A few months ago, I noted that blogging foisted me reluctantly into the spotlight.
I never expected the phenomenon; after all, my profile shot is quite miniscule compared to the rest of the content on my blog site.
Unlike many post-it folks - my blog is not a vanity site - where I am inclined to splash a rash of publicity stills of moi across poorly-designed pages screaming out the obvious.
Me! Me! Me!
In view of the fact quite a few bloggers use monikers on the Internet, and cruise anonymously about the World-Wide-Web, maybe my modus operandi jars web surfer sensibilities a tad.
Golly, it's him in the flesh. He's a real person!
Of course, from the offset, I was keen to the fact that there were thousands of blogs out there vying for public consumption.
For this reason, I always endeavoured to offer up informative posts on topical subjects, a bit of social commentary, political news, and - oh my God - a dollop of celebrity dirt!!!
On occasion I walk the line - get a little outrageous - and the sh** hits the fan.
Maybe that's why people stare.
Dude, he said what?
Uh-huh.
A psychic foretold I'd be famous one day for "telling it like it is".
Well, maybe, that prediction has come to pass.
Yeah, the truth is hard to swallow, for some.
Maybe that's why all the eyes are focused on me now.
The other night, for instance, I waltzed into a movie theatre to catch a flick.
When I strode into the lobby - all the theatre-goers went silent - and acted like there was an elephant in the room.
On occasion when I stroll through The Abbey, too, jaws drop.
One night, I overheard a woman with her back to me, wonder aloud:
"What is everyone staring - "
At that moment, she half-turned and spied me over her shoulder strolling by.
Her voice trailed off - at which point - a dazed expression swept across her face.
At CVS when I stop in for a pomegranate Tea late at night - it's the only really good thirst quencher I know of in a pinch - the staff fumble around and make fools of themselves.
When I stroll up to the counter to pay, they totally lose it!
I want to utter up a tired old expression.
"Take a picture. It lasts longer."
The paparazzi wised up to that scenario a long time ago.
If I pop into the Internet Cafe to check e-mail, curious onlookers glance at my screen, ad nauseam.
Are they seeking lay-out tips or trying to get a scoop on my next sizzling post?
Meanwhile, I pretend not to notice the bizarre behaviour.
Now, it makes sense to me why celebrities react so negatively to fans and strangers when they're are out on-the-town for a respite from it all.
If a handful become recluses, it's easy to fathom why.
At times, the way people act, 'ya feel like you're from another planet.
Britney Spears must go through he** when she ventures out.
The creepy part has started, too.
Gawkers - with stalker tendencies - tend to lurk around when I am quietly having a light snack out-of-doors.
And, a strange character with an eerie light in his eye, pays too much attention when I occasionally dash down to the library for a book or two.
I hate to be rude, but judging from his odd-ball demeanor, it appears to be a better bet to take a wide berth.
On occasion, pedestrians and shoppers stop dead in their tracks, when I alight from my car.
There he is, they seem to be saying to themselves.
How can I capitalize on this chance encounter?
Lately, I've entered a new phase of my fame, too.
I used to hear people whisper behind my back:
"Do you know who that is?"
Then, there was a new line of query after that, for about a month or two.
"Do you know how old he is?"
At that juncture, curious spectators tended to surreptitiously inch forward a bit, to scrutinize for tell-tale signs of a nip 'n tuck here and there.
Nope, I haven't had any work done.
Not yet!
I expect that phrase three of my ten minutes of fame is on the rocky horizon.
When I'm in line at Starbucks, or Gelson's, I expect I'll hear astonished musings in an entirely different vein.
"Is he still alive?"
Yup, over my dead body!!!
