MTV Awards...Robert Pattinson best deep-throater! Justin Bieber nabs jaw-dropper honors!

The spirits were high (at a fever pitch), the schmoozing was rife with superficial moments, and the bewitching sequel to "Twilight" once again swept Pop Culture's most coveted award!

And, there were scintillating titillating thrills, courtesy of a wayward Vampire.

For instance, when sexy Robert Pattinson was declared winner for - "Best Kiss" - he sighed that he wasn't in the mood to kiss his main squeeze of the month - at which point - he was inclined to plant a wet sloppy one on studly co-star Taylor Lautner.

Golden Boy Launtner - known for his washboard abs and impeccable pecs - was totally taken by surprise (or was he?).

Vampires don't discriminate when it comes to fresh blood, after all!

Pattinson - a respected Brit - also got the nod for "Best Actor" for his performance in the popular blood-thirsty thriller (Twilight) which took North America by storm over the past three years!

Meanwhile, Kristen Stewart - sometimes a bit press-shy - was honored for her portrayal of the lead in Twilight's "Eclipse" also.

On the heels of the announcement that the best-seller (effectively adapted for the silver screen in a trilogy) was named best flick for the third year in a row, hunky Lautner was quick on-the-uptake and gushed for the cameras and fans in attendance alike.

"The fact we're standing here is a testament to all the hard work that went into Eclipse," Lautner asserted boldy, as his co-stars nodded in agreement

Justin Bieber - pop flavor of the month - scored with fans when his project - "Never say Never" - beat out the competition for "Best Jaw-Breaking Moment".

A handful of silly award categories (Biggest Badass star?) - and a gaudy Popcorn Trophy - underscored (to moi at least) that the celebrations were all tongue-in-cheek.

In fact, one actor said it all, when he stressed what an honor it was being singled out.

"This will look very nice in my downstairs toilet," chortled Tom Felton ("Best Villain" for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Part I)).

Nuff said.

'Til next year.

http://www.thetattler.biz/

Miley Cyrus...hot single with catchy beat! A tigress on fire!

 

Miley Cyrus's fans will be kicking up their heels to the catchy beat of the young music whiz's sizzlin' hot new single -"Who owns my Heart" - on the dance floor in coming weeks.

After all, the video is a jolt - an adrenalin rush - no matter how 'ya cut it!

But, as usual, sexy smiley Miley is anxious to get a message across.

In a couple of gushing interviews over the weekend, the pretty young star of the pop charts (and silver screen, too) was anxious to chat about the thrust of her latest creative endeavour to all within earshot.

"It's just about freeing yourself from anything you think is holding you back, And, I think that's really important, especially for girls, because so many people are told - 'No, you can't do something' - or 'You need to be this because Mom and Dad say that, teachers say this'."

Holding 'ya back from what?

Catching fire?

Miley, you've caught the tail end of a comet, and you're hot!

You go, girl!

http://www.thetattler.biz

Cher & Lady GaGa...MTV fashion disasters collide!

What was the big 64 dollar - um - age-old question asked last night?

Is Cher finally over the proverbial hill?

In 1989 - the crotch & lacy-wrap number she graced the MTV Video Awards  stage with - rocked the house.

Last night?

The MTV  youngsters & punksters rolled their vamped-up-eyes - and no doubt - thought the other half of Sonny should have crawled under a prehistoric rock!

Even an appearance on the glittering stage by Lady Gaga - to accept Best Video Award - couldn't revive the tired old Diva's dead persona.

In fact, the "Monster Queen" all-the-rage on tour, should have re-thunk her less-than-meaty threads for the splashy hyped-up night on the town.

I thought I was watching an old episode of the Flintstones - with a couple of dizzy characters tossed in for good measure - didn't you?

Last year, Lady Gaga made a special category on my Best-Dressed List.

Best-Dressed worst-dressed.

Cher?

She ended up with plain old "Worst-dressed".

Post:  12/31/09

http://ijulian.blogspot.com/2009/12/julian-ayrs-2nd-annual-worst-best_6091.html

This year, both are relegated to oblivion.

Neither gets a mention.

Need I say anymore, you little style disrupters???

http://www.thetattler.biz

MTV Movie Awards...wild & woolly! Sandra Bullock lipstick lesbo kiss! Vampires score big!

