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Showing posts with label Tattler. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tattler. Show all posts

Friday, June 10, 2011

School's out for Summer!...Childhood Memories of Happy Hollow! Ontario!







When a local news anchor's co-host ceremoniously announced yesterday afternoon that school was out for summer, the dude was beside himself over the prospect.

"OMG," he lamented right-off-the-bat, to all within earshot.

"Now, when I zip over to the local pool to swim my daily laps, I am going to have to deal with all those screaming kids," he lamented in so many words!

His gal pal chortled in response, as she noted with a touch of glee in her voice, that he was just going to have to "deal with it".

"Well, as long as they stay out of my lap lane," he groused, before they signed off.

The whole drama that unfolded triggered memories of my own youth.

When I resided just outside of Oshawa (Ontario) when I was about eleven or twelve years old, all the local kids would sprint down to a natural pond (that grew out of a lazy little creek that ebbed and flowed in the nearby woods) at the height of the summer season.

The kids appropriately nick-named the quaint little swimming hole "Happy Hollow".

Whenever I get nostalgic for the past, that one memory looms large in my mind, for sure!

Oh, the sweet bird of youth!

http://www.thetattler.biz/

Friday, December 4, 2009

Transylmania...blood-sucking vampires sweep into theatres today! Give it the old college try...




I was blessed with an invite (from the Dark Lord, no doubt)  to catch Transylmania at a private screening the other night.

Alas, due to a scheduling conflict, it was a toss up between "T" Vampire horror or "Young Victoria" romance and high drama in jolly Old England across the big pond (circa 1800's).

Sentimental gushing fool that I am - a Canuck loyal to the Royals (when I was a mere lad of about eleven years of age I actually waved to the Queen (E II) & Prince Phillip when the staid couple cruised by in their elegant Rolls Royce in the downtown streets of Toronto a few decades ago) - I opted for the visually-stunning period piece.

But, Transylmania has just opened in theatres around the country today, so I expect I'll slip into the horror-genre bill-of-fare one day soon to wallow in all the gorey mayhem.

In a nutshell, Transylmania is about a motley group of college students who embark on the wildest, sexiest, most outrageous semester abroad ever at Razvan University.

Located deep in the heart of the “cursed land” of Transylmania in a centuries-old castle, Razvan isn’t your typical institution of higher learning.

Indeed!

Leather-clad professors in chic black, a three-foot tall Dean, classes in crucifix weddings, and topless vampiresses lurking in shadowy corners are sure to titillate even the most sensible hard-nosed browners on campus (and elswhere).

See 'ya there!



Classic Vampire film!




Monday, October 6, 2008

Sparky the Wonder fish...delightful Children's Book by Gillian Lee Hutshing!


It's always a joy to stumble across a magical book that touches you.

Such was the case when I came across "Sparky the Wonder Fish" at the recent Book Fair in West Hollywood.

Sparky is apparently a true story about a little girl who managed to save a tiny feeder fish from becoming a scrumptious appetizer for six ferocious Oscar fish.

The soft-cover book and its enchanting illustrations are presented in a colorful eye-catching palette of - vivid blues, spritely oranges and golden tones - sure to captivate any young toddler.


Likewise, the beautifully-crafted book, is capable of nabbing the attention of adults who are kids at heart, like moi!

Inside there are also catchy rhymes for the kids to twist their tongues on!

Underneath it all, there is a warm message that truly resonates.

Gillian Lee Hutshing was raised in the picturesque seaside town of San Diego to the south.

Ms. Hutching attended the University of California (Davis).

Professionally, the creative gal has worked as a feature film editor in Los Angeles, alongside dynamic directors such as Ridley Scott, Peter Weir, and Kevin Costner.

Gillian Lee Hutshing has designed an interactive website as a companion to the children's book.

Visitors may download a sparky flyer and coloring page for free at the site for the kids to color in with their crayolas at home.

In addition - orders may be placed for the reasonably-priced book - by clicking on the appropriate link.

Surf over there now and be ready to lose yourself in a sea of "Sparky" love!

www.GillianLeeHutshing.com

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Josh Groban...song stylings need more passion!


