Barack Obama...lay off the Missus!

No nookie tonight...


This past week, Barack Obama grumbled to whoever would listen, that the press has been quite tough on his life partner, Michelle.

"Lay off the wife," was his basic war cry.

Well, Barack, the missus is part 'n parcel of it all.

Once the finicky voters gave you the once-over (and a nod to throw up your feet on the desk in the Oval Office) the spotlight turned on your - um - better half?

Americans need to know Michelle can pass the muster, so-to-speak.

We know she's no "Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis" - pill box hat or not - but the former Ms. Bouvier set a pretty high bar, 'ya know?

John Kerry probably lost the election because of his hubby.

Americans just weren't ready to warm up to the idea of a condiment heiress strolling down the hallowed halls of the White House barefoot after midnight swilling a glass of expensive Chablis.

Even if they do like ketchup on their potatoes!

Barack, a piece of advice...

If Michelle perfects the image of the "dutiful" mate, she'll manage to pass the smell test.

At that juncture, Americans may conveniently forget the unsavory remarks about being - "proud of being an American for the first time" - and let the two of you get on with the journey (wherever it may lead) in life!

On the issue of campaign behavior, Eleanor Roosevelt once said,

"Always be on time. Do as little talking as humanly possible. Lean back in the parade car so everybody can see the president."

Is it Barack's time?

Bill Clinton...Viagra ad?

In the future I may be a little more cautious when I bend over and snatch up the Sunday paper...why?

Recently, the LA TIMES featured a handful of snapshots of politicians in various clinches - lip-locks with the Gores, the Giulianis - and yes - the Clintons.

Heh, I nearly lost my breakfast!

The caption read, "...in '08 a little leg may go a long way".

If sex sells, the probing Journalist theorizes, aspiring couples in the Presidential race - knowingly or not - may bring the issue to the fore.

The thrust of the article is whether "public displays of affection" (or PDA's,the code word we used as kids to signal a date to get the paws off) are an asset to a campaign or not.

One expert opines, "Politicians often say that a candidate's spouse is a negligible factor when it comes to choosing a candidate".

"A candidate's spouse has to be a possible enhancement, if not - at least cause no harm."

Well, in the instance of John Kerry, it may have been true.

How many voters were comfortable with the idea of the ketchup bottle heiress roaming the hallowed halls of the White House swilling an expensive glass of wine in hand?

If the photos are any indication, it is evident that calculated press ops should be kept at bay.

The Al & Tipper smooch is not only reminiscent of the forced one Michael Jackson planted on Lisa Marie's pert lips, but also the dry, uncomfortable peck Cruise tried to launch on Katie Holmes (Mission: Impossible).

The Giuliani still appeared staged and phony in one sense.

The Body Language - especially the prominent hand grips by both partners - on arm, shoulder, and face (!) - suggested that His Honor was holding on for dear life - lest the trophy wife take flight; while his other half may have been clutching just as fiercely for fear he'd catch the eye of a seductress seeking to be number four wife.

Notwithstanding, the impression elucidated subliminally, is that of sublime bondage, perhaps.

The shot of the Clintons takes the prize, though.

The whole attitude of the photograph - their stance - and especially her bare legs and his noticeable lack of muscle tone (the line in the song goes something like this: with a figure less than Greek...) offers up something entirely unique.

The image reminds me of two has-been celebrities trotted out on "Dancing with the Stars" - workin' out their moves - and praying for a second chance at the brass ring.

It'd make a good ad for Viagra or a time-share, without doubt.

One has to wonder, does Hillary still hanker for nookie with Bill?

Gee, if we don't ask, maybe they won't tell.