Lindsay Lohan...trots gauntlet to the slammer! Robert Shapiro quits?

Is Lindsay Lohan still drifting in-and-out of dreamland in her cozy bed on the West Coast in an upscale enclave right now - or tossing and turning at her wit's end - trying to fathom her fate at the crack of dawn on drug-related charges?

Robert Shapiro took over the role of "Attorney of Record" on Friday - but, wait a minute - is he pulling a fast one like he did on the O.J. Simpson case?

Bowing out, so soon, Robert?

Reliable sources are tittering that after Shapiro promptly ensconced the troubled starlet into a prestigious rehab over the weekend, by Monday night he had already quit!

Earlier, on Monday afternoon, Shapiro was spied holding court with Judge Marshal Revel for some inexplicable reason.

Was Shapiro testing the waters to determine how Her Honor was "leaning"?

Obviously, in view of the scuttlebutt, the diminuitive star of the legal circuit wasn't happy with the way the wrangling went down.

Some speculated that Shapiro's ploy was to first install Lindsay in rehab - and based on an alleged critical need for "Emergency" intervention - then demand that Lindsay be granted a precious "stay-out-of-jail" card.

Judging by the alleged outcome, Shapiro needs a new Shaman!

Amidst a blitz of clawing media hounds, curiosity-seekers, and fans - Lohan will purr up to the curb in a limo later this morning, slip into a packed court-room, and summarily surrender her sexy bod to the Sheriff who may (or may not) hand-cuff the popular actress before hauling her off to a cold grey cell.

Will she cry out - "Mom!" - like a certain young heiress was inclined to a scant few seasons ago?

News at 11!

Paparazzi about to descend like flies on shit!

(Beverly Hills)

http://www.julianayrs.com

Lindsay Lohan...slick mag mirrors Starlet's empty future!

Who's sorry now?

 

At press time, the editors at Complex Magazine were in the throes of fleshing out Lindsay Lohan for a one-on-one interview to bolster up a bikini-clad publicity still slated to grace the next sizzling-hot cover.

The bedraggled starlet has been somewhat elusive of late, in spite of a promise to follow through with a sit-down chat with the editors, with the express intent of playfully focusing on Marc Ecko's publicatiion in a collaboration with artist Kaws titled "Little Girls Lost".

This late in the game, and desperate for an escape-hatch, Complex Magazine conjured up a novel way to sidestep the interview-less issue without getting egg on the face.

In an intriguing approach, editors elected to document a mad-cap chase, in which their inventive reporters sought to snatch up a few choice quotes from  the elusive starlet.

"Emails have gone unanswered; the same for voicemails we left with her mom, Dina. When you don't have a publicist and your personal assistant resigns, it's a lot easier to disappear," growled a magazine spokesperson.

So, there was no other alternative, eh?

Meanwhile, it is doubtful that Lohan will escape the long arm of the law!

In fact, insiders have whispered that she was full of trepidation about the prospect of turning herself in to face the harsh sentence imposed by a BH Judge.

"She was nervous, a fidgety mess, and her legal team, family and friends were very concerned about her fragile state," a "People" source disclosed after jottting down the erratic behaviour for future reference at one of Logan's gatherings at Pickford rehab.

In fact, the upcoming trek to the Los Angeles Lynwood Correctional Facilitiy, is sure to result in disappearing act of another kind (for at least 45 days) once she strips down and steps into the only couture outfit crafted for inmates on the  paltry prison payroll.

Glorified PJ's in monochromatic hues?

News at 11!

Drunk as a skunk!

http://www.julianayrs.com/

Steve Cooley...staff in District Attorney's office engage in conspiracies! Ignore Statutes! Violate Citizens' Rights!

Currently I have information, facts, and evidence in my possession - that establishes that lawyers in the District Attorney's office in downtown Los Angeles - have been engaging in a conspiracy to cover up incompetence and wrong-doing on their part to avoid recrimination.

In addition, the documents indicate that Steve Cooley's staff may have sought to protect retailers  (payola involved?) at the expense of hapless individuals who were denied their right to due process.

For example, lawyers ignored complainants' entitlement to a full investigation of the legal issues -  pursuant to applicable State and Federal Statutes - and proceeded to make wild false accusations (assumed guilt) once they thought they were in the clear.

Although, the destruction of paperwork their end may have been a simple deceitful task to undertake, it was a more difficult prospect to erase the trail the dim-witted Officers of the Court (!) left behind.

I expect the dishonest legal eagles in Cooley's office slipped up - humans are inclined to make mistakes, after all - or were they just too stupid to realize in advance that third parties may have tucked away copies of the incriminating documents under lock-and-key for safe-keeping?