The poor man's Julia Roberts!

The MTV Movie Awards were - wild and woolly, prone to lapses of judgment, rife with high-spirited hi-jinks - even poignant at times.

A lipstick lesbian, the alter-ego of Tom Cruise (in a show-stopping dance routine with Jennifer Lopez prettying up the theatrical terrain), and a bobbing Mark Wahlberg loose-as-a-goose caused tongues to wag at water coolers around the country the next day.

The racy ribald humor and streak of rat-a-tat expletives (for the most part nipped in the bud by quick thinking censors - except for a zinger or two - that broke through the shackles intended to harness them) didn’t surprise many.

What do you expect from a network hell-bent on churning out hip edgy hip material to satiate the robust free-wheeling organic tastes of their enviable demographic.

Hands down, MTV gets the nod for hustling up a smattering of precious television moments, that the competition will be struggling to match 'til network television doomsday.

Just around the corner, I expect.

Today, it was no surprise, then - to happen across a news clip in one of the morning papers - which reported that MTV was inclined to apologize for the raunchy material that splashed out over the airwaves non-stop to the delight of rapt viewers.

Ho-Hum.

Business as usual.

In true Hollywood style, the brass at MTV milked the much-anticipated musical extravaganza, for all it was worth.

To entice Sandra Bullock out-of-hiding, for example, the suits created a special Movie Award sure to drum up a ratings blockbuster if the scandal-ridden gal graced the stage with her presence.

Unfortunately, opportunistic starlets - like Scarlett Johansson - seized on the moment to thrust themselves into the glare of the spotlight.

In one of those awkward - you had to be there off-the-wall moments - the lipstick lesbo strode up to the stage begging for a kiss.

Say what?

Talk about queer!

Good sport that she is, Sandra plunked a deep one (somewhat reminiscent of the tongue probe that Al Gore surprised Tipper with) on her pouty lips.

Yeah, a real gagger.

That out of the way, Sandra uttered up one of the sanest sentiments of the night.

“Can we get back to normal now?”

When Tom Cruise gyrated on stage - with shaved head and bizarre wardrobe get-up - many anticipated another golden “couch” moment in spite of the fact Oprah was nowhere in sight.

Surprise!

The former mega-star - struggling for credibility in Tinsel-town after he slipped through the cracks in recent days for head-shaking screwball antics - pulled off an entertaining performance with a slightly out-of-character Jennifer Lopez at his side.

Wonders never cease.

The show continued at a dizzying pace - jokes jolted, fizzled, titillated, struck a chord or didn’t - go figure!

Uh-huh!

The smorgasbord of visual and audio delights was nothing short of a zany parade, with something for everyone, amidst a zoo-like atmosphere that stuck to the wall.

But, the big winner of the night was Twilight.

The sequel - Eclipse - nabbed 5  trophies - to the delight of fans who went wild at the mere mention of their cult hit!

Yes, the Vampire genre continues to propel the industry forward.

For MTV, it's a good marriage with  the Twilight franchise.

Both, will suck the life out of you, if you let ‘em.

http://www.julianayrs.com/

Lindsay Lohan...get "out of Jail" free card! Plunging neckline turns on Judge...

The impetuous beauty wasn’t going to let a little ankle bracelet cramp her style.

Or, keep her down on the farm.

With a little imagination, the gutsy imaginative sex siren, conjured up an outfit that concealed the offending reminder that she was “this close” from ending up in the slammer.

The strong-willed mare fighting a too-tight harness?

Lindsay Lohan, of course.

In spite of well-intentioned advice from her seasoned handlers to stay near the homefires 'til the next court date, the troubled stir-crazy star threw caution to the wind, and tripped-the-light fantastic over the weekend at the MTVs Movie Awards.

Before you could say - Jack Daniels - an alarm was alerting the court that Lindsay may have imbibed one too many (once was enough) - and thus - triggered the release of a signal that would promptly tattle-tale.

Was it possible that a sloppy drunk spilled a drinkie-pooh on Lindsay’s foot?

Or, just maybe, Lindsay was prepared to allege that someone slipped a mickey into her punch to get her into trouble?

Uh-huh.

There must be an ongoing conspiracy against Lindsay!

