One morning a radio station was chatting with a call-in listener who lucked out and won tickets for a George Michael concert.
"How long have you been a fan?" the high-energy disc jockey asked with infectious enthusiasm.
"Oh, since George was whamming."
Ha! That conjured up curious images - and memories - as well.
Like, how about, "Wham Bam, thank you Ma'am?"
Yes, I know, that was a lyric from a David Bowie song.
I was referring to his private life, if you get the gist of my meaning!
I laughed to myself when I recalled the incident a few years ago when Mr. Michael (an oddity of terms, isn't it?) got caught with his - um - pants down in a men's rest room across the street from the prestigious Beverly Hills Hotel.
I thought it was admirable that George fessed up - quick as a wink - without any long drawn-out excuses.
But, with a top-notch lawyer he could have gotten off - so to speak - in my estimation.
Think about it.
Allegedly, he was standing at the urinal stroking his Johnson - no, not "Don Johnson" - his co**, peck** - whatever.
Without warning (gosh - the unexpected surprise could have sent him off half-co**ed - don't 'ya think?) an undercover agent apparently strolled in and spied the pop star in the act of - er - exposing himself in a crude intimate manner.
Or, however you want to posture it.
But, there weren't any other witnesses to shake a stick at.
Essentially, it was George Michael's word against that of the undercover dick (there's something erotic - yet foreboding-sounding - about that term, isn't there?) who proceeded to frisk him (betcha he was turned on by that) and haul his tight little a** to the slammer.
If you recall, straight off, George pleaded no contest.
Like the Michael Jackson scenario, was it possible that there was something so distinctive about his pen**, that he was sure the copper could identify it in open court, if necessary?
Is that why he begged off?
Personally, I figure that a high-powered attorney with some street smarts under his belt, could have put forth a compelling argument that George wasn't actually "playing" with his organ at all (yeah, all the innuendos are hilarious in this scenario) but - rather - shaking it a tad to cast off a few last dew drops of pi** from the end of it.
Ladies, it's a guy thing!
Ah, maybe that's it.
He didn't want to air his dirty underwear - um - laundry in public!
Remember what Oscar Wilde once said,
"Scandal is gossip made tedious by morality"
