Kareem Abdul Jabbar...chopped liver? Basketball star statue controversy!

Is Kareem Abdul Jabbar chopped liver?

According to the basketball star, that's what the powers-that-be think!

Yesterday, Jabbar was quite adamant at a press conference that the reluctance of the league to erect a statute in his honor not only reflects that, but underscores their lack of respect.

"I've not only not on the backburner, but not even on the stove," he lamented to sports writers who gathered for a career update on the high-profile athlete.

Jabbar is known for his celebrated "hook" shot.

Undoubtedly, any statue commemorating Kareem, would also be a monument to that signature move which he perfected over the years while on the court.

Although Jabbar has taken to twitter and other far-reaching rich media to express his disappointment that the Lakers have overlooked him (Oscar de la Hoya, Wayne Gretzky, Magic Johnson, and the late Chick Hearn are all set in polished bronze in front of the Staples Center) the once-celebrated basketballer sniped that he is not griping.

"I don't understand it," Abdul-Jabbar lamented to Sporting News.

"It's either an oversight or they're taking me for granted. I'm not going to try to read people's minds, but it doesn't make me happy. It's definitely a slight."

"I am highly offended by the total lack of acknowledgment of my contribution to Laker success. I guess being the lynchpin for five world championship teams is not considered significant enough in terms of being part of Laker history."

If that weren't bad enough, Jabbar also pointed out that he was forced to take a pay cut for his role as special assistant coach in 2009, which didn't sit well either.

In contrast, high-profile smoozer Magic Johnson has been amply rewarded by the Lakers for his loyalty and ballplaying over the years.

Johnson was even blessed with a part-ownership, which he later cashed in on when he sold his chips last year.

Jabbar - a strapping man who registers in at 7 ft.-2 inches tall - also claims the team made him coil up in a cramped seat on one flight back from a game in spite of the fact there were roomier seats available in the area where players and other coaches were lounging.

This man just doesn't get any respect, according to the aging athlete, that's for sure!

Will the lakers kiss and make up?

Personally, I am of the opinion that an "honor" should be just that, an "honor".

A statue should be erected because there is an outpouring of love and respect by management, fellow team players, and the fans.
The statue should not be erected because it has been "demanded" by a grumbling sports hero.

News at 11!

http://www.thetattler.biz

Leonardo DiCaprio...nose news!

Leonardo naked to the world!

In the aftermath of the trending debacle on twitter - which descended on heartthrob Leonardo DiCaprio last night after he was caught scooping nasty sn** out of his snoz on-camera while millions gazed on in disgust - I suddenly recalled an old joke which appears to be appropros under the circumstances.

What do you do when your nose goes on strike?

Pick it!

http://www.julianayrs.com/

Leonardo DiCaprio...plug oil leak with actor's snot! Say tweet trenders!

How soon they turn on 'ya, eh, Leonardo?

Tonight, trending started fast & furious on twitter when a couple of by-standers at the Laker's game caught the heart-throb dredging up something nasty out of his normally-pristine hairless nostrils.

"They should plug up the oil leak with whatever that was DiCaprio was picking out of his nose," one scandalized tweeter posted in a huff.

Inquiring minds want to know all the delicious (!) details. 

Was it a pukey green color consisting of a thick pasty constitution, or just of the plain "white mucous" variety

How did he dispose of it?

Naw, he didn't!

Nothing to be ashamed of if you're caught in a pinch - suddenly and without notice - with all eyes on 'ya.

I recall singing this little ditty in the classroolm to annoy my teacher when her back was turned.

"Everyone's doin' it. Pickin' their nose and chewin' it." 

One bimbo babe at the social hub site didn't seem to mind the disgusting habit, though. 

"He's gorgeous," she gushed, "I want his babies."

Another, thought he looked kinda' dirty.

Uh-huh!

It appears that the Titantic dreamboat hadn't shaved for a day or two - and boy - he looked rough around the edges.

I wouldn't kick him out of bed for eating crackers, though.

