand-out style.

You've come a long way, baby!

Katie Couric

Oh, such a darling!

Over the years, Katie has continued to smile sweetly, as network brass transformed her on-camera image from girl-next-door, to conservative newsie and onward to trusted night anchor.

During those topsy-turvey days of bending, shaping, and primping, American TV viewers gobbled her up.

Would the real Katie  step forward, please!

Something tells me, the outfit pictured here, is more along the lines of her own fashion taste; if so, get out the applause soundtrack,

After all, I'm always partial to chic black party dresses and pearls.

But Katie, dear, you need a little coaching with the hands

Ten Worst-Dressed Women

(would you bed any of these inductees)

Amy Winehouse

Is that a banana in your shorts, Amy, or are you just happy to see us?

Fashionista impressions?

The pop star couldn't compete with a West Hollywood Drag Queen on Karaoke night, even after two-or-three drinkie-poohs too many!

Toss that broad some spare change, will 'ya, so she can spring for a sex change!

Cher

Bound and chained more-often-than-not, all the Pop Diva needs is a oil-soaked gag, to deliver up the perfect scintillating image of a slave-mate!

You'd think Cher - who usually pays a lot of attention to Details! Details! Details - would have at least swept up the pube shavings (rear right) before posing for the alluring publicity still.

If a gaggle of fans are lucky, she'll auction 'em off at Caesar's next opening night.

La Toya Jackson

A booby-trap waiting to happen!

And, the perfect poster chick, to warn about the perils of botched botox injections.

Queen Latifa

The porky Diva is a role model for all hefty African-American women with an unwitting taste for the tacky!

In one fell swoop, Latifa underscores a myriad of fashion debacles hot-to-trot single mammas  (packing twenty pounds too many) should avoid to ward off nick-names like "old lard ass" (etc. etc. etc.)

Bottom line?

The popular torch-singer is better off slipping into a free-flowing Kaftan, than the stringy garb cutting into the folds of fat (which don't flatter and tend to contrict her).

Sarah Palin

Palin, fashion innovator (oh, yeah!) first and foremost (unless the clothes are rented by the Republicans)  unveils a clever twist on a once-charming fashion accessory - known to college goodie two-shoes - as the "fur muff"

In the great white north, Palin is inclined to raucously shout out:

Fur's up!

If you pry the former ice Queen for the fashion specifics, she'll sure as heck give 'ya a scrunched up wink, and proudly note matter-of-fact: for the record, that she killed the dumb fur-bearing  with her own handsanimal while donning her Sunday best on the way to Church.

Amen!

Wanda Sykes

Comedian Wanda Sykes is quick on the uptake with rat-a-tat rapid-fire jokes that tickle the funny bone, alright.

But, she's more of a hoot to take a gander at!

In a nutshell, the comic is a ghastly mirror-image of an ovestuffed pheasant with ubiquitous fringe on the top

Don't ruffle her ragged feathers, or she'll make you the butt of a joke in a punch-line, for starters.

Being the butt of talk-show fodde, is in Vogue, though.

Totally, dudes!

Meryl Streep

Obviously, Ms. Streep didn't nab this coveted award for any innate sense of style!

After all, the talented actress is basically a mish-mash of stylish after-rthoughts that end up crying out for sympathy (no encore, please).

Meryl, you're over-the-hill, out-of-the fashion loop, and gone-to-seed.!

And, the baubbles?

Toss 'em before swine

No problem!

Oprah Winfrey

A smorgasbord of fashion flourish disasters!

Having gobbled up too much of each, it's obvious, the tell-tale signs of indigestion (and our indignation) has set in.

Style misfires - scooped neck, gaudy buckle, spitting fabric belt - amount to a belly-flop (not the divine swang song) Ms. Piggy was reaching for.

A tidal wave of frump gone awry and on its way to cable hell (and back?).

Good riddance.

Leslie Stahl

A pretty woman plagued by boyish tendencies.

Is Stahl off to audition for the role of a bobbsy-twin playing opposite TV lesbo, Ellen?

Or is she just smitten with the perky talk show host's waif-like persona?

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, they say.

Thin-legged jeans which accent skinny gams, out-of-place T-shirts, and manish leather jackets in off-color shades of brown, also accentuate the obvious.

Stahl doesn't have the Hepburn pannache (or style DNA) to pull it all off.

Best-Worst Dressed Woman

Lady Gaga

Pop Diva alights in a spanking new category

Sizzling stage performer, Lady Gaga, tends to be an eclectic mix-and-match hodge-podge of eye-catching fabrics crafted into show-shopping get-ups that  drum up wild roars from the crowd.

Even still, she usually managess to hit a top that usually strikes a balance, which resonates with her die-hard fans and Pop Music afficianados.!

The mercurial Diva - with a penchant for chapeaus of the wild and whoolly variety - on occasion saunters into a fashion faux pas (or two) - like the night she squeaked by during the occasion of her audience with the Queen of England.

Naughty, yes!

But, endearing, too.

A likely candidate to mug for "No Excuses" commercials, eh?

Her fashion sense (and scintillating style) is all over the map, though  - which is the major crux of the dilemma for fashionistas pulse-takers who strive to slot their subjects into neat & ttidy packages for easy consumption.

For this reason, and with her stage persona at the forefront of my style-concious sensibilities, I crown her Best-Dressed Worst-dressed because she is a stand alone fashion wonder which will continue to rage on amidst thunderous applause for decades to come.

http://www.julianayrs.com

Elaine Wynn...Vegas Royalty to divorce! News boosts blog hits on the town's Hostess with mostest...

Steve & Elaine Wynn are going for an "Encore".



Yup, the much-married childhood sweethearts, will call it quits once again.



The power couple - oft referred to as Vegas Royalty - first tied the knot way back in 1963.



Then, divorced Vegas-style in 1986.



But, the unpredictable winsome two-some took vows for a second time in 1991.



The second time around must have been a charm!



On the heels of "I do", Elaine not only became active in the family business, but a regular scene-stealer on the Las Vegas charity and social circuit.



In cozier days, dotting husband Steve lavished extravagant gifts on the object of his affection.



On one occasion, for instance, the Hotelier surprised the former beauty Queen with the deed to the Desert Inn Hotel!



Mr. Wynn (who is Chief Executive officer of the The Las Vegas-based casino company) reported $210.2 million in net income for 2008.



And, Elaine Wynn (66) is a director on the company's board.



To prevent a crush of nosey newsies from thumbing through the dirty linen, the Judge presiding over the proceedings was inclined to seal all confidential court documents on file.



Hence, curious onlookers have been unable to ascertain who is divorcing who, and why!



Was the split amicable, or is there an iron-clad prenuptial agreement lurking in the vault?



According to data compiled from Securities and Exchange Commission documents, Steve and Elaine each own approximately 24 million shares in Wynn Resorts.



Their stakes were worth about $468 million on Tuesday when the bell rang at the close of the markets.



If you recall, Elaine Wynn graced my 10 Best-Dressed Women's list for 2008.



Post: 12/31/08

http://ijulian.blogspot.com/2008/12/10-worst-dressed-listcher-oprah-and.html

In my estimation, her status in the realms of the fashion elite now (even if I do say so myself) certainly calls for special consideration by the Judge which should equate to $$$.



After all, now that Elaine has been crowned Best-Dressed, she has an image to uphold and maintain - not only in the public eye - but amid the horsey-set she rides astride of.



Steve, don't be stingy, the lady deserves the best!



And, how was your week?

http://www.julianayrs.com