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Showing posts with label Doggie Style Sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Doggie Style Sex. Show all posts

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Anthony Weiner...stiff dick quote! Underwear ads a turn on for latent homos!










In the aftermath of all the brouhaha over Anthony Weiner's outrageous indiscretions over the Internet on a couple of popular social hubs, folks are still scratching their heads and searching their souls for an answer.

How could anyone - particularly a seasoned politician in the glare of the public eye - be so stupid?


An old expression obviously applies in this instant case.

"A stiff dick has no conscience!"



Latent teen homos often turned on by underwear ads!

Friday, May 6, 2011

Mark Zuckerkberg...$7 million-dollar home reminiscent of Osama bin Laden's compound?





 
 
Is it just me, or is Mark Zuckerberg's spanking new mansion somewhat reminiscent of slain Osama bin Laden's luxury digs in Pakistan?
 
With the exception of the pool, of course! 


Paddling about a pool in a flowing robe makes the recreational leisure past-time tough - even for an expert swimmer - after all.

The upscale property in Palo Alto has that certain shabby secluded aura about it that reminds me of the sprawling compound where the former Al Qaeda leader was serviced by his five accommodating wives.
 
Do you suppose Mark has a few bottles of virility boosters around the house, too, or are the big buck dividends that flow daily into the coffers enough to trigger an adrenalin rush and the libido of the single twenty-six-year old?
 
Valued at $13.5 billion, and now a recongized-on-sight celebrity made famous by the Oscar-winning film The Social Network, Zuckerberg is quite the catch.

Curiously, that!
 
Although the flick explored a myriad of aspects of the Facebook CEO's life, there wasn't even a hint or two about his sexual yearnings or his demanding tastes between-the-sheets.
 
Does the young stud like it missionary-style, for instance?
 
On the other hand, Doggie-style might be up his alley, too.
 
Who knows!
 
The restored upscale home boasts 5,617 square feet and rests on a 17,100 square-foot plot.
 
The investment property include five bedrooms, five and a half baths, a banquet-size dining room, a music alcove and glassed-in porch.
 
The backyard is a bachelor's virtual (!) playground, natch, and features a saltwater pool, a spa, an outdoor gazebo with a wood-burning fireplace, and a carport.
 
Like Osama's infamous pad, the retreat is shielded from nosy neighbors and lookie loo's with a high wall.

Pretty Citrus trees line the edge of the Zuckerberg estate, too.
 
The tony neighborhood - known as Crescent Park - is comprised mainly of median single-family homes which sell for an average of $1.9 million.

Public records have established that the deal closed in mid-March.

And, aht the hush-hush sale, was conducted through a third party LLC.

Obviously, if those Winklevoss twins win a court judgment eventually, it will be tough placing a lien on the Zuckerberg Castle.

Smart dude!

Do you suppose he paid cash-on-the-barrel or in Facebook overvalued stock?

News at 11!

http://www.teetotaler.biz




Friday, September 17, 2010

Mark Wahlberg...13 inch co** from Boogie Nights kept in drawer!









Some Hollywood myths should be left alone!

For instance, today Mark Wahlberg confessed that the 13-inch donkey-dick he gamely exposed to the cameras in the soft-porn flick - Boogie Nights - was not his own impressive steely-hard co**.

In addition, he also shattered another bogus rumor, when he also admitted that the eye-popping penis was not even the man-tool of a ballsy stand-in he had an affair with off-camera.

OMG!

Over the years I actually bought into the gossip that the producers enticed Marky Mark into exposing himself on celluloid - to the tune of $100,000.00 - for every inch he mustered up with the help of a studly fluffer!

Do 'ya suppose the former rapper was just packing a rolled-up argyle sock two to give the impression he was so well-hung in those infamous tightie-whitie ads?

Only Calvin knows fer sure!

As to the dildo, for some intriguing reason, Wahlberg put in his dibs for it when the flick wrapped.

"I used to keep it in my desk drawer. And I'd take it out and slap my friends in the face with it. I don't keep many things from my movies, but that just seemed to have personal significance," Mark slyly winked to a media hound in recent days

Do tell!

I can think of worse punishments.

A dildo up the a** without lube or mercy!

He looks like the type, doesn't he?





The flick that revived Burt Reynolds' career!


Thursday, March 11, 2010

Dave Letterman Show...Jessica Simpson quote on being a lard ass!





I wouldn't want Jessica to roll over on me!


On Dave Letterman's show last night - Jessica Simpson (all dolled-up and squeezed into a vivid hooker-red cocktail dress) - made no bones about it (lovely or not) - when the big one reared its ugly head (inside-or-outside the boudoir).