Or, was Lindsay testing the waters to determine first-hand how much alcohol would be required to trip the alarm, and send her shuffling back to the court in a huff to face a severe tongue lashing from the judge.

One thing was certain, a necessary court appearance was in the offing for Lindsay and/or her attorney to resolve the sticky situation, created by the messy MTV incident.

Indeed!

Next day (bright and early this morning, in fact) bail was set at $200,000.00.

One gossip kingpin quipped on the sidelines in response.

“That cocktail cost her $20,000.00 bucks."

Once again her attorney appeared on her behalf and - like clockwork - a get out of jail “free” card was rubber-stamped right away.

On the heels of that decision, Lindsay’s father flew into a rage.

“She should be placed in rehab for her own protection," he uttered up angrily in so many words.

But, his pleas fell on deaf ears.

The judge appeared to be more smitten with Lindsay’s plunging neckline and luscious mellons than a controlling father with a selfish loveless agenda.

The ball’s in your court once again, Lindsay.

Psst!

Lindsay needs a good man to tame her, don't 'ya think?

Any takers?

http://www.thetattler.biz/

Justin Bieber...PEOPLE cover goofy! Pop star cries foul...

When a artist graces the cover of PEOPLE magazine, they’ve arrived in many respects.

But, in view of the complaints emanating out of the Justin Bieber camp, mainstream images beaming out to the masses is not always a palpable one, welcomed with open arms by the subject.

Shortly after Pop Culture’s “Bible”of  celebrity tattle released a promo on their new darling - Justin Bieber - he roared his disapproval by way of the almighty tweet.

If fans read between the lines, it was obvious.

Bieber hates the squeaky-clean - almost scary - photograph that stares out goofily from the popular weekly on the newstands around the country.

The mouth, for example, is so pepsodent!

Also, it appears that PEOPLE facilitated some photo-shop magic to effect the image of a wholesome all-American pop star (in spite of the fact he’s Canadian).

Ah, it’s the nature of the beast.

Once fame has knocked on a celebrity’s door, the perceptions of the individual become twisted and distorted (triggered by a ravenous press out to manipulate - and eventually devour - their latest caged animal).

I expect that in the near future, Bieber’s handlers will start requesting editorial control, choice of pics, you name it.

Like Streisand, before him, there may be clandestine efforts to protect and promote the persona that fits their vision of the sizzling hot pop star in the early throes of his career on talk shows and at high-profile celebrity events.

If you recall, Barbra Streisand demanded Oprah Winfrey rearrange the furniture on her set, so the Diva's  better side (is there one?) was facing camera.

Antics like that earned La Streisand the title of “Super C**t”.



For good reason, celebrities lay down a lot of cold hard cash to snap up a bevy of expert handlers to usher them up the ladder of success without any burps (or nasty gaffes) causing stumbles along the way.

Superstars are not immune to fatal missteps in the fickle arena - otherwise known as the Hollywood Dream Factory - though.

When Tom Cruise took a dive from his lofty perch (in part due to the infamous couch-jumping scene on Oprah) foes clucked with glee.

No wonder!

Just months prior, Cruise parted ways with the all-powerful well-connected Hollywood public relations team,  once watching over him with hawk-like precision.

Cruise has never recovered from the fallout.

As to Bieber, well it’s not all roses, by any means.

For some inexplicable reason, TMZ has  chosen to knock the kid marvel (with a  No. 1 hit record and a posse of adoring fans "following"  every move).

On one segment, Harvey &  the kids gleefully referred to Bieber as a gruesome virus spreading around the Nation.

The mischievous gossip mongers tend to broadcast off-the-wall embarrassing photos, too, whenever they're offered up by a watchful paparazzi quick on the uptake.

For example, one cynical photog captured a shot of a Bieber billboard captioned - “My World” - atop a strip joint known as “Crazy Girls”.

I caught the whiz kid slip - and reveal  a cocky ill-mannered side - when he plunked his foot down on the coffee table during an appearance on the Jay Leno show.

Right about now, the industry is panting at the mouth, for a delicious Bieber scandal.

If God smiles on me, I may be the lucky one to break the news first.

Eat your heart out, Harvey!
 

http://www.thetattler.biz

Bret Michaels...a real breast man, if he can find one!

When Conan called out the name - Bret Michaels - there were a number of wild hoots and hollers from the studio audience.

