Barack Obama...Mom jeans sissy up ball park! Butch it up, Mr. Prez...

When Barack Obama scrambled on the field this past week in his Mom jeans to pitch the first ball of the game, a few viewers at home were probably chuckling.

In fact, I think I overheard one baseball fan yell at the screen:

Butch it up, you pansy!

Yup - "one size fits all" - tends to separate the men from the boys.

A few reporters on the sidelines were no doubting reminiscing about a former U.S. President who was truly a "man's man".

The dialogue went something like this in the dugout.

"I knew John F. Kennedy. He's no JFK!"

I surmise that Barack either slipped on a pair of Michelle's jeans by mistake in an early-morning fog - or just maybe - his valet forgot to pick up his Calvin's from the cleaners the night before.

No use airing dirty laundry in public now.

Barack should have given the momentous appearance a little more thought, though.

After all, this American pastime tends to be one of the butchest sports here and abroad.

The way a player's pants hug the butt - and accent the fly-line at the crotch - speaks volumes about the studliness of the man.

'Ya know?

Barack's nambie-pambie dash onto the mound was bit - nellie - wouldn't you say?

I have a suggestion for the Prez in the event he wants to butch up his act a tad.

In Hollywood, actors are enrolling in classes specifically geared toward developing a macho persona for any fella a bit too light in the heels when it comes to scoring in the leading man arena.
Maybe the Democrat's handlers could arrange for a workshop or two?

After all - in many respects politics is a lot like acting - isn't it?

Does the name Ronald Reagan ring a bell?

Macho stance with hint of a bulge piquing sexual curiosity preferable!

http://www.julianayrs.com

David Beckham...sexy underwear model returns to LA LA Land! Play Ball, dude...

Will Galaxy fans be treated to eye-candy this season?

A gang of blood-thirsty "Bulls" are chomping at the bit to best naughty soccer stud - David Beckham - when he saunters into the spotlight next week with a mischievous grin on his face.

What, me miss a game?

Team Captain, Landon Brandon, won't be coy with the truant soccer stud, however.

He's got a bone to pick with Becks, after all.

The slightly-peaked media Darling eeked out of seventeen (count 'em, dudes!) games this season with slippery ease.

To the powers-that-be in the head office, he was thumbing his nose at 'em, during the no-shows.

And, Beck's retort from across the big pond?

I'm nobody's houseboy, 'ya know!

The high-profile athelete wasn't going to let a nasty locker-room brawl cramp his style.

No, sir!

Actually, Donovas has been pi**ed because - in his words - he got no respect.

"He just mailed it in during the latter half of the 2008 MLS season".

While Donovan ranted and raved to the press non-stop, with little discretion, Beckam continued on his merry way.

The soccer whiz dazzled 'em on the field in jolly Old England, for starters.

And, pulled his weight with AC Milan.

As to the dog-fight on these shores - well - the gloves are on.

A knock-out punch may be in the offing if Donovan continues with the "bad mouthing" in the press.

In a book due out this week, an author noted that the star-player's alleged inability or unwillingness to fire up a team in a free-fall surprised cry-baby, Donovan.

Without any qualms Donovan allegedly lamented:

"It's disappointing, candidly, because you just want to see a heartbeat, a pulse."

Ouch!

Boys behaving badly, uh-huh!

Sports writers - players, too- are placing sizeable bets in the locker rooms.

Is the strong-willed spoiled sport inclined to tag along with Galaxy in spite of Donovan's abuse?

Or, exercise a buy-out option in his lucrative five-year contract to rejoin AC Milan?

Smart money is on Becks and the Euro trash, folks!

High-priced stud will call?

http://www.julianayrs.com

Dodger's fantasy day...for Dad! Win tickets to a game...

In the true spirit of Father's Day, Macy's is offering up a golden opportunity to win a Dodger "Dad for the Day" fantasy baseball package.

Six contest winners will receive four tickets to the game on June 18th and a chance to join the Dodgers when they dash on to the field at the rip-roaring start of the game.

Baseball fans anxious to put ole dad in the spotlight this Father's Day, are simply required to trek over to a participating Macy's in the greater Los Angeles area by June 14th, and lodge an entry ballot.

For guaranteed seats, a purchase of $75.00 in the men's department by June 21st will nab savvy shoppers a Family Four Pack of ticket vouchers, which may be used at a future Dodger's game.

Play Ball!

http://www.julianayrs.com

Raiders..Davis & Kiffin. He said! He said!

Sure Pops, whatever you say...

Well, it had all the appeal of a train wreck.

Smacked of a messy divorce, perhaps?

Funny that.

If two women get into a war of words, it's a cat fight alright!

But, when men start to batten down the hatches, they're just posturing.

Didn't 'ya know that?

Nonetheless, Al Davis cited irreconcilable differences for the split.

Yup, Lane Kiffin got sacked.

And - maybe I was mistaken - but it looked like Davis was out to humiliate the young buck on the heels of the dastardly deed.

"When I gave him the news, he asked if that meant he wasn't going to get paid, and I told him yes."

No alimony, dude!

Something to that effect.



According to Davis, Kiffin was guilty of spreading "propaganda" and telling "lies" around the grid.

In sum, Kiffin's conduct - Davis lamented - was unprofessional and showed disrespect.



At one point in the press conference, the owner of the illustrious Raiders, produced a letter (in support of his claims) that was allegedly hand-delivered to Kiffin and followed up with special delivery by Federal Express.

Davis had his gloves on and was ready to face his opponent in the ring.

But, Kiffin wasn't about to lace up.

In a separate interview, at a different location, the green coach scoffed at the letter.

"Just because he put it out for everyone to see doesn't mean anything."

When pointed questions were asked, though, Kiffin was reticent about fessing up to the facts.

After noting that he intended to take appropriate action elsewhere first before spilling the beans to the media, he was adamant about one thing.

"I felt embarrassed for the guy."

Dude, a little late for reverse psychology.

You're the one outta the job, Kiff!

Obviously, the young stud was dishing Davis, and the word got back.

I hand it to the wrinkly old guy for coming out of his corner all spunk and guts.

Ah, just betcha, the young buck thought he could outwit the old codger.

That's what my instinct tells me, anyway.

Kiffin says he wasn't trying to get fired - if not - he's not very big in the smarts department, is he?

Years ago, when I was a naive young man, I started to argue with my boss one day.

In about two seconds flat - I was jolted into reality - when my superior interrupted my rant to enlighten me a tad.

"I'm your boss."

If you can't figure that one out, you're dead on the playing field.

Looks like that's what happened to Kiff!