With a shrug, and a smug smirk on her puffy face, the blond (dark at the roots) sexpot stated matter-of-fact her position (missionary or otherwise) on the issue of weight:

"I thought guys liked having something to hold onto."

Yes, Jessica baby!

But, they'd prefer not have to facilitate a fork lift to maneuver their plus-size mammas in-between-the-sheets!




The wonders of airbrushing!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Valentine's Day...Block Party in WeHo offers erotic special!


HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!




Probably the best Valentine's Day special I stumbled on this past week was screaming  (not  unusual in West Hollywood) out at me from  Block Party - a trendy menswear shop on Santa Monica  - that boasts quite a few items in stock that celebrate (and show off) the male physique.

Get this!

Buy 2 pair of underwear (I feel a boner coming on already) and a DVD  porno of your choice is FREE.


Now you need some party favors!

Lube, X-tra-large Trojans, what have you!

Oh, and a hot date, of course!

Play safe!





Thursday, January 28, 2010

Brad Pitt...bouncing back to Jennifer Anniston? Jolie seeks stud service elsewhere...


Angelina ruffled Brad's manhood!




On the heels of the frenzied gossip over the alleged break-up of Brangelina (ball-buster Jolie apparently cheated on the sexist man alive which caused the split) "insiders" "in the know" are touting Brad's reunion with Jennifer Anniston (surely you remember that mousey little broad with the ditzy personality who once starred on Friends).

According to individuals close to the winsome-twosome, once Brad and Jolie resolve the issues regarding the custody of their children, a potentially-messy financial entanglement (and so forth and so on), the studly wimp will be back in the smothering arms of Anniston.

In fact, some tongue-waggers are asserting that once the strangle-hold Jolie has on Brad is released, they'll resume where they left off and publicly acknowledge their undying lover for each other.

Makes 'ya want to puke, doesn't it?

In my opinion, if Brad skulks back to Anniston, he'll underscore what a loser he is (in the romance and relationship department, for sure).

Setting his sights on Jolie origiinally, bedding her - and setting up house thereafter - stressed what a conquering stud he could be.

It was a ballsy move, after all.

But, in retrospect, it appears that the strident (territorial) sex goddess managed to serve up his manhood on a silver platter to nibble on at her whim.
No man should put up with that.

Wishy-washy Anniston is just a stab at getting back to normalcy.

Just betcha that if you plopped down for a chat with Brad he'd bore you to tears.

Maybe he and Jennifer deserve each other.

Great eye candy, yes!

Although the lights appear to be on - on the other hand - looks like no one is at home.

What Brad needs is a good fu** to get the lead out.

Amen!




Sloppy seconds!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Senator Scott Brown...nude layout reveals stimulus package! Cosmo grabbed him in 1982...




You have to wonder if the reason Scott Brown got elected in Massachusetts was due to the fact he posed in Cosmopolitan years ago.

I expect that his opponents got wind of the splashy nude spread and plastered it around Mass (the State) to tarnish his political image.

But, instead of turning voters against him, the revelation boomeranged in his lusty favor as voters turned out in droves to cast their ballots.

Today, folks (male & female) are gazing on his studly bod and giving a thumbs up!

Wouldn't kick him out of bed for eating crackers, eh?

The silver temples underscore Brown's a dignified mature man in control of  his - um - faculties!

Unlike yesterday - where musical beds were the campus sport - I surmise that dinner and a fine glass of vintage wine amount to foreplay in his post frat boy stage.

Burt Reynolds, the first high-profile (straight?) celebrity to sprawl out on a bearskin rug by a roaring fire with a come hither look, understood the importance of sizzling exposure here and there now and then.

Just ask Dinah, darlink!

And, the million or so bucks Cosmos forks over to get down 'n dirty in the buff,  is nothing to sniff at.

In fact, Brown confessed he did the strip tease cause he needed intuition for college.

Not as clever as Marilyn Monroe's quip when it was learned she (OMG!) tossed off her frilly underthings to pose for a series of titillating publicity stills.

As the news broke about the potentially-raunchy cheesecake, there were a couple of tense moments for Marilyn, when she found herself cornered by a frenzied posse of paparazzi chomping at the bit for all the tawdry details.


When reporters quizzed her pointedly about what she had "on" when the photographer snapped away, without batting a luscious eyelash she coquettishly purred:

"The radio."



One wrong word and her dazzling legit career would have been in shambles; instead, her quick wit and delicious sense of humor saved her from the brink of disaster.

Consequently, her reach for the brass ring soared to greater heights.