In the "overrated" section of the LA TIMES which appears in the weekend edition of the daily paper, writers were inclined to rate Josh Groban's rendition of a handful of theme songs he warbled on the 60th Annual Emmy Awards show, as somewhat "cheesy".

Not terribly off the mark.

To many, he is a bit of a God in the musical arena, though.

True, many of his fans are turned on by the beautiful timber of his voice.

And, there's no denying there is a distinctive resonance, that tends to cause the notes to fall blissfully upon the ear.

But, for me, Groban's voice sounds too "trained".

If the handsome crooner would let go of the rigid musical foundation he builds his song stylings on - and simply sing from the heart - his touch would be far more reaching.

Give it a shot, Josh.

You may end up a better singer for having taken the musical risk!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Werner Herzog...attends screening of "Encounters". Nicholas Cage's Bad "A**" Lieutenant in the can!


"To bore the audience for a second is a sin," director Werner Herzog warned a rapt audience last night at a screening of the enlightening documentary, "Encounters at the end of the World."

The respected filmmaker was in high spirits.

With great satisfaction, Herzog announced that his latest film starring Nicholas Cage - shot in New Orleans over the past eight weeks - was now in the can.

"The Bad 'Ass' Lieutenant, I think that's what it will end up being titled," he laughed wickedly."

The project was a bit of a departure for the seasoned pro.

His approach to shooting was quite economical, after all.

"There weren't a lot of wide shots, long shots, panning in, that sort-of-thing."

"It's highly stylized."

At this juncture, the versatile filmmaker offered up a word of encouragement for young filmmakers in the audience.

"My last project had a two-man crew. Just a cinematographer and a sound man. So, you don't need a lot, 'ya know."

Then, out-of-the-blue, Herzog surprised a handful of folks when he made the bold-faced statement that Los Angeles is the most cultured place in the United States.

"More than New York," he added quite emphatically.

Well, that's a first.

Maybe, that's why ticket sales were so brisk at the theatre on a Wednesday night!

In fact, fill buffs patiently waited (for about a half-an-hour or so) in a long line that snaked down the street, with the hope of exchanging a few words with a director they obviously admired.

Mr. Herzog did not disappoint in that regard.

The affable down-to-earth spinner-of-tales stayed long after the screening to sign autographs and engage in a bit of idle chit-chat with the filmgoers.

An in-depth Q & A session prompted some meaningful dialogue, too.

"You use a lot of humor in your films. But, you are not often given credit for that. Do you feel it is important to poke fun at things," one young man was inclined to ask the film icon.


Herzog chuckled - then, without skipping a beat - thanked the lad for that.

"I'm fortified with enough philosophy that I can be funny now and then," he joked.



A bit of the industry chatter was amusing, too.

For one key scene in the "Bad Lieutenant" Herzog facilitated state-of-the-art camera equipment designed to capture unique effects.

"I used a fibre optic lens about the size of a pin head to shoot close-up on two iguanas in the foreground. Because of the way they were framed, the lizards ended up looking like Dinosaurs. Nicholas, on the other hand,looked like a miniature man in the background. The effect is great. You'll love the shot," he excitedly assured the mostly thirty-something crowd.

"At times the film is so excessively dark, it makes you want to cringe and laugh," he cackled.

"Let's say, it's a secret comedy."


Although the middle-aged auteur wasn't sure how the scripted material was going to render itself on celluloid - he pointed out that once Nicholas Cage began to inhabit his role - the natural flow of the material became fully realized.

Apparently, Cage does a bang-up job in the role.


Herzog asserted that he does his homework, too.

He noted that when Billy Wilder shot "Some Like it Hot" - the legendary director timed the dialogue - to ensure that a punchline was never lost amid the tail end of laughter from a previous joke.

Herzog followed these guidelines in the "Lieutenant".

There were many surprises in - "Encounters at the end of the World" - too.

The documentarian focused his lens on life at the bottom of the globe and research being conducted there.

"As he journeys to the South Pole, which is as far as you can get from everywhere, Werner Herzog also journeys to the prospect of man's oblivion," astutely noted Roger Ebert.

Initially, Herzog thought permission to shoot at the high-security McMurdo Research Station in the Antarctica, was beyond his reach.

However, scientists on assignment at the facility familiar with the director's stellar reputation (and wise to his projects about Penguins!) urged the curious probing filmmaker to apply for a grant.

