Mr. Manners (aka Julian Ayrs)...grocery bag etiquette! Walgreens worst offender!

In recent days, immigrants from around the globe have been flooding the country; consequently, a handful of our American customs are at risk - could very well fall by-the-wayside - if the citizenry does not stand up and take action to preserve the status quo.

For example, when a  U.S. resident strolls up to the cashier at a business establishment, they have a reasonable expectation that their groceries (and other precious goods) will be carefully packed into an appropriate bag so they may be toted all-the-way home without difficulty.

Now-a-days, when a shopper pays the bill - instead of grabbing for a bag - the counter-person is more inclined to linger for a moment or simply look away before awkwardly cutting to the chase.

"Do you want a bag," they finally snipe at the customer, as they wrinkle up their nose in distaste.

At this juncture, I am inclined to respond with a knee-jerk reaction, for starters.

"If you can afford one, please!"

Gosh, I sure hope that was a slap in the face.

In some primitive cultures, the natives simply balance the fruits and vegetables on their heads - or in the alternative - tuck 'em in the hem of their skirt (I guess!).

But, in America, we tend to be a tad more sophisticated than that!

There is a pratical reason for providing a bag, too.

If a customer waltzes out the door with purchase in hand, some overzealous security guard with shit for brains may mistakenly surmise that the individual is guilty of a five-finger discount!

Go figure!

Bottom line?

If these grocers can't afford to provide a bag up-front (without questions asked) they shouldn't be in the business of providing goods and services.

You know what they say.

Penny wise. Pound foolish.

No bag?

Then, I'll pass on patronizing your store, too.

http://www.thetattler.biz

Walgreens & 99 cent store worst offenders!

Mr. Manners...tipping not a place in China! Waitress's rude rant on Fox!

On a local Fox "rant" segment on the evening news the other evening a tired old waitress complained that gamblers on the Casino floor were not coughing up coin of the realm for drinkie-poohs she plunked down by their one-armed bandits while they were busy trying their luck.

"Las Vegas is a tipping town," she hissed on the station's voice mail unit.

"If you aren't going to tip, then don't come to Las Vegas," she angrily added before slamming down the telephone.

Boy, does this loser have shit for brains!

A few days ago, I published guidelines on tipping in the exotic desert oasis, and underscored in particular that tips were discretionary in Vegas (and cited the reasons why).

Post:  06/22/2011

http://ijulian.blogspot.com/2011/06/mr-mannersrude-bellagio-waitress-shakes.html

If that was not the case, Management would impose a mandatory surcharge of 10% - 15% on each tab like they do overseas in Europe.

Just try to stiff a snooty French waiter at a sidewalk cafe!

On this side of the big pond, it's a simple matter to hustle up a tip, though.

For starters, move your ass, honey!

And, deliver up the cocktail promptly, with a smile on your face (and a cheerful disposition if at all possible).

Surely your face won't crack!

Standing around with your thumb up your butt begging for tips just doesn't cut it.

Have you no self-respect?

Bottom line?

Don't punish the patrons because you hate your job and have to toil to make ends meet.

If you can't cut it, then hang up your apron, and make room for a thankful employee who pines for a job in these tough economic times.

Tipping may not be a place in China - but it is also not compulsory - especially when it comes to lay-abouts without any work ethic who expect the world to pay their way in life.

As Joan Rivers would quip:

Grow up!

http://www.thetattler.biz

Mr. Manners...rude Bellagio waitress shakes down tourists for tips! Poor Etiquette!

An incident at the Bellagio Hotel & Casino yesterday afternoon prompted me to enlist the aid of Mr. Manners to pen an essay on proper etiquette when it comes to tipping in glitzy Las Vegas (or elsewhere for that matter).

Normally, when a patron gambles on the Casino floor - at the slots or at a gaming table - cocktails, soft drinks, water, even beer - are on the house.