The front man for "Poison", swaggered out from behind the curtain, sexily clad in a black "T" - etched with ominous skulls - a pretty, multi-colored bandana, and tight ratty jeans showing off package.

The affable talk show host was revved up and ready to get down to the nitty-gritty.

"So, what kind of woman are you into," Conan probed, or something to that effect.

In the brief moment that Bret hesitated, Conan was all over him like a dirty shirt, "I mean, like, are you a breast man, or what?"

The audience roared at his indiscretion. Bret was quick on the uptake, though.

"A breast man, definitely."

My jaw dropped when Conan went where no talk show host has boldly gone before.

"You like 'em big, or what?"

Bret laughed and noted that it didn't matter.

"That can be fixed," he noted with a sort-of cheshire grin on his face.

Then, he went on to note that he has not squeezed a real breast in a very long time. The audience went into hysterics.

Yeah, men are pretty much "visual" when it comes to sex.

Me?

I'm into blue jeans, especially the faded, snugly-fit kind. Where they've been worn in at the butt, the crotch, the legs...can conjure up so many erotic fantasies, such a turn on!

Woody Allen once said,
"Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's a pretty good one."

West Hollywood Carnaval...trick or treat!

In this neck of the woods, local thrift shops are packin' in excited masqueraders, in search of the perfect accessories for their titillating costumes, for West Hollywood's much-anticipated annual Halloween Carnaval party extravaganza, October 31st. (2008 Gay Edition)

Of course, the annual event is a show-stopper in the Los Angeles lower mainland.

The main street in "Boys Town" will be shut down to traffic to accommodate the two or three hundred-thousand costumers expected to hit the ghoulish trail.

According to MTV and E Entertainment, on the spirited occasion - the little city that could - throws the wildest bash of the year on the hippest square mile on the planet.

There will be three stages featuring live entertainment - enough to rock anyone's world - including the much celebrated costume contest stage, where starry-eyed hopefuls can strut their stuff before the teaming masses!

A number of the clubs will be featuring parties.

This year, Chi Chi La Rue's wild outrageous soiree at HERE LOUNGE is sure to be packed to the cobwebbed rafters and rife with studly boys and a gaggle of ubiquitous gay celebrities toasting cocktail glasses and dancing the spooky night away to the wee hours of dawn with carefree abandon.

Chelsea Handley - star of "Chelsea Lately" on "E" - will be ceremoniously crowned the "Queen of the Carnaval" along with her assistant Chuy ("King of the Carnaval") at the Coronation of the Queen *& King which begins at 9 p.m. on the "Bat Stage."

The honorary title of "Queen of the Carnaval" and "King of the Carnaval" is a highlight at the Carnaval, with the coronation taking place in front of more than 250,000 anticipated revelers this year.

Costume Contest
The quest for the most creative, outrageous and original Halloween costumes in Southern California will take place on Halloween night—right on Santa Monica Boulevard—during the West Hollywood Halloween Carnaval on Friday beginning at 6 p.m.

Unlike in previous years, there will be no pre-qualifying contests in local bars the week before Halloween. Instead, anyone in costume on Santa Monica Boulevard on Halloween night will be a potential finalist for the Costume Contest.

A team of "secret" Halloween judges will be walking up and down Santa Monica Boulevard beginning at 6 p.m. and handing out wristbands that will qualify 20 contestants for the Costume Contest finals at 10 p.m. that evening on the "Bat Stage" located on the corner of Santa Monica Boulevard and San Vicente Boulevard.



So, if you want to get noticed, dress to impress.

Costume Contest finalists will be vying for the $1000 Grand Prize; $500 Second Place Prize and $250 Third Place Prize.

So, get crackin' on that costume, eh?

For spectators, the perennial favs will be out in full garb; the West Hollywood Cheerleaders, for example, in their wild bouffant hairdos, careening roller-skates, and eye-catching red & white outfits (with tight-fitting sweaters stretched to the maxso that over-size boobs can bob gloriously in the fray).

Any celebrity in the news will be fair game, of course!

I expect, there will be wicked, naughty, or just plain hilarious get-ups poking fun at Paris Hilton, Sarah Palin (no effigies please or Jeffrey Prang will getcha), John McCain, O.J. Simpson, you name it.