Since his projects would never be construed as - "pure documentaries" (as he demurely put it) or legitimate "Science Films" - he was doubtful about the prospects.

With a little arm twisting, though, Herzog submitted what he laughingly referred to as a "wild" proposal for a grant.

When the grant was approved, he reeled in shock!

The visionary artist proceeded to head south and capture spell-binding footage of seals cavorting beneath the surface of the ice, among other things.

There was one big disappointment, though.

The ever-curious Herzog had to rely on others to shoot the mysterious underwater worlds he pined to lens himself because he did not have the credentials to carry out the adventurous task first hand.

"You need at least six years of diving experience," he noted sadly.

"I would have traded ten years of my life to have been able to dive in to the dark icy waters and capture the footage on film myself."

There are a number of humorous moments in the documentary, too.

At one point, the film crew trotted out to a ridge inhabited by quirky penguins, where they engaged in a spirited conversation with a scientist who had researched the habits of the black & white creatures for the past twenty years.

"Are there any gay penguins?" Herzog asked the scientist point blank.

The scientist - who was obviously taken aback by the unexpected question - paused for a moment to collect himself; then, cautiously replied.

"Well, there are misidentities."

Huh?

When the remark didn't appear to set just right, he slowly elaborated.

"Well, I have seen triangular relationships.

By that, he meant trysts that consisted of two males and one female in the scenario.

Then, as he got into the spirit of the conversation, he confessed there may be a bit of prostitution going down in the penguin community, too.

For example, an alert female may notice that a lone male has lots of rocks squirreled away.

So, the nervy creature initially saunters over to the male nest with the intention of scoffing up one or two.

"The female ends up being submissive to the male. But, the main purpose of the interaction, was to get the rocks she needed for her nest."

Fascinating stuff!

"Encounters" also does a reveal on a handful of the workers Herzog crossed paths with on his own spiritual quest.

"I did not want to approach the talks like they were TV interviews. I wanted the subjects to discuss their thoughts, their hopes, and their dreams naturally."

On those occasions, he treaded lightly.

"You must be able to instinctively establish a rapport quickly. It's important to be able to read into a man's heart."

In "Encounters", he accomplished that admirably.

And, in the process, revealed his own.

An Ingrid Bergman quotes appears to be appropriate here.

"No form of art goes beyond ordinary consciousness as film does, straight to our emotions, deep into the twilight of the soul."



Bad Boy Val Kilmer also stars in "Bad"...

Monday, August 18, 2008

Bill Plaschke...stolen ideas an embarassment to News Organization!

Plaschke inspired by intellectual property of others?


Today, one of the top news organizations in the country, brought attention to a notice posted on April 1st (2008) which announced that Bill Plaschke - a journalist at the Los Angeles Times - got the nod for sports-column writing.

Apparently, Plaschke finished ahead of "The Oregonian's" John Canzano, the "Boston Globe's" Dan Shaughnessy, the "Kansas City Star's" Jason Whitlock and the "Washington Post's" Mike Wise.

On the heels of the acknowledgement, Mr. Plaschke blushed that he was humbled by the "honor".

He should be.

After all - as I reported in a post a couple of days ago - he has a propensity to steal ideas from other writers to fuel his creative engine!

Talk about an embarrassment to the field of sports journalism!

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said,

It has come to be practically a sort of rule in literature, that a man, having once shown himself capable of original writing, is entitled thenceforth to steal from the writings of others at discretion."

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Beijing Olympics...lesbian trysts at games?

Dykes on Bikes put McCain's Hell's Angels to shame...


Last night I was checking blot stats at the Word Press site and was startled to encounter a curious - but amusing - "search" engine term - "sexual trysts of female swimmers at Olympics" - that a web surfer inputted to apparently locate an article on my blog.

Well, now.

In recent days I penned a post about Amanda Palmer's penchant for Lipstick Lesbians.

And, I reported on the controversial news report about LAPD Chief William Bratton landing in hot water for speculating that Lindsay Lohan was now pitch-hitting for the Isle of Lesbos.

Yup - "Dykes on Bikes" - were also featured in all their raunchy bravado a scant few weeks ago when the festive Gay Pride Parade rolled into gay gulch in West Hollywood.

