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Showing posts with label Carol Burnett. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Carol Burnett. Show all posts

Friday, April 23, 2010

Festival of Books...Carol Burnett & Carl Reiner appear! Panel Discussions! Kid stuff...









The ever-popular annual Festival of Books - sponsored by the daily Los Angeles Times - returns to UCLA campus this weekend.

Celebrity speakers - with books to plug - are already rustling up widespread interest.

For instance, Mary McNamara will chat with Carol Burnett at the Ackerman Grand Ballroom, about her biography - This Time Together - to the delight of her fans.

In addition, special panel discussions are bound to be packed to capacity.

So, it may be wise to get an early start, to ensure you land a seat under one of the many big tents that will dot the festive landscape.

After the talks, most festival authors will remain to sign books.

There is no requirement that a book be purchased at the fair, so sling your own tome from home!

Most of the events are free, so budget-minded book-lovers keen on a relaxing a few hours in a park-like setting, should take advantage of the golden opportunity.

Kids pinning 'ya down?

Take 'em along!

There is a separate area for the young ones - where stage shows (and entertaining amusements) - will keep them contented (and most certainly nurtured at the same time).

Slated to play in the Children's line-up on Saturday, for instance, is Nickelodeon's "The Fresh Beat Band" (10:00 a.m.)

Author Carl Reiner (comic) follows shortly thereafter at 11:00 a.m. with a scheduled reading of  "Tell me a Silly Story."

Later in the afternoon, Henry Winkler will be on hand, too (2:40 p.m.)

Hero Complex will make a splashy entrance at the Festival this year with a fine array of comic books, manga and graphic novel publishers, and a bevy of writers and distributors from the genre.

The Los Angeles Times Festival of Books is the largest Literary Event in America today!

Info:  http://www.latimes.com/festivalofbooks



Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Michael Maron...rip-off make-over magic! Failure to give credit unprofessional...



A few years ago, when I was pounding the pavement as an actor, I crossed paths with photographer Michael Maron who was eeking out a living shooting head shots.

In addition to the shutter-bugging, Michael also provided a make-up session prior to the shoot, to ensure the photographs turned out slick and professional-looking.

I was a fashion journalist reporting on various aspects of the industry during that time frame, which was of particular interest to Michael, for good reason. (Southam News)

The clever snake-oil-salesman just hit on the idea to publish a book of "before" and "after" shots of his clientele to underscore the importance of a good make-over in the overall scheme of things.

One night at dinner in a trendy cafe in picturesque Silver Lake, Maron noted off-the-cuff that if there was any material I thought might complement his publication, that I should send it along.

I gave the matter some thought over the next few days, then proceeded to pen several tips on how to dress according to "body type", which factored well into Maron's project.

With little ado, I fired off the material, by certified mail.

In bold print - on the first page of the submission - I noted that use of material would require a credit to the author, Julian Ayrs.

Almost a year later, Michael informed me casually on the telephone one day that the labor of love was published and in bookstores around the country.

Funny that!

Michael didn't offer me a copy in spite of the fact I provided material for the publication.

So, I dashed off to a retail outlet, and inquired about the make-over book.

Shortly after I located the slick-looking coffee-table offering, I began to flip between the covers in search of my contribution.

I was flattered when I came across a whole chapter devoted to the subject matter I painfully complied and graciously submitted to be included in the novelty publication.

However, I was flabbergasted (and disheartened) to discover minutes later, that I had not been credited for my contribution.

I scoured the glossy pages up-and-down - even digested a glowing introduction written by Maron's good buddy, Carol Burnett - but no mention of moi!

In fact, I was not even mentioned in the opening leaves of the tome, where Michael elected to single out and give thanks to family, friends, and business associates he deemed worthy of a nod.

Argh!

Not one whisper of me - or my contribution to "Make-Over Magic" - nada!

So, I fired off a letter to the Publisher and brought the matter to his attention.

Was it an oversight, per chance?

Shortly after that ballsy move, the telephone rang off the hook one day as I puttered about.

When I plucked up the receiver, Michael's voice was crackling on the end of the line.

"I can't believe you contacted my publisher," he fumed in disbelief.

Well, he used my material without giving credit as promised, so what else was I to do?

"Michael if you were passing off material as your own, the publisher should be aware of it."

He grunted on the other end of the phone - obviously infuriated - then hung up.

I was advised later that I would receive a credit in the 2nd Edition of the book.

So, when it hit the shelves, I scurried down to the bookstore to gloat over my credit.

Not so fast, Julian!

Once again, no credit was cited for the material where it appeared in the publication.

Instead, Michael chose to publish my name in a long list of contributors he gave thanks to on page one or two of the popular make-over book.

In the final analysis, I suspect that Michael was unwilling (and too embarrassed) to admit that he didn't write key material (at the heart of the book) which he previously - by virtue of lack of admission - was passing off as his own.

What a rotten son-of-a-bit**, eh?

Frankly, I take the position today that if Michael Maron has any ethical standards at all - even one ounce of integrity or morality, for that matter - that he'll consider coughing up a percentage of the profits culled to this date.

After all, my hefty material contributed to the book's success.

Fair is fair, right?

Something tells me it will be a cold day in he** before that ever happens, though.