One year, I suited up as a cowboy, ho hum! Studly, yes. Exciting, no.

If I heard one more "Howdy partner" that night - I thought I would scream bloody-murder - or commit it! The chaps chaffed, too.

Ouch!

Probably one of the most thrilling, sexiest costumes I ever donned, was hatched at the last minute.

Yeah, one dismal year I was going to beg off from the outdoor festivities to catch the show ringside at home (yeah, old age was creepin' in, I guess) - but, last minute - I snapped out of the deep funk and sprang into action.

With despair, I gazed into my sorry closet.

Nada. But then, what did I spy?

Whoa, nellie!

A pair of boots, a felt fedora, and a slightly-wrinkled trenchcoat, beckoned...

Presto!

I tossed in a jockstrap and came up with a real party-pleaser: a "Flasher".

Boy, in that impromptu get-up, I encountered the zaniest, wildest gang of revellers in my entire Halloween-ie life!

No ****; as I elbowed my way through the crowded clubs, bar-hoppers were prone to surreptitiously slip their bejwelled, or hairy, ice-cold hands, under my topoat to cop a feel - non-stop!!!

Or, in a sort-of "truth or dare" moment, offered me enticing beads, if I would flash 'em right out there on the street!

Not only did I end up with a whopping set of jewels that year, but I nearly ended up with pneumonia, next day!

For years, I've been promising myself, I'd train real hard and sculpt my physique to perfection weeks before the big event...so I could confidently strut down the street in a black speedo, with glorious, outstretched Angel wings, revealing a fabulous six-pack, along with humungous pecs!

Well, guess I'll have to settle for "couch potato" this year!

Who knows? Maybe I'll meet up with the condiment of my dreams!

Heh, it's not as bad as one year; on that occasion, I woke up next morning with a rabbit next to me in bed - and hair in my mouth!

Yeah, too many Zombies, go figure!

Justin Timberlake...male artist of year?

Next week, fans of Justin Timberlake will be tuning in to HBO to watch a special concert performance.

Timberlake has been nominated for the prestigious MTV award for the "Male Artist of the year"...but was also was given the nod in six other MTV musical categories.

Unlike most break-away stars in all-male bands, Timberlake chucked out the bubblegum tunes - and chose instead - to gravitate towards a sly, distinctive, talky beat with obvious roots in a vibrant Afro-American Culture; which was ready, able, and willing to propel him forward in the ranks.

Looks like the gamble has paid off for his handlers.

To some he's an oddity.

White-skinned, but underneath, moving to a rhythmic, black beat.

He's not alone in his musings.

Whenever I'm out in the mean streets of L.A, it baffles me a little when I encounter teenage white boys referring to their "homie" or ranting about some guy in the hood who's been disrespectin' them.

Yeah, Black culture has gloriously surged forward, in myriad manifestations; so "on the cuttin' edge of cool" that anxious, vulnerable teens are inclined to jump on the bandwagon.

You see it in all the trappings: the sloppy, oversize T's; the sulky, loose-fit dungarees hangin' down to expose designer boxers; the dazzlin' eye-poppin' bling. And, in a swagger that's animal in nature.

The handshake that bonds is all deft knuckle-bends and clever finger work, gliding over skin surface.

And, the musical staging for the tribunal is distinctive as ***:

There are a lot of fluid, confident moves, talky moments, and splashy, sensual sexual images.

Yo, what attitude!

The early days of Rock 'n Roll - which generated a lot of hysteria - seem so tame by comparison.

Yes, when Elvis Presley first busted out on the radio, before he performed publicly, everyone thought he was a Black, Gospel singer.

Even still, he faced a couple of obstacles on his meteoric rise to Pop Icon status.

Yes, Little Richard gyrated in what amounted to a wild, tribal ritual on stage.

But the idea of Elvis in that posture was too much for Puritanical, middle-class censors to digest.

The hip-swivellin' was too overt, and the sneer way too denigrating - "a bad influence on the youth of America" - critics argued.

When Presley first appeared on The Ed Sullivan Show cameramen were instructed not to shoot below the waist!

Today, just about anythin' goes - innovative musical artists in the limelight now - cross-mix, draw on, and influence each other's musical styling - without boundaries.

As they should.

Music is an International language.