I even contemplated an insider look at the secret passions of Lesbian Sumo wrestlers in the far East.

Just tugging on your bra straps on that one, folks!

There haven't been any salacious tales about bulked-up lesbo water nymphets splashing about in the "cube" nude at midnight under a romantic Chinese night sky rife with intoxicating perfumed smog, though.

In fact, there hasn't been a hint of such a scandal, to my knowledge.

But, now that I am keen on the fact "Enquiring" minds are intrigued at the possibility, I'll get on it.

Later!

Rainbow colors hint at sexual persuasion...

Michael Phelps...LA TIMES' Bill Plaschke calls Olympic swimmer "Dork". A**hole!

Studly swimmer causes hearts to flutter...


I was taken aback bright and early this morning when I was perusing the morning daily - the Los Angeles Times - and came across a snotty remark writer Bill Plaschke made about Olympic Gold Medalist, Michael Phelps.

In his report on Phelps' near-miss for the "gold" last night at the Beijing Olympic games, he snarked:

"When America remembers how a dorky Baltimore kid once devoured the Olympics, this is what they will remember."

Dorky?

Get real, Plaschke.

A cashier at Gelson's said it succinctly this morning when she excitedly gushed,

"He's the man."

In contrast, when historians sift through old news clips of the Olympic competitions in Beijing, they'll recall that Bill Plaschke was a hack writer with a jaundiced view on life.

A**hole!

Friday, August 15, 2008

Michael Phelps...lucky No. 7. Gold Strikes again for Olympic Hero!

Through the eyes of the cube...


Although Serbian swimmer Milorad Cavic was gliding to the finish, just inches from the gold, Michael Phelps turned out to be the little engine that could.

One more powerful stroke thrust him forward and on to victory.

But up-close onlookers couldn't help but crack a smile or two. It was a bit of a crash landing, after all.

Although his hand smacked into the wall of the pristine "cube" - a last surge of athletic prowess splashed Phelps into Olympic history - to tie Mark Spitz' long-standing record.

But, the grasp for the Gold trinket did not come easy, after-the-fact.

In the wake of a win that was literally snatched out of the clutches of his fierce competitor, the Serbians were so fired up by the biting scenario, that they filed a protest with Olympic Officials so that the governing body could review the video-tape down to the 10-thousandth of a second.

Spoil sports!

And, even as Phelps powered his way to a dramatic finish, a stream of anxious thoughts continued to swim inside his pretty little head.

"I was starting to hurt a little bit with probably the last 10 meters, Phelps said. "That was my last individual race, so I was just trying to finish as strong as I could.”

Phelps’ time was 50.58 seconds - not a world record - but a glorious win nonetheless in view of all the theatrics.

The Baltimore lad has now matched Spitz’s performance in the 1972 Olympic Games (Munich).

Spitz remained quite sports-man-like about the whole turn-of-events.

In fact, he sang the praises of the young Olympic swimmer, earlier this evening.

Without hesitation, Spitz asserted that Phelps was not only the greatest swimmer of all time, but the greatest Olympian of all time, too.

Phelps will return on Sunday to swim in the final event which is a butterfly leg on the 400 medley relay.

If the number eight is as auspicious as the Chinese allege it to be - hopefully - the eighth race on Beijing's home turf will prove to be a lucky experience for Phelps, too.

The world will be tuned in (on the edge of their wide-screen seats) and - just maybe - pi**ing their pants in anticipation of a glorious crowning finale to a week that has been awesome, to say the least!

Michael Phelps...Hate him! I cut ice cream...

Phelps lean mean killing machine...


Day before yesterday - I noted in passing on a blog post - that Olympic Medalist Michael Phelps appeared to have very little body "fat" on his trim muscular frame.

A day later, the Phelps' camp revealed to the press that the athlete actually gobbles down about 12,000 calories a day!

Because of all the strenuous work-outs and practice runs, the handsome swimmer laughingly jibed that the carbs just melt off his swimmer's bod.

"I can eat anything," he boasted.

I knew there would be something I hated about the guy!

I just cut Häagen-Dazs ice cream and mouth-watering pastries from my diet to stop a spare tire from buoying me up.