The "lubricating" drinks are not only geared to elevate a guest into a happy-go-lucky mood - but also - offered up with the hope that the gambler may be more inclined to part with a bit of cash in favor of the cashier's gate, too.

Just try to secure a drinkie-pooh from a tired old cocktail waitress if it appears you are not a whale about to drop a truckload of cash at the tables - or at a minimum - fritter away a fistful of bucks on the one-armed bandit scattered about the dazzling premises.

In view of the foregoing, I have a tipping structure that I follow - whenever I zip into my favorite Casino - to plug a handful of coins into the inviting 3-D slots strategically-placed about the floor of the Hotel environs.

If the waitress delivers up a lone beer - or a glass of quality white wine - I usually tip a buck (provided I haven't been forced to wait a half-an-hour-or-so to quench my thirst once I have stepped inside the establishment to take a respite from the sizzling-hot afternoon desert sun).

If I ordered an exotic cocktail, the stages get higher, and I generally toss at least two dollar bills on the tray (with a smile and a thank you very much).

But, when it comes to soft drinks or regular water, I usually pass on a tip for good reason.

For example, if I sit at the slots for a couple of hours - and consume four or five cokes - I'll end up frittering away a fiver at least.

In these tough economic times?

No way, Jose!

Especially if the handful of sodas (?) consist mostly of packed ice, water, and a dollop of syrup.

Yup!

What they offer up at Bellagio (and elsewhere on the glitzy Vegas strip)  is not even real coke, folks!

Judging by the response I get from a large percentage of the waitresses on duty, my tip structure is acceptable, because it is reasonable and practical (bottom line).

In fact, more often-than-not, a server is inclined to respond to my take on tipping in a respectful manner.

"If you need anything else, just wave me down," they usually stress with sincerity in their voice.

So, you can imagine how surprised I was yesterday afternoon when an uncouth waitress proceeded to linger at my side (after she plunked the coke down) in a diabolical bold-faced effort to intimidate - and ultimately - coerce some moolah out of me.

Sheesh!

What gall.

As a rule, a well-brought-up waitress -with a modicum of good manners - usually cruises up, slips soda down, then drifts off in the event coin of the realm is not offered up.

No big deal for someone with class!  
In contrast, the shocking behaviour of the hag at the Bellagio - was not only inappropriate - but underscored poor breeding and a total lack of etiquette.

Amen!

http://www.thetattler.biz

Mr. Manners...right side of escalator, please! Proper etiquette in public!

Pick one! Any one!
(But, follow escalator etiquette, please!)

Readers may recall that I started up a new advice column a couple of weeks ago (Mr. Manners) which focuses on proper etiquette and good manners in social, political (even economic) settings.

The first installment dealt with the issue of speaking English in appropriate environments.

Post:  11/24/10

http://ijulian.blogspot.com/2010/11/mr-mannersenglish-in-businesses.html

Today - Mr. Manners is tackling the sticky issue of escalators - and subsequently - traffic flow!

If any of you have ever been to San Francisco, then you've probably noticed that the locals in that fair city are a civilized lot.

On the way to the office at the crack of dawn, for instance, pedestrians wait patiently at the curb for a "green light" before sauntering across to the other side.

Unlike folks in Los Angeles and Tokyo - who end up in a free-for-all in the subway (pushing and shoving for bragging rights) - residents of the City by the picturesque Bay are also inclined to queue up politely along the track and take their turns boarding (according to when they alighted on the "landing pad") the trains shortly after they swoosh to a precise stop at the station.

Though that issue may need addressing in the near future, today - the glare of the spotlight is being focused squarely on the topsy-turvy realm of fast-moving escalators - because things are getting darn ugly after all.

For your information, proper etiquette dictates - that there are two options to follow - when a commuter shuffles on to an escalator.

For example, when passengers are arriving or departing from the underground subway (the English refer to it as "the tube"), they should  - not only step lively onto the escalator - but position themselves on the right side of the escalator with their body hugging the side of the rail.

