Dating...pick-up lines that get you in-like Flynn! Only the lonely...

On one of the local morning talk shows, DJ’s were discussing the best pick-up lines to land a date with the fair sex.

It was agreed, without hesitation, that moving in too quickly on the prey was a bad idea.

Looking too desperate (or horny) was not such a great way to start off a relationship apparently (according to the polls, anyway).

Pu**y savvy Don Juans were hip to the fact that surveying the dating terrain from afar for a moment or two was the best approach for dudes anxious to score.

Timing was important, after all.

It wouldn’t hurt for a horn dog to pay attention to an "open letter" to males that recently appeared in a slick monthly magazine.

In that hilarious piece, women revealed what they found attractive in men.

A guy who drinks scotch is sexy, most tarted-up ladies fessed up.

"He shouldn't drink anything sweet or frothy,” the  expert noted.

An un-manly cocktail like that might land you a date with her young brother, instead.

A caller this morning was asked to show his stuff by way of a little amusing play-acting on the live broadcast.

As a laid-back Lothario, he wasn’t half bad.

“Heh, the weekend’s coming up. What are you up to?"

The “heh” softened the approach, I guess.

A way to sort-of slide into home base.

The smooth disc jockey suggested the date-master utilize the fact  actress Jo-Lo’s latest feature film - The  Back-up Plan - was currently screening to maneuver a cozy rendez-vous at the local movie house.

The suggestion caused the dude’s pulse rate to rev up right away.

“The sweat’s breaking already,” he joked.

There’s an old saying which goes something like this.

“A fair maiden was never won by a faint heart.”

When interviewed - a bevy of  pretty gals (and handsome guys) - admitted they were lonely.

“Most people think we’ll be too selective because of our looks.”

Nope.

Time and time again I have noticed a knock-out sitting at a bar sipping on a cocktail alone, because potential dates in the lounge were too intimidated to make a play for their affection (and feared rejection).

Then, some average-looking person was bold enough to walk up, and say hi.

Guess what?

A large percentage of the time, the twosomes departed together, at which point the other folks in the room started kicking themselves.

Want a line that I have used over the years that never fails?

“So, are you into guys with big dicks?”

Works like a charm every time!

http://www.thetattler.biz

Phil Spector...guilty of 2nd degree murder! Wall of sound crumbles...

From the sidelines, everyone held their collective breath on Friday afternoon, when the jury for the Phil Spector trial (No. 2) took a break for the weekend deadlocked over issues that cried out for a just verdict.

Last year, I followed the trial intensely, and penned a post on some of the more curious aspects of the proceedings (and evidence) which raised a spectre of doubt in the courtroom.

Post: 08/29/09

http://ijulian.blogspot.com/2007/08/phil-spectorwhodunit.html

Mr. Spector is known for creating the infamous "Wall of Sound" that was (in part, anyway) responsible for the phenomenal success of a handful of megastar pop singers over the past few decades (the Beatles among them).

Because of Spector's known bizarre social behavior - and a penchant for mixing alcohol and gun play - all accusing fingers were inclined to point to the legendary music producer as the potential murderer at the trial.

But, the slippery devil - not unlike the teflon Don - managed to escape the wrath of the victim's friends and business associates - who adamantly cried foul - when the eccentric multi-millionaire was acquitted first-time around the legal circuit.

And so, a second trial commenced, forthwith.

In a standing-room only courtroom yesterday, the jurors found Spector guilty of 2nd degree murder, six years after police first stumbled upon the bloody body of a statuesque blond actress by the name of Lana Clarkson.

At a news conference, the Jury forewoman asserted that it was the "totality" of the evidence that prosecutors presented over the past five months in the courtroom that cinched it for the panel of dedicated Jurors.

No one piece of evidence singled out any smoking gun theory apparently.

On the heels of the verdict, legal eagles speculated that Phil Spector faces a mandatory life prison term when he appears for sentencing on May 29th, 2009.

The defendant won't be eligible for parole until he has served at least 18 years of the term, provided he has maintained a low profile in jail (i.e., there are no altercations with fellow inmates or trips to the infamous "hole" for misconduct) and remained on good behaviour during the duration of his stint in the pokey.

On the radio airwaves this morning, a handful of disc jockeys speculated that Spector would not make it out alive if he's tossed into the penal system with the general population.

According to one radio personality, an author who wrote a bio on the defendant, was inclined to take the position that without the trappings of his wealth - a mansion outfitted with high security, wine and song at his beck 'n call, friends and confidants to protect him from the indignities that common folk experience on a day-to-day basis - Spector won't survive in close quarters with hardened felons.

The District Attorney's office is apparently celebrating the outcome of the long egregious trial.

According to sources, Spector is the first high-profile celebrity to be convicted in over forty years in the Los Angeles courts.

Attorneys in the DA's office (who prefer to remain nameless) grudgingly confessed that spotlighted defeats in the murder trials of O.J. Simpson and Robert Blake still stung.

"Celebrity cases are always a little different," grimaced District Attorney Steve Cooly.

In the past, Cooly has blatantly insulted jurors, who appeared to have been too starry-eyed to see the forest for the trees.

After Jurors acquitted Robert Blake in 2005, for instance, he demeaned them by alleging they were incredibly stupid.

In the final analysis, he summed it all up this way.

"Sometimes the laws of gravity as we know them don't work in celebrity cases."

Shortly after the verdict was read, and the hub-bub died down a bit, Spector's attorney noted that he would lodge an appeal.

The Judge's decision to allow women to testify about events over a three decade period was ripe for an Appellate court review, asserted lawyer Doron Weinberg.

"We believe that analytically there is absolutely no legal basis for the admissibility of that evidence."