But, Phelps - astoundingly - manages to wolf down a five-egg omelet, three chocolate chip pancakes (this boy knows how to live!), a bowl of grits (always hated 'em), and an order of French Toast slathered with a sugary white-powder topping.

Swimming in Maple Syrup, I expect!

That's just breakfast, fellas.

Come dinnertime, Phelps sets his sights on a whole pizza, which he teams with a tasty packet of delicious pasta. With Lots of high-calorie Italian sauce, no doubt!

But, let's face it, age has a bit to do with it.

Twenty-somethin' guys (Phelps is 23) generally burn off calories in a nano-second. In fact - young guns can demolish two-for one pizzas with double cheese and sausage, a thirty-two ounce big gulp, and top it off with garlic bread and wings - without packing a paltry pound.

But, when a male hits thirty, watch out.

Chances are - most men will need to start up a health regimen at that ripe old age - that may include a jog around the park two or three times a week, some lap-time at the pool, and a bit of judicious food selection at the nightly dinner table.

In fact - every ten years - the body metabolism slows down.

So, "forty" and "fifty" are markers that will pack a whollop to the stud who was used to breezing through life lean and mean.

People are constantly amazed when they learn how old I am.

But, honestly, I work hard at it.

If I am going to whip down to my Calvins and hop in the sack, I don't want to be embarrassed, 'ya know?

So - whenever possible - I fast-walk instead of driving to a location. And, if time and access permit, I spring for a leap up or down the stairs instead of zoning out on the elevator.

And, there are at least three rigorous trips to the gym each week.

I also gave up chomping on three square meals a day, too.

In the alternative, I "graze".

I snack on small morsels of nutritious food throughout the day - and this is the key - only when I am hungry.

For the most part, I am in tip-top shape.

And, the benefits are great.

Occasionally - I am flattered when I am asked to show I.D. at the liquor store - or a trendy nightclub in West Hollywood.

And, attractive young cuties are constantly hitting me up for a date.

Now, let's hope a particular body part keeps functioning well.

I'm a little young for Viagra yet!

My man-tool has a little pride, 'ya know?

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

California "stop"...definition!


A California "stop" is successfully maneuvered when a driver manages to slow down, glance at the stop sign for a second or two, then cruise on down the highway without catching the eye of old smokey.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Blog...published in foreign languages. How does "Tattler" translate?


Just recently it came to my attention that "The Tattler" is being read in German, Italian, French, Spanish - and possibly - Japanese.

And - who knows - perhaps in a smidgen of computer-speak, too.


So, I have paused to consider whether the blog musings translate well.

Because I am inclined to use a lot of slang in my posts - I wonder - does the stilted prose cause some consternation to newbies overseas?

Then, there are those fu**king fleeting expletives. Is it just an American phenomenon, or do censors across the pond have to deal with naughty words in far-a-way mystical lands like they do in the puritanical States?

I tend towards self-censorship out-of-courtesy to my Christian readers. But, I am curious to know if foreign readers find the asterisks dotting the literary landscape humorous like readers on these shores do. Or, just plain baffling?

As to the windbag material on my blog!

Well, I endeavour to avoid being too local.

As George Bush would say, "I try to be Universal". In appeal, at least.

So, I tend to toss in a few candid shots of celebrities here and there to amuse, then guide the unsuspecting down the garden path as best I know how.

Occasionally, I'll feature a foreign film like - "The Live of Others" - to reveal my strident West Coast intellectual side. Or, report on the celebrity sighting of a respected European actress - like Nastassja Kinski - to butter 'em up a little.

And, if a hearty few manage to maneuver through all the landmines in my prose, there is a definite upside. They'll be privy to a bird's-eye view of the topsy-turvy 2008 Presidential Election Race. A bit skewered, I confess.

But, what good is a blog, if you can't wield your elusive power now and then?

However, now I am facing a new dilemma.

Some posts are garnering "comments" from my fast friends on far shores.

But, frankly my dears, it's all Greek to me.

I am inclined to just "publish" the scribbles without deciphering as a courtesy to web surfers who diligently traversed miles of data from beyond to peruse me.

But, what if the message - unbeknowst to me - flippantly laments:

"Fu** you!"

Is there a universal response that says "same to you" succinctly?

 
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