Expensive fabrics draped the toned bodies of pretty contestants dripping with dazzling gems, Hotelier Donald Trump urged television viewers to stay tuned because - after all - it was a live show (and “anything might happen“) - and a celebrity panel of well heeled Judges (which included one of the Baldwin boys, actress Jane Seymour, and ice-skater Evan Lysacek) struggled with the tough task ahead.
Selecting a candidate to be crowned Ms. Universe 2010 was not going to be an easy assignment - especially in view of the bevy of breath-taking beauties who turned out - in a bold-faced effort to snatch up the coveted title.
The telecast broadcast from glitzy Las Vegas was a splashy entertaining extravaganza which occasionally crossed the line and became a two hour commercial touting hair products, luxury resorts, and a surreal superficial dream that smacked of crass commercialism (though attainable).
What do you expect from "The Donald" - who co-host Brett Michaels referred to as - the Rock Star of real estate development?
The pageant contestants - who were little more than glorified Ambassadors of beauty for a host of Nations - strutted the stage in chic designer threads, bared their souls in backstage confessions, and ultimately fought tooth-and-nail underneath thick skin for a shot at a Diamond Nexus Crown and a swag bag that included a designer wardrobe, a year's supply of hair products, a closet-full of shoes, you name it.
In a dramatic moment - geared towards uncovering the stuff each model was made of - five of the finalists selected a question from a glass jar (transparency is important now-a-days in view of past scandals) to expound their lofty thoughts on.
One young woman noted that she wasn’t opposed to body scans at airports if it was going to save lives.
Another gorgeous gal appeared to miss the point when she objected to Government laws that enforced codes of dress in public, social, or work environs.
"Women should be able to wear what they want," she quipped without batting a make-up-laden eye-lash.
The root of the issue - religious considerations, for example - totally escaped her.
Did a government have a right to bar a modern woman from observing her cultural leanings or religious faith?
One sly gal asserted there were no incidents in her past to be concerned about - then confidently - gushed to the Judges that there was nothing she would do differently in her short life to date as a consequence.
Someone will probably drag out erotic nude photos of her nubile young bod in the near future, just betcha!
At this juncture, the gracious entrant thanked her family and friends for their loving support.
Brett Michaels was okay as a co-host and managed to pull off the task without any hitches.
I guess Ryan Seacrest wasn't available.
Brett was impeccably turned-out in an elegant black tux which featured satin flourishes on the lapels, shoulders and pockets, velvet button-down vest, and dress shirt open at the collar.
A silly necklace - and ubiquitous bandanna - turned the look into a fashion disaster in the final analysis, though.
Was he covering up a receding hairline, thinning hair, or what?
The fashion parade of designer gowns modelled by the beauty Queens was a visual delight.
As John Fever tickled the ivories - and belted out a ballad - the stunning models floated across the stage and wowed the captive packed house below the footlights who excitedly broke into raucous rounds of applause throughout the heady evening.
The outfits ran the gamut from elegant and chic to dowdy and overdone.
Miss Ireland's necklace competed with a gown that - on its own - may have survived close scrutiny otherwise.
The contestant from Albania was stunning, on the other hand, in an open-backed diamond-studded gown accessorized with tasteful jewellery.
The gown worn by Ms. Philippines bellowed a big bow and long train which turned out to be a lot of excess baggage that bogged her look down (in my estimation).
The aqua number by Miss Jamaica was downright tacky - mainly due to the fact - there was too much design effort at the chest and waistline that distracted and weighed the outfit down.
The red flowing designer piece - with ruby button flourishes setting off a neckline - was a winner worn by Miss Mexico
In essence, the Pageant was all about knock-out female beauties, their heavenly charms, and the swirl of perfumed air they waft on.
The Miss Universe broadcast included product breaks backstage - where reps from the sponsors of hair pricey products such as CHI - shared techniques in hair styling.
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Tips, that required the use of the house brands provided by the sponsors, naturally.
Donald Trump - that rascal - took advantage of the broadcast to give Las Vegas and Nevada tourist hot spots a pushy plug.
Well-crafted video clips of Lake Mead (reservoir), Seven Sisters, and the Grand Canyon appealed to the senses - as far as contrived fluff goes - anyhoo.
The ladies demonstrated they were unselfish caring individuals when it was revealed that a part of the pageant activities included a drive to raise funds for a Nevada cancer charity.
The MGM Grand, the Mirage, Mandalay Bay (who hosted the pageant in their luxurious banquet room) and the Monte Carlo Resort were also featured in a larger-than-life promo that stressed how tactless a snake-oil-salesman Trump can be when given the chance.
One highlight of the night was a number - featuring five or six Elvis look-a-likes - performing a number from the sold out Cirque du Soleil live stage show titled Viva Las Vegas.
Male viewers were probably on the edge of their seats at home, panting over the swim suit segment, which was sizzling hot.
Models - perky, sensual, flirty - slipped into flimsy sexy bikinis (and heels) and walked-the-walk confidently as they savored their moment in the International sun.
Amidst the strains of "Hunka Burning Love", the girls paraded by, all flawless skin and lustrous "do's".
The set - crafted in grey metal - was too austere, though.
Cold, emotionless, too corporate.
Like the Ms.Universe competition?
Ms. Australia was chosen by her peers to take honors for Ms. Congeniality.
The TV viewing audience was given the opportunity to vote on the most photogenic model and best costume, to their delight.
In both instances, the fans chose Ms. Thailand.
When it came to the climatic moment to crown the new Ms. Universe there weren't any surprises.
1st runner up was Ms. Jamaica (who had been received well by the wild enthusiastic audience all evening).
But, a classic Latino beauty - with wide dark eyes and flawless skin - nabbed the Crown.
In view of all the illegal Mexican immigrant ink running rampant in recent days, I expect the honor boosted the country's pride in their homeland last night and on these troubled political shores.
In a heartfelt moment, the losing contestants swarmed the shy winner, and offered up congratulations like they really meant it.
Oh, there probably wasn't a dry eye in the house.
Yeah, I'm a sucker for schmaltz, too.
Excuse me while I go grab a hankie and blow my nose.
Til next year!
Larry King gives the "Donald" hair tip!
