Al Gore...won't be charged for groping Masseuse! Was Hagerty paid for tawdry tale?

Gore came out swinging on sexual groping allegations!

Gore love tryst at Hotel Lucia in doubt

Former Vice President Al Gore was cleared Friday of allegations he groped and assaulted a masseuse in a luxury Portland hotel.

If you recall, I published a portion of the eye-brow-raising claims from the local police report, which read like a cheap dime-store novel.

Post: 07/07/10

http://ijulian.blogspot.com/2010/07/al-gorepolice-report-reads-like-porn.html

Some speculate that because Molly Hagerty - the alleged victim - dragged her feet for a couple of years before going on the record with her account of things - that it was an indication that something was amiss - certainly no slam dunk for prosecutors.

The tabloid press had a field day with the escalating scandal - dwelling on the where's and whyfore's of an assumed name Gore used (Mr. Stone) when he checked into the Hotel initially, his sudden announcement to part ways with his  lifelong sweetheart - Tipper Gore - on the eve the allegations erupted, and-so-forth and so on.

When the tawdry tale first broke, Gore stopped just short of a lament that could have been uttered up from his former boss's lips.

"I did not have sex with that woman."

Gore's handlers were ecstatic when the final decree issued forth from the local Constablery in Portland, Oregon, on Friday.

"Mr. Gore unequivocally and emphatically denied this accusation when he first learned of its existence three years ago," spokeswoman Kalee Kreider stridently noted in a prepared statement.

"He respects and appreciates the thorough and professional work of the Portland authorities and is pleased that this matter has now been resolved."

In respect to the sometimes wild and outrageous allegations, Michael Schrunk (the Multnomah County District Attorney) was inclined to sum up that - "contradictory evidence, conflicting witness statements, credibility issues, a lack of forensic evidence and denials by Mr. Gore" - were sufficient grounds to drop the charges.

In fact, the ongoing investigation - according to a Senior District Attorney Don Rees - proved to be pretty darn dicey in the final analysis.

Rees noted in a revealing memo, for example, that Hagerty and her attorneys were uncooperative, witnesses could not remember anything unusual, and that Hagerty - in addition to failing a polygraph examination - refused to fess up to suppositions that a scandal rag sold at supermarket counters paid for her story.

In a nutshell, Ms. Hagerty accused the former Vice President of forcing himself upon her during a paid-by-the-hour massage session.

According to the lengthy detailed police report, Mr. Gore deep-throated her, grabbed her buttocks, and forced her onto a bed with the intent of penetration, before she managed to break free of Gore and his alleged "split personality".

Gore was perplexed by the allegations and reported to Detectives that he remembered almost nothing of Hagerty.

So, it would appear there was a massage - but what happened between the two - remains a mystery.

There were questions about Hagerty's claims from the beginning.

She first contacted police in 2006 through an attorney, claiming "unwanted sexual contact" by Gore, but failed to appear for three meetings anxious Detectives set up with the specific aim of launching a thorough probe within the full extent of the long reach of the law.

Hagerty's reluctance to meet with Law Enforcement, however, did not signal an end to the matter.

Shortly thereafter, the National Enquirer published an online version of her night of sexual terror, which triggered a second round of investigations by the Portland Police who were inclined to follow through come hell or high water.

Meanwhile, legitimate press in that neck-of-the-woods - the Portland Tribune, for example - jumped into the frey and proceeded to conduct their own probe on the allegations of sexual impropriety on the part of environmentalist Al Gore.

Ms. Hagerty participated in that foray by virtue of an interview.

After reviewing the facts and evidence on hand, editors at the reputable newspaper opted to bow out, after conceding shamefaced that it would not be responsible journalism to move forward with a story.

On the heels of the Police Department's announcement at the tail end of the week, a media and entertainment lawyer representing Hagerty (!) stated for the record, that his client was disappointed that the District Attorney declined to prosecute.

"I understand their position," the independent contractor acknowledged through legal counsel.

In addition to noting that the whole fiasco was quite a traumatic one for his client, he also confessed that he has no idea where Ms. Hagerty is currently holed up.

As to the whether Ms. Hagerty was paid by the National Enquirer to recall the night she was nearly gored by the former VP, the answer is blowing in a North Eastern Wind.

Do inquiring minds want to know?

News at 11!