Or - enter the automated stairwell on the left (in the alternative) - where they'll be free (hopefully) to stride up the steely steps in earnest in the event the hapless souls are late for work and anxious to make headway at every nip-and-turn along-the-way).

Standing in a stationary position on the left (directly opposite the individual on the right) is definitely taboo.

If anything - the selfish conduct simply underscores that the individual in question is either an unsophisticated loser who just scurried out-from-under a slimy rock in the boondocks somewhere - or a thoughtless boob.

Of course, the courtesy is not required (or possible for that matter) at tony Neiman Marcus, where the escalators to the upper levels of the upscale retail outlet in Beverly Hills are barely one-and-a-half  feet wide.

In that scenario, a buffoon with lousy manners would have to be an acrobat to get by a shopper firmly ensconced on the stair ahead with packages in tow.

Nuff said!

By the way, cruise on by in January for the next intriguing subject:

"Check-out line protocol at the local supermarket"

Happy Holidays!

http://www.thetattler

Civilized San Franciscans out for a stroll!

Mr. Manners...English in businesses, Government offices & hospitals! Please!





In this first installment of Mr. Manners - in this regular weekly feature at the Tattler - it's important to state drive home first things first!

We're mad as heck - the polite word to use in mixed company, folks - in Los Angeles (and elsewhere around the country, I expect) and we're not going to take it anymore!

If no one has lamented this in the past, then let me be the one to enlighten the teaming masses.

There's no scenario worse (or ruder, for that matter) than one in which a couple of immigrants are inclined to speak in a second language - Spanish, Russian, Chinese, you name it - resulting in an English-speaking citizen being excluded from the conversation.

This is particularly so, when the location happens to be a business entity, hospital facililty, or Government Office.

Indeed, boorish conduct such as this - not only amounts to bad manners - but reaches the level of a tasteless lack of etiquette in a polite society.

Unless, of course, there are no other English-speaking residents within ear shot!

And, common-place International greetings, aside.

That said?

Ciao, baby!

http://www.thetattler.biz

Mr. Manners...launches advice column on the Tattler!



A few years ago, I penned a popular column on manners and etiquette under the catchy by-line of Mr. Manners.

Needless to say - the undertaking was always a complete-and-utter hoot - for the duration I slaved away on the weekly column (which aised a few hackles now-and-then by the way).

Since I have returned to the multi-cultural "Big Bad Orange" - it has not escaped my attention - that the madding classes are more-often-than-not clashing (at blows!) because of cultural, social, and politically-incorrect differences.

So, in the city's hour of need, I have elected to start up the column once again - if only to smooth the way for the huddled masses drifting aimlessly through a sea of uncertainty about deep-rooted traditions (and misguided assumptions) - so they may ultimately gain a footing in this great country without rubbing the locals the wrong way!

The first installment launches tomorrow - so cruise on by - eh?





http://www.thetattler.biz

Laptop...No etiquette @ Cedars Sinai! Mr. Manners scorns nosey-parkers! Get a life!

What dreary unfulfilled lives they must lead.

Of course - I am referring to cafe hogs who gang up on electrical outlets in order to charge their pricey state-of-the-Art gizmos (of the kind President Obama warned us about) - without any consideration for the rest of the patrons pining for a spark of the vital stuff.

If that weren't uncooth enough, nurses on duty breezed in to my hospital room at whim (under the guise of tidying up) and surreptiously cranked their heads this way 'n that in order to peruse my musings on the computer screen.

I was always taught that this kind of conduct was rude and insulting and an outright iinvasion of privacy.

One perky nurse by the unlikely name of Rosetta strode into the bathroom while I was on the toilet and went about her business.

Miss, if you want some kinky thrills, saunter over to one of the sleaze-bag Hotels on Sunset, and book a room there.

No freebies at Cedars-Sinai.

The fact that Ms. Congeniality was totally oblivious to her glaring  inappropriate conduct underscored what a classless low-life woman (I use the term loosely) is.