One fan took the golden opportunity to boast that DiCaprio would be teaming up with Eastwood for a biopic on the intriguing life & times of J. Edgar Hoover.

Will the squinty-eyed-one probe into the former top Law Enforcement Officer's scandalous closetted homosexual lifestyle and the alleged trysts with his underlings (!) at the Bureau?

News at 11

Not a "Gamecocks" hat!

(but it will do Edgar)

http://www.julianayrs.com

President Barack Obama...reporter probes Barry "O" Bomber! Jump shot shakey...

With his feet planted firmly on the court at the White House, the President chatted with a reporter one-on-one seemingly without a care in the world.

The interviewer was keen on getting a glimpse of a Barack Obama that is rarely in plain view over the news airwaves.

When the reporter mentioned Barry "O" Bomber - Barack's nick-name in High School - it brought a smile to his face.

The President was bestowed with the awesome moniker because of his sizzling jump shot.

Barack Obama allegedly hung out with a posse of kids known as the "Rat-ballers" who were obsessed with basketball.

The President noted that when he enrolled in University he placed his focus on his studies - hence - his basketball skills fell by the wayside a tad.

"When I got back to the court, I'd lost my jump shot," he joked in so many words.

 in recent days, Mr. Obama has endeavored to stay on top of his "game" (time permitting).

"He just had something about him. He had this charismatic nature," noted of the rat-ballers after looking-back.

In spite of the fact he dresses elegantly, and walks the corridors of power, old friends joke that he's just Barry to them.

"Barry is skinnier, though. He looks good," another pal chirped in.

The faded photograph above reveals "Barry" in his former incarnation.

The yearbook entry captures a chubby Obama shoulder-to-shoulder with his basketball team mates.

Barrack attended Punahou - the largest private school in the country in Honolulu - which caters to the high-and-mighty (cultural elite) of Hawaii.

The tuition was beyond Barack Obama's reach; but fortunately, the President landed a sholarship which afforded him the opportunity to pursue a quality education.

Honolulu

http://www.thetattler.biz

Schwarzenegger...have 'ya got the ba**s?

News flashes in recent days have tended to focus on a surprising subject.

Ba**s.

Ah, the male anatomy!

For example, in my report on Chastity Bono's decision to pursue a sex-change operation, I applauded her for having the ba**s to go through with it.

Then, the following day, Schwarzenegger rustled up some controversial headlines when he special-delivered a bust (?) of a set of testicles to a political opponent in Sacramento, which included a hand-written note which teasingly taunted:

"You'll need these."

Without so much as a grunt, the gift was volleyed back into the Governor's court, thank you very much.

Understandably - the Lakers' b**s have not only been scrutinized up-close and personal on the court(and off) this season - but analyzed left, right, and center also.

Go figure!

I can't help but wonder where the spotlight will fall tomorrow.

Especially if it turns out to be a slow news day.

Haiku and the art of Zen Twittering anyone?

News at 11!

http://www.julianayrs.com

Sasha Vujacic...Laker's pact splits hairs!

When I was a youth, there was one thing that separated the men from the boys.

Hair!

The studly athletes generally sported buzz cuts or closely-cropped styles that underscored Virility! Manliness! Nothing sissy, dude!

The longhairs were fags, potheads, drop-outs or good-for-nothings!

Forget about the nerds!

Actually - when Bill Gates moved up in status and became one of the wealthiest men on the planet - a couple of my old school buddies moaned that in retrospect they wish they'd learned a little computer-speak in those pimply-faced teen years!

So, when it was reported that Sasha Vujacic stipulated that his new pact with the Lakers exclude a "haircut clause", I was a little flabbergasted.

Like Samson before him, were his lustrous locks the source of his stamina?

No matter, it wasn't the hair that bothered the General Manager Mitch Kupchak.

"It was the net or whatever that is. The hair's OK actually."

Well, it's great that Vujacic managed to secure a contract he's content with.

Otherwise, the Laker star would have been shipped off to Russia where he'd be freezin' his n**ts off in sub-zero temperatures.

Talk about stranded!

That's the long and short of it.