Passionate Al lock-lips Kiss on Tipper!

http://www.julianayrs.com

Al Gore...Police report reads like Porn novel. An Inconvenient truth...

Well, allegation of tongue-kiss, may not be far off!

When I speculated a couple of weeks ago that the break-up between Al Gore and his long-time childhood sweetheart may have been triggered by events which thus far escaped the glare of the public spotlight - I hit the jackpot -  alright! 

Background:

Post:  07/05/10

http://ijulian.blogspot.com/2010/07/al-goregroping-investigation-where.html

Post: 06/01/10

http://ijulian.blogspot.com/2010/06/al-goreand-wife-tipper-to-separate.html

Post: 06/02/10

http://ijulian.blogspot.com/2010/06/al-goredated-without-tippers-knowledge.html

In the past few days, sordid details of the alleged groping incident have been released to the press, and the tawdry tale reads like a cheap dime-store novel!

The 73-page tome details with no-holds barred the brief encounter between a hire-by-the-hour massage therapist (I use the term loosely) and the former Vice President who was referred to Hotel Staff as a "special guest".

If the enterprising babe was intrigued at idea of gleaning the identity of the mysterious traveller from the front-desk register, she was SOL!

Al Gore booked into his suite under an assumed name.

Mr. Stone!

A pebble for your thoughts, folks.

According to the police report, Mr. Gore greeted the stranger at the entrance of the suite, with a long lingering embrace.

"I was a bit taken aback by it," the masseuse blurted to the police in charge of the investigation.

Why did she not recoil in disgust?

Allegedly, the Hotel informed her prior to the session, that the individual scheduled for the massage was a VIP.

"A powerful man," they stressed.

So, the Hotel Lucia was giving him the Royal Treatment, according to sources.

Dollar signs must have been floating inside that conniving head of hers, because she proceeded to not only "service" Al Gore, but take note of all the salacious details for future posterity.

For example, the muscle-soother noted to investigators right off-the-bat that Gore instructed her to massage the inside of the thighs.

"I mentally noted that a request for adductor work is a bit unusual because it can be a percursor to inappropriate behaviour by a male client."

At his insistence, her hands fluttered up to his stomach to work the muscles in that region - at which point - Bill Clinton's former second-hand man  began to moan!

At this juncture, the masseuse sauntered into more turbulent waters.

Gore instructed her to massage farther down.

 "Go lower," he demanded.

When the clever gal chose a "safe non-sexual" area of muscle, Gore not only reacted angrily - but - uttered up sharp loud verbal grunts.

She recalled that he grabbed her right hand, shoved it down under the sheet, and shouted:

 "There!"

At this point in the titillating tale, Police officers were no doubt all ears with a slight rise in their levi's.

The masseuse, as it turns out, had quite a flair for the dramatic too.

She alleged that Gore abruptly changed his tone all-of-a-sudden "as though he had switched personalities."

Then, he pleaded for release of his second chakra, according to the slightly-off miracle-worker.

"This was yet another euphenism for sexual activity," she insisted to Law Enforcement officials.

If you ask me, this woman is looney-tunes!

Also, it appears from the other allegations, that she is prone to read too much purple prose.

For example, at the tail-end of the session, she charged:

"(He) wrapped me in an inescapable embrace and caressed my back and buttocks (!) and breasts."

The long and short of it?

She alleges that she "tried to get away" but Gore was too strong for her.

So, she succumbed just like that?

Uh-huh.

Gore allegedly maneuvered her into the bedroom after that (with military-style precision?).

Then, he flipped her flat on her back and threw his whole body face down atop (!) of her.

Her choice of words is amazing, isn't it?

But the ordeal was not over.

"He pleaded, grabbed me, engulfed (!) me in embrace, tongue-kissed me, massage me, groped my breasts and rubbed himself against my crotch saying: "You know you want to do it".

And, not once, did she cry out for help!

Golly, Al Gore must be alot more mesmerizing that we all thought, eh?

As Columbo would say, just one more thing.

"Did he have a big dick?"

Inquiring minds want to know.

Hotel Lucia

(Portland, Oregon)

http://www.julianayrs.com/

Al Gore...groping investigation! Where there's a masseuse, there's trouble...

I did not sexually grope that woman!

When I reported that Al Gore and wife Tipper were parting ways amicably a few weeks ago, many whispered behind-the-scenes that there was a deep dark secret that triggered the break-up.