Did it never occur to this fast-talking gal from Georgia that a man (Don't know about the ladies) would prefer a little privacy when they're comfortably ensconced on the throne in the bathroom of their home?

Later, the same empty-headed hospital employee, maneuvered herself next to my laptop in order to take note of the data I was keying into my laptop for publication on the Internet.

Fed up, I subtly lowered the lid of the computer to get the message across -  and likewise - block her view.

She must have cheese for brains.

After departing for a few moments, she found some worthless excuse to return to my hospital room - at which poiint - she continued with her disturbing behavior.

It's evident to me now, the nurse has serious psychological problems, which need therapy.

You're not in Kansas anymore, Miss.

Wake up and smell the pampers!

http://www.thetattler.biz

UCLA Cafeteria...food servers need a philosophy to follow!

Yestersday morning, I spied a server on the counter at the UCLA cafeteria hastily slapping food down on the plates - in an assembly-line slapdash fashion - with little regard for the customers who deserved better.

Obviously, the young Asian student was trapped in a part-time job she hated to make ends meet, and was just biding her time 'til the end of the shift when she'd be free as a bird once again.

After I witnessed her bad attitude and further established a total lack of excellence in her approach - or any striving for it in her work - a thought crossed my mind.

If I was a server, I'd have a philosophy to follow, to ensure I never slipped up

Unlike sloppy Josephine, I'd treat each meal like it was a plate of food I was specially-preparing for myself.

With a compass like that to guide me throughout the day, just imagine the welcome culinary delights I'd turn out.

Booker T. Washington said it best:

Excellence is to do a common thing in an uncommon way

http://www.julianayrs.com

Amy Vanderbilt...proper suicide etiquette? Good manners essential...

Amy Vanderbilt was known for being an authority on good manners.

The insightful classy woman was educated in Switzerland and at Packer Collegiate Institute (Brooklyn) in her formative years, but later sought a degree at New York University.

Miss Vanderbilt (her father was related to Cornelius Vanderbilt) worked in advertising and public relations fresh off the campus.

During that time frame, the prim and proper blueblood conjured up the idea for her 1st book:

"Amy Vanderbilt's complete book of Etiquette".

The best-seller - which took five years of research - is still in circulation today and remains an important reference guide on the subject matter.

Some of her thoughts on etiquette may have fallen by the wayside in the new millennium.

But, many would be wise to pay heed to 'em, nonetheless.

For example, on the subject of dinner conversation, she astutely instructed:

"Do not speak of repulsive matters at table."

To social climbers, the reason is obvious.

An eyebrow or two was raised in polite society when she came up with this little ditty on the issue of cougars on-the-prowl in the big city:

"The modern rule is that every woman should be her own chaperon."

Once the Grand Dame was established in the publishing world, she managed to springboard into the lucrative broadcast market where she continued to make headway in America as the undisputed reigning Queen of Etiquette as early as 1952.

The society maven's highly-rated TV Show "It's in Good Taste", for example, enjoyed a successful run from 1952 thru 1960.

When "Taste" wrapped in 1960, Ms. Vanderbilt was offered an opportunity to host another show - "The Right Thing To Do" - which was broadcast on air from 1960 to 1962 much to the delight of her wide fan base.

On December 27, 1974, Vanderbilt died from multiple fractures of the skull when she plummeted from the second-floor window of a townhouse she resided in on the fashionable upper east side of Manhattan.

To protect her name and reputation - and in honor of her loving memory, no doubt - good friends asserted that she must have slipped and fallen due to the dizzying effects of medications for hypertension which may have caused her to lose her balance.

Cynics asserted that she took her own life - and wondered aloud at the time - if it was proper etiquette to commit suicide on public property.

On the subject of the partaking of tobacco, Amy Vanderbilt once instructed:

"Do not smoke without asking permission or sit so near (as in a train) that the smoke might annoy."

Advice that rings true today, doesn't it?

http://www.julianayrs.com