In retrospect, it appears that Cooley's lackeys also forgot one of the golden rules of lawyering.

If you don't know the answer to a question, don't ask it!

Likewise, don't instruct a defendant to try on a pair of gloves in an open courtroom unless the outcome is obvious.

"If it doesn't fit, you must acquit."

Yup!

There are a few smoking guns for Cooley to pussy-foot around.

Just yesterday, I mailed out a communication by U.S. Post, with a request that the ambitious political peacock respond in writing with the particulars.

Is there a scandal brewing on the horizon?

Stay posted!

http://www.thetattler.biz

O.J. Simpson...sentenced to a minimum of 15 years by Vegas Judge.

"What we have is satisfaction that this monster is where he belongs behind bars."

That was the response of Ron Goldman's father, after O. J. Simpson was convicted on charges of armed robbery and led away to prison earlier today.

"There's never really any closure. Ron is still gone," Mr. Goldman sadly elaborated.

When the former Heisman Trophy winner stood at the sentencing hearing, it was quite an emotional moment for the man who many still allege murdered his former wife - Nicole Simpson and her friend Ron Goldman - in spite of an acquittal in a Los Angeles court room years ago.



As he stood face-to-face with Judge Jackie Glass, the jurist quickly delivered the perimeters of his punishment after he made a tear-eyed plea for mercy.

"I didn't want to steal anything from anyone. ... I'm sorry, sorry."

The cries fell on deaf ears.

In fact, the Judge denied a request for Mr. Simpson to remain free on bail, pending the outcome of an appeal expected to be lodged with the higher court in the near future.

As if anticipating a backlash from Simpson's lawyers, friends, and supporters Judge Glass made a point of noting several times that her sentence in the Las Vegas case had nothing to do with the Simpson legal proceedings in 1994 in which he got off scott-free.

"I'm not here to try and cause any retribution or any payback for anything else," Glass stated matter-of-fact for the record.

Co-defendant - Clarence "C. J." Stewart - was also was sentenced to at least 15 years.

O.J. Simpson...guilty! Las Vegas jury convicts...

Just before 11 p.m. last night, the verdict was read by the Jury foreman.

"Guilty!"

A panel of nine women and three men deliberated more than thirteen hours before rendering their decision.

Mr. Simpson, and his accomplice - Clarence Stewart - were convicted on twelve counts stemming from a much-publicized armed robbery and kidnapping incident which took place last year in Las Vegas (NV).

After the verdict was read, the Heisman Trophy winner was cuffed by a deputy and led away to await sentencing.

Although there were three weeks of testimony to sift over, insiders say it was a handful of secret audio recordings, that probably turned the screws on O. J. Simpson and his partner in crime, Clarence Stewart.

The tapes were damning, for sure.

The defense attorney's argument that the altercation - which took place in a hotel room in the gambling mecca in the desert oasis - was simply a botched attempt to recover memorabilia stolen from Mr. Simpson just didn't fly.

"You may all say he didn't use common sense. But the real issue is whether he had criminal intent to commit a crime," attorney Yale Galanter argued in closing statements.

The prosecutors, on the other hand, managed to convince the jury that the armed robbery was masterminded by Simpson who called upon five disreputable ruffians to carry out his nefarious plan.

The state established in the eyes of the jury that Simpson and his cohorts robbed the victims at gunpoint after they were tricked into thinking they were going to savor a windfall sale with a wealthy collector.

Chris Owens, the State prosecutor on the case, convincingly argued that "they thought they could spin it" because - after all - it was Simpson's stuff anyway.

The jury found differently.

O. J. maintained he never saw any guns during the shake-down - in spite of the fact witnesses testified at trial that they packed two revolvers that day - a .45 caliber Ruger and a .22 caliber Beretta - at Simpson's request.

But, it was probably a twenty-six minute encounter which was slyly taped after the ballsy robbery, that probably did the former NFL player in.

One of the gunman met with Simpson at a local restaurant after the robbery and was questioned as to whether he "pulled out the piece" in the hotel hallway.

Simpson was anxiety-stricken over the possibility that the overt act may have been captured on the Hotel's security cameras for future referenc.

Clearly, Simpson was trying to determine if there was any evidence on tape establishing the brandishing of guns, so he could tailor his defense accordingly.

During the course of the trial, friends and business associates turned against Simpson to protect their own hides.

In return for becoming state witnesses, four of the accused were permitted to plead guilty on lesser charges.

The counts of armed robbery and kidnapping against Simpson and Stewart carry potential life sentences.


I goofed!