Post: 06/01/10

http://ijulian.blogspot.com/2010/06/al-goreand-wife-tipper-to-separate.html

Post: 06/02/10

http://ijulian.blogspot.com/2010/06/al-goredated-without-tippers-knowledge.html

Now that the Portland Police have confirmed that a prior investigation has been re-opened - and that Al Gore is the prime suspect in a groping incident- in retrospect - the sudden break-up announcement makes sense.

Did Al deliberately distance himself from Tipper because he was alerted to the fact the probe was on the fast track - and to save her from the a tawdry scandal - that may be on the horizon?

A masseuse has alleged that the former Vice President made unwanted sexual advances on the occasion of a professional massage therapy session in his Hotel Lucia suite.

Sounds dicey from the get-go, doesn’t it.?
Even more so, when the glare of the spotlight is tossed on all the salacious details.

For instance, Gore registered at the Hotel under an assumed name, Mr. Stone.

Was he anticipating - or counting on some hanky panky going down - when he first booked the trip?

If I recall correctly, some masseuses use steamed rocks in their massage regimens.

Or, was Gore simply taking a poke at his own much-publicized stoney demeanour?

News at 11!
 

 

 

http://www.julianayrs.com

Leonardo DiCaprio...11th Hour doc on Environment! BP take note of re-post...

The 11th Hour is a film focusing on the environment and Global warming, narrated by heart throb, Leonardo DiCaprio.

According to Leonardo:

"Global warming is not only the number one environmental challenge we face today, but one of the most important issues facing all of humanity."

"We all have to do our part to raise awareness about global warming and the problems we as a people face in promoting a sustainable environmental future for our planet."

Written and directed by sisters - Leila Conners Petersen and Nadia Conners - it is a thought-provoking informative film.

Through the medium of celluloid, DiCaprio and leading scientists from around the Globe, are calling for restorative action through a reshaping of human activity.

To some, the voices heard here may sound a lot like an echo from those that spoke out in former Vice-President Al Gore's timely film: "An Inconvenient Truth".

In some respects - yes - it is.

But in this project there are some refreshing takes on some well-traveled territory which make the bill of fair more palpable this time around.

For instance, one writer known in the field on environmental issues, presents an intriguing rgument about our natural resources.

For example, he contends that because the population was once basically stable, mankind was able to survive wholly on natural light.

Then, he argues that once man discovered how to tap into the resources of "ancient sun" - in the form of oil and fossil reserves - humans began to live on borrowed time.

"We are time thieves," one scientist chimed in.

Consequently, because of it, we have been exhausting our natural resources ever since.
When the producers show us what occurs when one grand old tree is cut down in its prime - the dramatic impact on the soil, the run-off water, and the overall negative impact on the environment - it becomes evident to everyone in the audience the need to hasten the preservation of rain forests, for example.

And yes, we should be planting trees!

Another wonderful idea put forth in the 11th Hour greatly impacted me as well.
One scientist noted that on earth existence amounts to two commodities: people and property.
Yes, only two concepts that matter today are: owners and the things that are bought and sold.
Nature, he points out, does not appear to have any rights at all.

The scientists proceed to make a very sound argument for implementing laws to protect the earth's resources and our natural habitat.

"The mission of the community should be to inspire action at every level: from individual action, up through our communities, to the State, National and International level. Aggressive action must be focused on shifting our civilization to a sustainable future."

But here, the tale turns sinister.

Yes, influential forces in Washington, D.C. - lobbyists for the all-powerful oil industry - have heavily unbalanced the landscape.

For example, one Government Official in charge of assessing the state of key environmental issues, is an attorney and formerly a lobbyist for the Oil Companies.

Scientists complain that when they submit their findings to Washington for action, he edits out the incriminating forecasts and facts to soften the impact.

Many of you will no doubt recall watching investigative reports on Dateline and Sixty Minutes about the shocking attempts at a cover-up which are expounded on more fully in the insightful 11th Hour.

I was particularly taken by a reminder from one scientist - that in nature, more-often-than-not - waste is not an end product as the human species would have it.

In nature, for example, what is waste to one life form is sustenance to another.

The scientific team assembled here argue that it's time mankind focused on these kinds of solutions in order to survive in the future.

The film is a bit talky, and preachy, and there's an awful lot of scientific info to digest; but, maybe that's the medicine the modern man needs spoon-fed to him so that he will sit up and take notice.