Instead of being flogged in the backrooms of sleazy all-night bookstores in a plain brown wrapper, the photos were snapped up to  grace the pages of a quality calendar which is a pricey collector's item today.

Brown?

I expect he'll be pumping the fleshy bejwelled hands of politician's wives on the campaign trail.

The charismatic opportunist with the healthy libido may even sign a jaunty autograph across his bare chest (or elsewhere for kicks).

By the way, a strageticaly-placed hand teasingly hides his "Johnson" in the lay-out.

To fit all his manhood in, required a two-pager feature, with strict adherance to strategic positioning.

On that note, do 'ya suppose the man-of-the-hour is into the missionary or doggie-style?

The editors have coined a few slogans for his next political campaign, by the way.

*Who Needs Joe Plumber When You Can Have Scott Six-Pack?

*Scott Brown: A Name You Can Trust, Abs You Can Believe In

*Vote for Brown. He Has One Hell of a Stimulus Package

If he makes it to the White House, some underage page (in a pretty frock and bright red lipstick) just may find out up-close and personal.



Tuesday, January 19, 2010

San Francisco...gay blades on the prowl! How to snag one...





Twist on Colt 45!



If you stroll around the Castro district and slip into a popular eatery for a bite to eat - or flip through a local rag - it becomes obvious to the astute observer with the keen ear and eye what is important to most upwardly mobile gay men in the hilly picturesque climbs here.

For starters - grooming and appearance are tantamount - to ensure a full dance card.

Shortly after I arrived in town, I took a glance in the mirror one morning and was aghast at how unruly my curly locks had become almost overnight.

Well, at least I have a headful of the lustrous stuff, eh?

Samson would be envious!

The locals tend to keep their strands close-cropped - or shave the head altogether - for a decidedly kept-up (kept?) look that definitely appeals (to other dudes in the Castro especially).

The cost of haircuts underscore their value, too.

In spite of the fact a Frisco resident keeps the cut quite short - and a trim takes about a second or two to finesse - no one here blinks at the $25 charge that most barbers (hairstylist sounds too prissy for the butch crowd here) ring up on the cash register with little aplomb.

Personally, I balked.

At a couple of the trendy salons I zip into down south in LA LA LAND, I usually pay considerably less.

The body electric is of paramount importance to the socially-correct, too.

While WeHo gym bunnies tend to toss on threads that reveal their buffed bods to the max (usually in solids in bold eye-catching colors) fashion savvy peacocks here tend to toss on jeans, shirts, and jacket combos in a designer vein predominatly crafted in chic sexy fabrics and hues that attract, arouse, whatever!

San Franciscans, known for their in-your-face gaeity, have no qualms about putting emphasis on what's going on beneath the perceived image, either.

After all, cleanliness and robust sexual health, are prerequisites for the active man-about-town.

So, I was not surprised when I spotted an ad for a web site known as:

 http://www.healthypenis.org/

Here, they keep a watchful eye on what's going on below theubiquitous belt (get their pipes cleaned, if necessary).

No barnacles on bottoms in Frisco proper.

How about yours?

I chuckled at the ad for "emergency" tans I spied one day while wolfing down my oatmeal at cozy Orphan Andy's.

http://www.mygaygo.com/

In the event a hot date saunters into the picture unexpectedly out-of-the-blue (with all the tourists flowing in and out of town it's bound to be more the norm than not) a dash of color and a quick douche perk up the confidence and mood of the man-on-the go who needs an edge to make headway over the competition.

In the alternative, a fat wallet will do.

At breakfast, tidbits of conversation zinging non-stop over my sleepy head, piqued my curiousity too.

Some fellas in the neighborhood wondered amongst themselves if the local meter maid bothered to determine if a car parked haplessly in front of a driveway belonged to the owner of the house

"My neighbor keeps parking in front of mine. What should I do," one handsome thirty-something male wailed.

In WeHo, they'd call the cops, 'fer sure.

Here, they are so genteel, that they're afraid to upset the unspoken golden rules.

Which reminds me, these well-turned out dudes, all act so cool!

I suppose every single guy (married ones, too) are potential bedmates, so they wisely mind their P's and Q's.

After all, after the midnight hour - when a bevy of drinkie-poohs have jolted the sensibilities and obliterated normal mores - pure unadulterated raw (anonymous) sex may be what's in order.

Therapists say that a potent sexual release often provides welcome relief from the hectic day's pent up tension and frustration which might otherwise cloy beneath the surface making one cranky.

Heh, it just hit me like a bolt of lightening.

Maybe,  that's why San Francisco males are so easy-going.

Unlike the prudes back east or to the north, they're constantly humming from that daily hunk of loving.




