Hamburger Haven...in WeHo serves meager portions! Cheap bastards...

Whenver I am in the mood for french fries on the strip, I usually stroll into the Hamburger Haven at Santa Monica Blvd & Robertson to snatch up an order which I quickly sprinkle which a generous dash of salt and pepper with a dollop of ketchup on the side for dipping into.

One of the main reasons folks in the neighborhood drop in there is because the management tends to be quite generous with the portions.

And, the items on the menu usually satiate the craving for a bit of junkfood (which isn't going to kill  'ya in small doses, after all).

Needless to say, today I was a little shocked when the cook behind the counter handed me a serving which was so meager in size, it was laughable.

Has the manager decided to put all his customers on a diet?

Or, has the cost of potatoes gone up so drastically, that he has been forced to cheat his regulars (and whatever sucker happens to walk through the door unwittingly?).

Granted - he may have saved a few potatoes today - but because of the el-cheapo maneuver he lost a regular customer in the process.

At this juncture, it is doubtful I'll recommend the joint to friends - especially during snack-time on weekends - before bolting across the steet to party-hearty at Here Lounge or the Abbey.

Cheap bastards!

http://www.julianayrs.com

Cannes Film Festival...snobs turn up noses at bloggers! French merde!

Gauche promotion that is true Cannes!

Pregnant pauses!

In spite of a downturn in the economy in recent months, a handful of bloggers have been stashing away cash in order to rustle up airfare and Hotel accommodation, with the aim of attending the prestigious Cannes Film Festival in May (2009).

If this excited wave of Internet Journalists expect to trot the red carpet, interview celebs amid the glitz and glamour of the Internet Jet Set - or even rub shoulders with the tony elite in Southern France - they may be disappointed when they arrive at the pearly gates!

Undoubtedly, the party crashers will be waved away by a snooty Official attired a lot like a stuffy maitre d' at a 3 Star restaurant.

Yes, a few Bloggers and Internet Journalists have grumbled about the fact Festival Officials gave them the-run-around when they applied for press credentials for the much-ballyhooed event.

"How many unique impressions does your site get a month?" one staffer sniffed.

In addition, the status of the publication writers were in the employ of, was of utmost importance to the phony-baloney snots.

"Please provide the site address for the head office of your publication on the Internet."

If the applicant's site was listed under the auspices of a web site such as technorati, blogspot, or - God forbid - wordpress, they were given the old heave-ho post haste.

"There is such a demand for the passes that we can only grant them to a select few."

Of course, reporters from the New York Times, a major Television Network, or journalists penning copy for a U.S. publication with subscriptions tallies that stagger the imagination, are given carte blanche!

It all boils down to numbers, maximum coverage, and a big bucks audience.

Normally, just prior to the big launch in Cannes each dazzling new season, bloggers and Internet journalists alike are inclined to publish a raft of gushing press clips, with a big thrust on celebs that plan to bask in the glow of the spotlight, award-winning films to grace the French Cinema screens, in tandem with a ton of delicious titillating gossip about the party circuit, fashion scene, who's screwing who, and that sort-of-thing.

Yes, Internet writers are a force to contend with on these shores and on those abroad, no question.

What if the blogosphere militia left the Cannes Film Festival out in the cold this year, if only to make the point?

Would the frogs do a sudden about-face and invite bloggers to their murky little lily pond next year?

I, for one, am not going to pen any post on the Cannes Film Festival hereinafter, nor do I intend to promote their overrated festival (which ranks a big zero in my eyes, all things considered, on the heels of the aforementioned fiasco).

Frankly, I've had enough of "Boutique" films rife with painstakingly long pauses, sketchy subtitles that beg interpretation, and gobs of butter masquerading as "Art" to intentionally fu** the filmgoer up the a**.

In the alternative, I plan to rent a DVD or two, hop into bed with a bevy of fluffy pillows courtesy of Martha Stewart, and wash down a plateful of scrumptious freedom fries with a goblet or two of vintage wine from the Napa Valley.

Paris (Nevada) even looks more inviting these days!

http://www.julianayrs.com

Blog...published in foreign languages. How does "Tattler" translate?

Just recently it came to my attention that "The Tattler" is being read in German, Italian, French, Spanish - and possibly - Japanese.

And - who knows - perhaps in a smidgen of computer-speak, too.


So, I have paused to consider whether the blog musings translate well.

Because I am inclined to use a lot of slang in my posts - I wonder - does the stilted prose cause some consternation to newbies overseas?

Then, there are those fu**king fleeting expletives. Is it just an American phenomenon, or do censors across the pond have to deal with naughty words in far-a-way mystical lands like they do in the puritanical States?

I tend towards self-censorship out-of-courtesy to my Christian readers. But, I am curious to know if foreign readers find the asterisks dotting the literary landscape humorous like readers on these shores do. Or, just plain baffling?

As to the windbag material on my blog!

Well, I endeavour to avoid being too local.

As George Bush would say, "I try to be Universal". In appeal, at least.

So, I tend to toss in a few candid shots of celebrities here and there to amuse, then guide the unsuspecting down the garden path as best I know how.

Occasionally, I'll feature a foreign film like - "The Live of Others" - to reveal my strident West Coast intellectual side. Or, report on the celebrity sighting of a respected European actress - like Nastassja Kinski - to butter 'em up a little.

And, if a hearty few manage to maneuver through all the landmines in my prose, there is a definite upside. They'll be privy to a bird's-eye view of the topsy-turvy 2008 Presidential Election Race. A bit skewered, I confess.

But, what good is a blog, if you can't wield your elusive power now and then?

However, now I am facing a new dilemma.

Some posts are garnering "comments" from my fast friends on far shores.

But, frankly my dears, it's all Greek to me.

I am inclined to just "publish" the scribbles without deciphering as a courtesy to web surfers who diligently traversed miles of data from beyond to peruse me.

But, what if the message - unbeknowst to me - flippantly laments:

"Fu** you!"

Is there a universal response that says "same to you" succinctly?