But, the 11th Hour is not all doom, and gloom, or just a downer.

The film proceeds to offer up suggestions and exciting alternatives for the future.

The number one priority appears to be to build sustainable buildings, for instance; after all, there is a need for the planning and development of structures with an eye towards solar power, recycling of waste, and harmonious compatibility with the environment.

At this juncture - when the producers show rooftop gardens and windmill energy and leading edge technology to recycle waste - the possibilities appear to be exciting, overwhelming, and downright encouraging.

The future may be an exciting new road to travel down, if we give it a chance.

At the Q & A afterward, reps from two major environmental action-groups fielded questions about ways in which consumers can help.

It all starts at home with each individual doing their part: recycling, installing solar panels on rooftops, using clean energy.

Residual effects of BP oil spill disaster!

http://www.thetattler.biz/

Al Gore...dated without Tipper's knowledge? Secret bachelor days...

When the news broke yesterday that Al Gore and Tipper were breaking up after forty years of marriage, a handful of news outlets dragged out old archive material which featured Gore interviews over the years.

One was quite telling.

The reviewer casually asked if the childhood sweet hearts always knew they were right for each other.

Without hesitation - in one of those foot-in-mouth moments - Al quickly quipped that they both dated other people early on in the relationship.

Tipper, sitting on Al’s right, whirled around - somewhat taken aback = and snapped accusingly:

“Did we?”

Al, being the smooth character that he is (and was back then) responded without skipping-a-beat.

“But, I always knew that she was the gal for me,” Gore gushed without batting-an-eye.

If you ask me, it was one of those - ooops! moments - that was quite revealing.

Frankly, I am inclined to hazard a guess that there was a secret affair with a man in his past.

Not surprising when you consider that Al Gore was quite the handsome young stud cutting a fine swath back in his bachelor days.

These days, he’s too boring to lure anyone into his lair, in my estimation.

Is a fantasy about being gored by Al that sexually exciting?

Not!

Unless it’s play-for-play of course.

News at 11!

The man doth kisseth too much!

(shades of Michael Jackson & Liza's ex?)

http://www.thetattler.biz

Al Gore...and wife Tipper to separate! A convenient truth...

After four decades the marriage of former Vice President Al Gore and his wife, Tipper, appears to be kaput.

The man who faced inconvenient truths in the past, has confided that he and lovely Tipper will be going their own ways.

The Gores noted in unision in an e-mail (what, no tweet?) that the split was "a mutual and mutually supportive decision that we (the Gores) have made together following a process of long and careful consideration".

Al Gore was Bill Clinton's second-hand man (VP) at the White House during slick Willy's Presidency.

Unfortunately, Al lost his hard-fought battle in the 2000 presidential election to George W. Bush.

A new door opened for Mr. Gore when he began to focus on raising the conciousness about the environment - by virtue of the the documentary (An Inconvenient Truth) - which he nabbed an Academy Award for (The Oscar).

The project was so well-received that Mr. Gore was honored with a Nobel Peace Prize.

More deserving, by the way, than the one bestowed up President Barack Obama!

With what appeared to be minimal effort, the Gores managed to sustain the image of a happy American couple during the chapter of their lives when Mr. Gore served as Vice President for eight years in the White House.

The Gore's have four adult children, Albert III, Karenna, Kristin, and Sarah.

 

The lip-lock that shocked a Nation!

http://www.thetattler.biz/

Blog action day...tribute to the environment!

As a tribute to "Blog Action Day", and the theme of the environment, I've organized a stellar series of film clips, animations, and music videos - in sum, a whole, thought-provoking, delightful, insightful series of works from leading conservationists and activists around the globe...

Trusting that you find the posts appealing as you scroll down...

Leonardo DiCaprio...11th hour "Global Warming" concerns!

The 11th Hour is a film focusing on the environment and Global warming, narrated by heart throb, Leonardo DiCaprio.



According to Leonardo,

"Global warming is not only the number one environmental challenge we face today, but one of the most important issues facing all of humanity."

"We all have to do our part to raise awareness about global warming and the problems we as a people face in promoting a sustainable environmental future for our planet."

Written and directed by sisters - Leila Conners Petersen and Nadia Conners - it is a thought-provoking informative film.

Through the medium of celluloid, DiCaprio and leading scientists from around the Globe, are calling for restorative action through a reshaping of human activity.

