In recent months, an intriguing phenomenon has reared its curious head in Los Angeles.
Of course, as you are no doubt aware, there has been a big brouhaha around the country about illegal immigrants, their right to work in the U.S. pending legal documentation, and the need for Immigration reform.
One of the pet peeves out here on the West Coast pertains to English (plain and simple).
If you reside in Los Angeles - chances are - you get frustrated when you saunter into a fast-food take-out joint and needlessly encounter difficulties in placing an order because the workers are not fluent in English.
Your stomach growls - aches for chow - but that stumbling block has to be bridged first before the tasty morsels arrive in the neat little cardboard box decorated with the McDonald's logo on is face.
A phrase a jailer barked in a prison yard in the critically-acclaimed film - "Cool Hand Luke" (which starred Paul Newman) - springs to mind in this circumstance.
"What we have here is a failure to communicate!"
The staff manning the take-out counter are probably Latino with little or no education.
Since English is not their mother tongue, problems often arise when a customer attempts to translate the specifics of a menu choice into a comprehensible image that the server will understand (and act on).
Yup!
The hungry consumer may have to conjure up a bit of amusing sign language (tap dance a little, too) in a bold-faced effort to drive the point home successfully.
If that bit of ingenuity doesn't engender the proper response, he or she may have to pray for Divine Intervention.
But, the Manager may be in the same boat, or just got off of one.
Oy veh!
When all else fails, the customer may have to rudely stab a finger at one of the slick ads on the menu overhead to indicate a choice, and trust that the gesture alone will rustle up some grub pronto on the heels of two little words.
"Uno, please."
On the heels of ICE breathing down employers' backs, and vows from the Government that E-Verify will be instituted in the near future to prevent illegal immigrants from working on these shores, I noticed that a handful of workers at McDonald's and Jack-in-the-box disappeared from service.
And, in the interim, the order process was streamlined and simplified sufficiently enough - that a meager understanding of English - was only required.
For instance, a system was devised whereby a hapless employee without English fluency need only punch in the order number, enter the sum paid by the customer, and hand back a balance due that was tabulated electronically by the restaurant computer.
Workers - capable of handling the pressure in this seat-of-the-pants scenario - were able to hold onto their jobs.
Unfortunately, the hopelessly challenged were forced to move on.
Even still, a posse of Americans stayed focused on the growing problem of undocumented workers who were unable to communicate effectively in the recognized language of the land.
Subsequently, a mind-boggling transformation surfaced in the workplace almost overnight.
For example, one day when I was munching on my high-calorie trans fat burger and fries, a worker uttered up a chorus of intriguing sounds that were vaguely familiar!
The startling event (I learned later by closer observation) was prone to arise when a customer interacted with a member of the staff.
Yup - out-of-the-blue one day - a Latino server actually greeted a customer when he waltzed up to place an order for lunch
But, the landmark event was ripe with a curious twist to it.
Because my ears are still razor sharp and sound as a bell - I managed to zero in on subtle nuances in the speech patterns - that led to a Eureka moment.
When the Latino sang out the intended phrase - good morning - the words were cut short (fell off the plateau) before the notes hit the air and and landed on their intended target!
It suddenly struck me what had just occurred.
The young Latino man was using phonetics to disguise his lack of fluency in English.
It was not only obvious to me how he did it, but why the situation developed in the unceremonious way it did.
You see, most individuals with a modicum of intelligence - even a touch of logic and common sense - are capable of figuring out the "obvious" in a situation (especially where there is a need for survival).
This fellow - like many others I've come across in recent months - wisely observed that when a customer walked through the door they usually spoke a word or two.
And, when exiting - likewise - tended to say a few parting words.
Understandably, it dawned on him after reflecting on the situation, that if he copy-catted the same "sounds" customers transmitted when they came and went - that he would give the impression he understood the language and was able to elucidate fluently in English.
Remarkable!
But, there was one major problem to contend with.
Not everyone speaks audibly (or enunciates correctly) when conversing with another individual.
Also, a person's failure to project the words and phrases properly, could conceivably stunt the sounds and cause them to be misunderstood.
Hence, the listener may not be able to discern the exact pronunciation - and more importantly - be able to fathom how to form the words and sing them out correctly in the future by way of their own vocal chords.
Notwithstanding, because the individual has probably never seen the word(s) in print - or been taught their origins, what they mean exactly, etc. - the phonetic attempts to discern the correct speech patterns for conversational purposes would be hindered considerably.
But, the untrained ear (or one that was not listening intently) might be fooled.
Not moi!
On the occasion that I happened across the curious phenomenon, I distinctly heard the Latino man misspeak with earnest.
"Ave a goo dai"
Say what?
I sure hope it won't be gooey, I chuckled to myself.
To test my theory, one day I quizzed an employee about a subject that wasn't related to the order process.
Uh-huh!
His eyes went wide, jaw dropped, and the poor sucker literally froze on the spot.
The poor darling didn't know what the heck I was asking of him.
Why?
Because the question was a foreign one that did not fit into the known-scenario in the order process that they were accustomed to.
To be fair, though, I realize full well that if you or I traveled overseas to Italy or France, we both might end up mangling their language, too, without a lesson or two under our belts.
Why not just admit the lack of fluency, be open about it, and put our best foot forward?
It all boils down to fear, I guess.
If some of these Latino immigrants would acknowledge the truth and at least try to make an effort to learn English - and reach out for heaven's sake - perhaps Americans might be more sympathetic to their plight
For example, when I was in Montreal many moons ago, I learned a valuable lesson in that regard.
Although I was taught Parisian French in school (Canada is a bi-lingual country) I was unable to communicate effectively because (1) French Canadians never warmed up to the way France's countrymen conversed in the language, hence, they developed their own style of speaking it (the two factions hate each other, in fact); (2) the Quebecois speak in a regional (some say, guttural) form of French that outsiders are unable to grasp unless they gain access to their innermost social circles.
In sum, the Parisian French we are taught in Canadian Schools is quite formal.
If I conversed in my "King's French", I would appear to be uppity to French Canadians.
In sum, the gaffe on my part, would be a slap in the face.
For that reason, I chose to rent an apartment in the Village in Montreal when I resided there, to broach that problem.
Consequently, my daily interactions with the locals, and good-faith efforts to communicate in a style and manner they were accustomed to, went a long way to smooth over the waters - and ultimately - earn their respect.
In the end, the Quebecois (usually anti-Anglo) reached out to me, as well.
If there was more of that kind of give-and-take in Los Angeles - and a sincere good-faith intention on the part of both Latinos and English-speaking Americans in that regard - both sides of the language fence would be able to resolve their differences.
The end result?
There would be hands across the borders instead of fists!
