Republicans spring for duds at the Gap
Joy's lack of fashion sense strangles her!
Joy Behar’s interview with Levi Johnston started off innocently enough - but once the young buck established that he was unwilling to dish up a salacious snippet of gossip or two to feather her notorious nest – the treacherous red-head (who brags about being a Bette Midler look-alike to everyone within earshot) was inclined to twist the knife in.
Ouch!
It was painful to watch.
In spite of the vicious attack mode – launched without much provocation out-of-the-blue – Levi kept a cool head.
No innuendo, honest!
In fact, the hapless hottie barely twitched a muscle, when it became quite evident Joy was raising the stakes in the hot seat.
The handsome young woodsman from the wilds of the great white north managed to sit confidently, with hands intertwined on the table top in a manly manner, as a jutting chin underscored the hard veneer beneath the Tinseltown spit-and-polish phoniness beguiling the surface.
Right off the bat, the pushy (classless) talk-show interviewer, questioned the truthfulness of a handful of Levi's mean-spirited takes on the VP hopeful – which ultimately – catapulted the mouthy lad into the International spotlight.
How do you know for a certainty that Crystal was left to her own devices to raise the kids, so that Sarah could selfishly devote herself to the task at hand on the campaign trail?
Levi calmly shot from the hip.
“I stayed at the house for three years and was a witness to what went down," he quipped in so many words.
Turn-about is fair play, so Joy proceeded to broadcast a clip in which perky Palin pointed an accusing finger at Levi for being an absentee father.
In the short interview, the gun-toting mama, accused Levi of being away on his media junkets, pursuing modeling gigs, and appearing for interviews when he should have been more mindful of the burden he was placing on Crystal and their child.
But, in a deceitful effort to avoid giving the appearance of being an interloper and a muck-racker, Palin assured her interviewer that she and the 1st Dude never intervened or harped at Levi over the issues.
"We let them work it out themselves," she noted, as she patted herself on the back.
While that clip was wrapping up on air, Levi reacted with a grunt in the shadows, if I am not mistaken.
At this juncture, the tongue-wagger steered the conversation down a potentially devastating path for Levi – if he took the bait (jail bait?) - that is.
When did the two of you first have sex, she quizzed her startled guest, without blushing.
Levi was nobody’s fool, though, and instinctively sensed it was a loaded question.
After collecting his thoughts, and accessing the situation, he softly noted she was 18.
Good answer, Levi.
When Levi refused to reveal where their first spell of passion took place, Joy tried twisting his arm to wrestle the top secret information out of him.
But, to no avail.
I don't kiss and tell, either.
When it came to the topic of Levi’s upcoming book, the VIEW hen was shaken (not stirred) by Levi’s inference that there were more delicious revelations on the horizon which may get Palin's t** caught in the wringer.
Because Johnston was tight-lipped – and refused to ferret up any titillating tidbits - Joy went for the jugular out of spite.
So, let’s get to this playgirl thing.
Why didn’t you bare all?
The studio camera focused on racy photos of Johnston off-set – at which point – a handful of crew members and guests let out a few wolf whistles on the sidelines.
“I’m just 18, and I thought I should rethink it, and not do something I’d regret later.”
Of course, there was an easy way out of the fix.
Because he has a child, he could have argued that he didn’t want to pose nude and run the risk of having his child happen across the racey stills in the future when least expected.
At this point, it was pretty obvious to moi that Levi is a pretty smooth character with an innate sense of self-preservation.
Obviously, this was apparent to the hostess (without the mostest) who must have been seething inside; after all, the naive punk got the best of her.
Frustrated, she proceeded to go for the low blow, and took a swipe at his manhood.
You realize that you’re a gay icon now, she retorted in a slightly derogatory fashion, to a genuinely surprised Levi.
"How does that make you feel?"
Is he less of a man, because of it, Joy?
Unlike the former, Ms. California - who stepped in sh** more often-than-not on the subject of gay issues - Johnston was quick on the uptake.
“They’re people, too. They’re all fans.”
One for Levi, dudes!
His clever response reminded me of an old saying.
“There’s no such thing as bad publicity. All publicity is good publicity.”
Though many Queens might think Levi a cad, it is doubtful they’d kick him out of bed for eating crackers.
Levi may find himself on my worst-dressed list at the end of the month, though.
For starters, the tips on his shirt collar were too large, and out-of-style.
Even still, kudos are due.
The conquering hero sat up straight and confident in his chair and effected a strong masculine presence.
In fact, the Palin black sheep didn’t even twitch, when Joy rolled out the big guns.
"What makes you think your penis is so great that it should be photographed," she asked with all the delicacy of a common street whore.
“Interesting question,” he responded without blinking an eye.
But a ridiculous one!
An offer to pose nude doesn’t always signal a lone interest in getting a peak at a he-man’s co**.
To many, it’s the overall package (including how a man uses the - um - tools at his disposal) that is the measure of the man, in the final analysis.
Joy’s focus on di** revealed what a size queen she is.
A large sausage would substitute just fine for her on cold winter nights when the old cougar’s dance card is empty (without doubt!)
It’s doubtful many men (gigolo or not) would go for a cold-hearted bit** like her if they had their druthers anyway, just betcha, folks!
By the way, Karma works in very mysterious ways, Ms. Behar.
Last night, it jumped up and bit you on your righteous a**, and you didn't even see it coming.
In the final analysis, Levi was more skilled at laying traps, than a jaded old city slicker like you, darling.
Palin Lesbian rumors persist!