Gay studs pine to croon!


Friday, December 4, 2009

Barack Obama...Tucker Carlson quote! Great sex is just that...



What can I say?
Powerful Black men turn me on!




Last night, one of the talk show gabbers (down on the Prez) invited Tucker Carlson on the live broadcast so that the pundit with the ubiquitious bow tie (and squeakey-clean boyish good looks) could wax poetic about the state of Barack Obama's image around the country.

At one point, the romantic preppy do-gooder - he is quite the smooth-talking schmoozer, isn't he? - went off (!) on a tangent about sex.

"It's kind of like great sex," he chirped up with a philosophical tone to his voice.

At this juncture, the host told him to hold on a minute.

"What do you mean, Tucker," he probed (!) further.

"Great sex is just that. You can enjoy it for what it is. But, why not have more?  Couldn't you like the person, too?"

The spirited conversation got way off-track on the heels of the intriguing comment.

In fact, a female disc jockey was inclined to express her disdain about the direction the earthy the arousing conversation was taking.

But, Carlson stumbled on - the unexpected foray into bedroom hijinks revealed more about the perky news anchor than he could have ever imagined, I expect - in a concerted effort to - um - hammer home his point.

"What's wrong with great sex," the amused radio jock wondered aloud.

Nothing, it relieves a lot of tension, I blurted out loud (in spite of the fact I was a lone passenger in the car).

"Bad sex is the absolute WORST, though," I  found myself hollering at the radio on the dash as I maneuvered my way through  busy Los Angeles traffic.

Maybe the rumors are true!

Post: Gay Rumors about Barack Obama persist

http://ijulian.blogspot.com/2009/06/barack-obamagay-rumors-post-getting.html

Was Tucker hinting that  sex with Obama was great, but that it left a bad - um - taste in his mouth?

Or, just maybe, they fought over who was the "top".

Something tells me, Carlson makes a better bottom, though.

Now that headline caption in the morning daily (Los Angeles Times) makes sense:

"Why he named a pullout date."

Ouch!

News at 11!



Carlson does this thing with his tongue
Great sex, dude!



Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Good Samaritan...with ulterior motives!




Drats!

Yesterday morning I hopped into my vehicle and there wasn't enough juice in the battery to turn the engine over.

Upon closer inspection, I was able to determine I left my parking lights on.

Duh!

I lifted the hood, nonetheless, and thought I would double-check the wiring to make sure the connections weren't loose.

As I was doing my butch handy-work, a white male cruised up - at which point - I relayed my dilemma.

"Do you have cables," he softly asked.

When I nodded in the affirmative, he paused a beat, then half-whispered through the open window:

"Would you like to get su**ed?"

Well, that wasn't exactly the kind of jump start I was looking for!

Billy Crystal said it best:

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."





Monday, March 16, 2009

Robert Pattinson (Twilight)...tough to have sex doggie-style with straight dude! Scene depicts Salador Dali tryst...

Weird man, but I kinda dug it!



When two gay dudes hook up, and jump into the sack, they generally get the semantics down right-off-the-bat so-to-speak.

The bedside chat may be inclined to drift along these lines.

"So, are you a top or a bottom," studly College quarterback Chet rasps.

"I'm versatile," quips the hairdresser from Greenwich Village.

Then, they go at it.

Yeah, the ball-playing hunk ends up on his back with his legs up in the air!

With that in mind, it's obvious why a dilemma occurred on the set of "Little Ashes" when Robert Pattinson and Javier Beltran took a stab at a homoerotic soft porn love scene!

This couple of straight dudes couldn't fathom their butts - from their little doggies - in the worst way.

In fact, Pattison whined to a GQ editor that the extremely hard-core sex scenes were not a regular old piece of - um - cake.

"The hardest part was trying to do it doggie-style."

"Because we’re both straight, what we were doing seemed kind of ridiculous."

Well, at least we know the Twilight star can suck!

According to the sexy heartthrob, the shoot was downright humiliating.

"The Spanish electricians were giggling to themselves," he recalled with disdain.

Obviously it was a joke to 'em because - as everyone knows - most Latino-types are basically bisexual.

Well, in Los Angeles, anyway.

From the get-go their ready to whip it out, falls on their knees (do it doggie, donkey, or kitten style) - without any qualms.

Set in Madrid in 1922, "Little Ashes" recalls the boisterous tale of young Salvador Dali (played by Pattison) who meets film maker Luis Bunuel (Matthew McNulty) and writer Federico Garcia Lorca (Javier Beltrán) at university.

The rest is all Homo 101 if my memory serves me well!



Dali Self Portrait


http://www.julianayrs.com

 
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