FEDEX...Kinko's, where are you?

Ah, for the old days, when Kinko's was the place to head to wrap up all your printing needs...

Of course, the big draw with Kinko's was in the extras.

There was always an endless supply of paperclips, white-out, glue-sticks, and yellow highlighter to organize your project. And, always within easy reach - in case you screwed up - rulers, scissors and paper-cutters to render a quick patch-up job.

Yes, Kinko's was the one-stop place that met all your needs!

When Jay Leno started to make jokes about Kinko's on the Tonight Show, the owners knew they were on their way!

Occasionally, I strayed too far away from the Kinko zone and was forced to saunter into one of those "other" printing places - only to find the cupboard was not only bare - but I was begrudged a lousy piece of scotch tape by the miserly staff on duty.

Meanwhile, over at Kinko's, they were not only generous, but also ran on the honor system, too.

In the early days, you printed up your own copies, then casually strolled over to the cashier to pay up. I guess some customers were fudging on the numbers because after a while Kinko's outfitted all their copy machines with counters - those bulky, non-aesthetic-looking devices that could easily double for a weapon, if you were in a pinch.

But, some die-hard kleptos found their way around that; after copying their documents, they just slipped out the store and surreptitiously by-passed the cashier altogether.

At this point, Kinko's introduced the pay kiosk with credit card capability; is it my imagination, or did Kinko's start to head downhill from there? Copies rose to 9 or 10 cents a piece, the cost of Internet access jumped to a staggering 18 cents a minute, and they reluctantly provided you with a bag for your purchases when you signed off at the cashier.

But, the staff always remained friendly and weathered the storm.

Then, along came Fedex and the big buy-out. Now, they're known as FedexKinko's.

The name doesn't exactly trip trillingly off the tongue, does it? Even Kinko'sFedex has an oddball sound to it, wouldn't you agree? I kinda' like KinkyFedex - but something tells me they'll never go for it.

Besides, after paying all those big bucks for the popular giant of the printing industry, I expect they'll want to keep their own name up front and middle stage. I expect they're only using the Kinko's association right now to attract loyal consumers familiar with the brand name.

In time, Kinko's will be axed, and FEDEX will stand alone.

Until General Electric comes along...

It's a corporate jungle out there.