To some, the voices heard here may sound a lot like an echo from those that spoke out in former Vice-President Al Gore's timely film: "An Inconvenient Truth".

In some respects - yes - it is.

But in this project there are some refreshing takes on some well-traveled territory which make the bill of fair more palpable this time around.

For instance, one writer known in the field on environmental issues, presents an intriguing argument about our natural resources.

For example, he contends that because the population was once basically stable, mankind was able to survive wholly on natural light.

Then, he argues that once man discovered how to tap into the resources of "ancient sun" - in the form of oil and fossil reserves - humans began to live on borrowed time.

"We are time thieves," one scientist chimed in.

Consequently, because of it, we have been exhausting our natural resources ever since.

When the producers show us what occurs when one grand old tree is cut down in its prime - the dramatic impact on the soil, the run-off water, and the overall negative impact on the environment - it becomes evident to everyone in the audience the need to hasten the preservation of rain forests, for example.

And yes, we should be planting trees!

Another wonderful idea put forth in the 11th Hour greatly impacted me as well.

One scientist noted that on earth existence amounts to two commodities: people and property.

Yes, only two concepts that matter today are: owners and the things that are bought and sold.

Nature, he points out, does not appear to have any rights at all.

The scientists proceed to make a very sound argument for implementing laws to protect the earth's resources and our natural habitat.

"The mission of the community should be to inspire action at every level: from individual action, up through our communities, to the State, National and International level. Aggressive action must be focused on shifting our civilization to a sustainable future."

But here, the tale turns sinister.

Yes, influential forces in Washington, D.C. - lobbyists for the all-powerful oil industry - have heavily unbalanced the landscape.

For example, one Government Official in charge of assessing the state of key environmental issues, is an attorney and formerly a lobbyist for the Oil Companies.

Scientists complain that when they submit their findings to Washington for action, he edits out the incriminating forecasts and facts to soften the impact.

Many of you will no doubt recall watching investigative reports on Dateline and Sixty Minutes about the shocking attempts at a cover-up which are expounded on more fully in the insightful 11th Hour.

I was particularly taken by a reminder from one scientist - that in nature, more-often-than-not - waste is not an end product as the human species would have it.

In nature, for example, what is waste to one life form is sustenance to another.

The scientific team assembled here argue that it's time mankind focused on these kinds of solutions in order to survive in the future.

The film is a bit talky, and preachy, and there's an awful lot of scientific info to digest; but, maybe that's the medicine the modern man needs spoon-fed to him so that he will sit up and take notice.

But, the 11th Hour is not all doom, and gloom, or just a downer.

The film proceeds to offer up suggestions and exciting alternatives for the future.

The number one priority appears to be to build sustainable buildings, for instance; after all, there is a need for the planning and development of structures with an eye towards solar power, recycling of waste, and harmonious compatibility with the environment.

At this juncture - when the producers show rooftop gardens and windmill energy and leading edge technology to recycle waste - the possibilities appear to be exciting, overwhelming, and downright encouraging!

The future may be an exciting new road to travel down, if we give it a chance.

At the Q & A afterward, reps from two major environmental action-groups fielded questions about ways in which consumers can help.

It all starts at home with each individual doing their part: recycling, installing solar panels on rooftops, using clean energy.

Al Gore...for president?

On the heels of a Nobel Peace Prize this past week, supporters have run have a full page ad in the New York Times urging the former VP, Al Gore, to run for President in 2008.

In a bid to prompt a response in the affirmative, the "open letter" to Gore, reminds the tireless environmental activist of comments he made in December, 2000,

"I do have one regret: that I didn't get the chance to stay and fight for the American people...especially for those who need burdens lifted and barriers removed, especially for those who feel their voices have not been heard. I heard you and I will not forget."

The group then takes a leap and argues that Gore has obviously not fallen out of love with his country, and that the country needs him now, as does his party and the planet he is fighting hard to save.

Potent musings!

A quote by Jarret Wold, Minot, N.D. is the capper, though,

"There's no higher calling than when a Nation asks for you to lead. We're asking you now to lead, and hope you'll rise to it."

Will he?

If he throws his hat into the ring, the political arena should heat up.

And there should be a lot of fodder for the pundits to feed off...

I've coined this one in anticipation of the race,

Can Al "Gore" Hillary in the next election?