Well, 'ya live and 'ya learn, eh?

By the way, I re-titled the book.

Michael Maron's rip-off Make-Over Magic!

Nuff said!



Thursday, October 16, 2008

Sarah Palin...a winkie wanker? Nah, it's neurosis, dude!



Much ta-do has been made in recent hours about a sly wink that Sarah Palin appears to be levelling across the uneven playing field in political jaunts around the country.



Just when voters are sure to get a bead on her meanderings - yup - thar she goes again!



Wink!



Is she on the make?



If it kicks off with a come hither look first, perhaps!



If so - does she have her sights set on anyone in particular - or is the 1st Dude's hubbie just out for a wild 'n crazy cluster fu**?



Years ago, Carol Burnett used to tug on one ear lobe.



And, it stirred up a hornet's nest of speculation with the viewers at home.



Was it a message to a secret beau that she'd saunter by later when the cast were out of sight?



Or, maybe TV's funny-lady was just checking to ensure that a snazzy diamond earring hadn't fallen into the front row without warning during some last-minute high-jinks on stage before the close of the popular variety show?



Turns out, the lobe stroke was a signal to her Mom at home!



In the instance of the VP hopeful, I expect she's just a winkie wanker.



What's a wanker?



The dictionary describes it this way:



Main Entry:

wank·er


1 chiefly British; usually vulgar: a person who masturbates

2 chiefly British; usually vulgar: jerk, contemptible, dolt



According to the dictionary, a wink means:



Main Entry:

1wink


1 to shut one eye briefly as a signal or in teasing

2 to close and open the eyelids quickly

3 to avoid seeing or noting something

4 to gleam or flash intermittently : twinkle winking in the sunlight



Anyone who wunks that often in a wicked crowd of wanton whirling dervishes - politicians, pollsters, and lobbyists (and the like) - is neurotic, though, if you ask me!



But, the winks could mean a couple of things, in view of the foregoing.



Perhaps she's signalling some masturbator that's she hot-to-trot.



Or, she's flashing a sly message to voters that she finds 'em contemptible.



Just maybe, on the other hand, she's subliminally letting people in the audience know she's got to twinkle, so they'd better move along with the debate.



Just put up your hand, Sarah, and ask if you can take a trek to the ladies room.



It's a good sign, actually.



When the phone rings at 3 a.m. in the morning in the White House, world leaders won't have to worry if they roused Sarah out of a funky slumber.



Yeah, they'll know the former Beauty Queen was up and down all night with a weak bladder.



Have you tried cranberry juice, Sarah?





Monday, September 24, 2007

Carol Burnett...bows out of fall stage production


Unfortunately, Carol Burnett was forced to cancel her upcoming stage appearance in "What's been bothering you, lately?" due to an unexpected family situation.

Now there's an old familiar face I haven't seen for a season or two.

Of course, many are familiar with Ms. Burnett's award-winning variety hit - The Carol Burnett Show - which aired on CBS almost perennially.

A handful of her television characters (such as the Charwoman and Mrs. Wiggins) wiggled their way into our hearts - and when recalled - bring a smile to the face.

The Carol Burnett Show basked in the limelight for 11 successful seasons.

Critics and an at-home audience heaped praise on the weekly variety show over the years which ended up winning 25 Emmy awards, 8 Golden Globe Statuettes and 3 People's Choice Awards.

Along the way, Ms. Burnett introduced an ensemble of fine, versatile character actors: Tim Conway, Harvey Korman, Viki Lawrence, and Lyle Waggoner - to name a few.

Each week, side-cracking skits, and a bevy of superstar giants - Rock Hudson, Art Carney, Lucille Ball, Jonathan Winters, Carol Channing, Vincent Price, Liza Minnelli, Paul Lynde - too many to name here, really - held a worldwide audience in its charming sway.

Burnett became known for her Tarzan scream which she often offered up when requested by any number of her adoring fans - usually at the Q & A at the end of each show each night - a signature moment on the hilarious Carol Burnett Show.

Each night, as she waved a heartfelt goodnight to her guests, she tugged on one ear - a coded message, of sorts, to her grandmother - to signal all was well.

Ms. Burnett's first taste of success arrived on her doorstep when she appeared on Broadway in the 1959 musical, "Once Upon a Mattress".

Then, she landed a plum assignment as a regular player on the "Garry Moore Show" which boosted her into the National spotlight, and later, International recognition.

I had the good fortune to rub elbows with Ms. Burnett on a TV mini-series.

The comedy was a spoof on glitzy, melodramatic Night-time Soap Operas - such as Dynasty, Dallas, and the like - set in (a drum roll, please!) FRESNO, the wine-growing country in Southern California. It was a real hoot, if memory serves me right.

I played a reporter slash photographer in the climatic court-house scenes where the plot sickened most...ha!

The production Ms. Burnett was scheduled to appear in was written by Charles Grodin, capable actor and former talk-show host.

The celebrated comedienne would have starred in the role of Ms. Michaels, a qualified life coach, specializing in couples' therapy.

I was looking forward to the production, weren't you?

I trust that Ms. Burnett will resolve her personal problems and be back on the boards soon!

Now an old familiar tune starts playing inside my head...

Carol, "I'm so glad we had this time together..."
 
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