Spector's attorneys asked that the defendant be permitted to remain free on $1 million dollar bail pending the imposition of his sentence in May.

However, prosecutors objected on the grounds that the Alhambra resident had a history of threatening people with guns and that there may be an incentive to flee the jurisdiction to avoid incarceration.

In response, Judge Larry Paul Fidler issued a note for the record.

"Public safety and public protection are paramount."

The victim's mother and sister declined comment when reporters clamoured for a quote.

What else was there to say?

Justice was served in my estimation.

Spector the musical wall-of-sound whiz kid

http://www.julianayrs.com

Breast "reading"...siliconfidence signals false sense of security according to experts!

A couple of DJ's in Vegas day-before-yesterday were either high on the stuff that Phelps has been smokin' lately or - just maybe - were suffering from a jilted night out on-the-town - and thus - a classic case of the hang-over blues.

I've heard of phrenology (study of bumps on the scalp), palmistry (hand analysis), and even intuitive interpretations of facial characteristics.

But breast reading?

With dead earnest (is there any other kind?) the talkative duo were engaged in a lively discussion about a recent study (!) that conjured up a novel theory that the shape, size, and the bounce factor in a women's breasts (and even the extent of perkiness in the nipples) were a surefire way to ferret out a potential mate's personality traits.

"Wanna trek over to my digs and have your breasts read," may turn out to be the cleverest pick-up line to come down the pike in years, dudes!

"What about augmented t**s," one jock innocently queried his buddy on air.

"Oh, yeah! Women with breasts implants are usually career gals."

According to the quirky broadcasters, c-cup boosters tend to be wanna-bee models or actresses who either pine to sling their jugs (of beer) at Hooters or claw their way onto a sleazy casting director's couch in order to snag a role as a Swedish milk maid - let's say - in an independent film with a bit of soft porn titillation thrown in.

"Usually, they end up suffering from silaconfidence," one of the astute disc flappers divulged to the rush-hour audience without skipping-a-beat.

"Silaconfidence develops from a false sense of security."

Apparently, the lusty babes get a boost in esteem for a brief interim; but - shortly thereafter - their confidence ends up sagging much the same way their breasts do once gravity sets in.

So, ladies, dont' fall into the booby-trap!

After all, it's your personality that counts bottom-line with the dudes, right?

An unknown author said it best:

"Men often give love for sex, women often give sex for love."

Nipple play a homoerotic fantasy for some dudes!

http://www.julianayrs.com

Jessica Simpson...pregnant?

Yesterday, Zimbio posted a publicity shot of Jessica Simpson on their main web page with a caption that noted how "healthy" she looked.

One glance at the photograph - and I was inclined to note to myself - "pregnant".

This morning the airwaves were rife with fat jokes about Jessie and speculation that the moment's "it" girl is with child.

One catty gossip speculated that the earthy sexpot caught Tony (current squeeze?) in bed with another babe.

The infidelity especially hurt because the sexy cutie allegedly caught the couple in the throes of passion between her own designer sheets!

Ouch!

For good reason, another rumor monger speculated that the pregnancy may have been a deliberate attempt to firmly entrench her claws into her man!

But, my favorite dig came from a male disc jockey, amused by the scenario.

"Judging by the photos, she got Tony Romo mixed up with the restaurant, Tony Roma's."

Well, maybe she can model for ads for full-figured gals if motherhood doesn't pan out.

Full-figured model Mia Tyler has tips for Jessica on the catwalk

http://www.julianayrs.com

David Beckham...disc jockeys in awe of crotch in underwear ads!

I felt like I was in some backwater town when I was cruising along Paradise Road and by chance flipped on a local radio station.

A couple of talkative disc jockeys were chatting each other up over David Beckham's scintillating billboard ads sprouting up around the Nation.

I posted an item on that months ago. Old news, isn't it? Gee, news travels at a snail's pace in Sin City, I guess.

One disc spinner noted that the risque blurbs of Becks in tight undies caused quite a commotion in San Francisco. And - I got the distinct impression that he was afraid that the mere mention of the gay mecca by the bay - might turn his sexual persuasion the other way. Or, at least make his own preference suspect.

"That underwear thing is - uh - big up there," he noted with a suspiciously fake masculine tone to his voice.

"Is it a Calvin Klein ad," the other host queried.

Duh!

Well, it was pretty obvious the other guy was hetero, all the way.

Any self-respecting gay man would know that the splashy sexy ads are for Menswear Designer, Emporio Armani.

"The thing about this underwear - um - is that it makes your business look big."

Ah, this is the one occasion I regretted there was no visual image to match up with the dialogue. Did he actually utter that comment with a - er - straight face?

Business? Are they in the dark ages in Vegas?

Heh dudes, it's okay to say package, Johnson, crotch - whatever.

In fact, no one in the range of your air waves is going to cringe, I expect. After all, this is the land of the scantily-clad bodacious babe and "thunder" from down under!

Well, maybe a bit of locker-room chat will give a handful of horny listeners a swelled - um - head. Don't know about you dudes, but suggestive words can be a naughty thrill to some if they're emoted just right.

"And, he looks humongous," the jock continued.

Ah, the dude has obviously been taking a serious gander at those shots, eh?

I am surprised they didn't wonder aloud if Becks was uncircumcised - the soccer stud being a Brit - and all.

Maybe, the Armani folks will bring out the uncut version at a later date, do 'ya think?

"Well, he's no Mario Lopez for sure," the observant (!) dude chuckled before moving on to the next tidbit of gossip.

Mario who?

The long and short of it? Obviously, Becks gets a kick out of the titillation and thrills.

Check out the impromptu snap below taken recently on a downtown Hotel balcony.

Wonder who's on the end of his scope?

I'm betting it's not Posh, that's for sure!