If he does run, it may also be a case of "two stars" colliding...

Gore, after all, is the "main constellation " in the galaxy on Global warming, whereas Fred Thompson is a "star" in his own right - having played a handful of high-profile types in several big-budget Hollywood productions - on occasion, even walking in the shoes of imaginary presidents!

Then, there's the case of Obama...

Gore goes for Barack - er - broke?

Yeah, with a little play on words, the cartoonists should be able to make hay while the sun shines.

In the final analysis, can we really endure another tiresome round of "hanging chads" and sleight of hand at the polling stations?

I say give the man a shot...

But, is he "gore-ho" - uh - "gung-ho" enough to fight the good fight?

Or maybe he's just a sly suitor, waiting to be courted?

You can do that, by signing a petition at: www.draftgore.com

By casting your vote, the man - "that almost was" - may be able to size up the stakes and hazard a guess as to where to hedge his bets!

In the closing "argument", his dream team notes,

"Mr. Vice President, there are times for politicians and times for heroes. America and the earth need a hero right now - someone who will transcend politics as usual and bring real hope to our country and to the world. Please rise to the challenge or you and millions of us will live forever wondering what might have been."

Not me!

But I am inclined to give Gore some slack with a couple of campaign promises...

One, that he arrange for a chauffeur for Al Gore, Jr.

After all, we don't want him maiming any trees along the highway now, do we?

And, that the former VP pass on "passionate" kisses with Tipper - particularly the showy, forced kind, he's prone to plant smack dab on her lips in the most awkward of moments when a camera's present.

Also, please...no further claims to have invented the Internet!

But, I will concede: Mr. Gore did not create "global warming" as a gaggle of his skeptics accused when "Inconvenient Truth" was released.

And, as Columbo would say, "...just one more thing"...

Try not to be so wooden when you stand at the podium - or anywhere, for that matter - and keep the boring talk to a minimum; yeah, spice up the dialogue with a couple of colorful anecdotes, or maybe a few "Reaganisms", for good measure!

That's about it...

And yes, may the best man - you, too, Hillary - win!

Bill Clinton...Viagra ad?

In the future I may be a little more cautious when I bend over and snatch up the Sunday paper...why?

Recently, the LA TIMES featured a handful of snapshots of politicians in various clinches - lip-locks with the Gores, the Giulianis - and yes - the Clintons.

Heh, I nearly lost my breakfast!

The caption read, "...in '08 a little leg may go a long way".

If sex sells, the probing Journalist theorizes, aspiring couples in the Presidential race - knowingly or not - may bring the issue to the fore.

The thrust of the article is whether "public displays of affection" (or PDA's,the code word we used as kids to signal a date to get the paws off) are an asset to a campaign or not.

One expert opines, "Politicians often say that a candidate's spouse is a negligible factor when it comes to choosing a candidate".

"A candidate's spouse has to be a possible enhancement, if not - at least cause no harm."

Well, in the instance of John Kerry, it may have been true.

How many voters were comfortable with the idea of the ketchup bottle heiress roaming the hallowed halls of the White House swilling an expensive glass of wine in hand?

If the photos are any indication, it is evident that calculated press ops should be kept at bay.

The Al & Tipper smooch is not only reminiscent of the forced one Michael Jackson planted on Lisa Marie's pert lips, but also the dry, uncomfortable peck Cruise tried to launch on Katie Holmes (Mission: Impossible).

The Giuliani still appeared staged and phony in one sense.

The Body Language - especially the prominent hand grips by both partners - on arm, shoulder, and face (!) - suggested that His Honor was holding on for dear life - lest the trophy wife take flight; while his other half may have been clutching just as fiercely for fear he'd catch the eye of a seductress seeking to be number four wife.

Notwithstanding, the impression elucidated subliminally, is that of sublime bondage, perhaps.

The shot of the Clintons takes the prize, though.

The whole attitude of the photograph - their stance - and especially her bare legs and his noticeable lack of muscle tone (the line in the song goes something like this: with a figure less than Greek...) offers up something entirely unique.

The image reminds me of two has-been celebrities trotted out on "Dancing with the Stars" - workin' out their moves - and praying for a second chance at the brass ring.

It'd make a good ad for Viagra or a time-share, without doubt.

One has to wonder, does Hillary still hanker for nookie with Bill?

Gee, if we don't ask, maybe they won't tell.